I'm a real person lol just a lurker

A few days before, multiple flights canceled in <24 hours from A due to wildfire, so booked a shuttle to airport just in case figured I could catch the flight from B to C.

I am told, apparently if I don't check in to A, flight from B to C will be auto-canceled. Even if I am physically at B.

If I get a refund on the shuttle AND flight A-B is canceled due to natural disaster, they will FULLY reschedule ALL my flights, preventing me from getting to airport C on time at all. This is impossible to know the day before.

Rebooking the flight so that airport A-airport B flight is canceled while keeping all the other flights intact COSTS me an extra $200.

The restaurant server forgot your order so now you won't have time to eat before the end of your lunch break? That's inconvenient and frustrating, but doesn't call for slamming your fist on the table or other displays of physical aggression. Find a different way to problem solve.

Your roommate forgot to do the dishes again so now you don't have clean dishes to eat a meal after working a double shift? Again that is frustrating and inconvenient, but certainly doesn't call for slamming doors or other displays of physical aggression. Find a different way to problem solve.

First of all, you never know who has PTSD, and PTSD is far more common than you might think. Even if you think you know someone very well you can never know if there's a part of their past they never share with anyone.

Second of all, the reason that as a society we are trying to move away from physical violence as a method of problem solving is that physical violence for problem solving is inherently unequal. It adds to the marginalization and oppression of disabled people, elderly people, children, people just naturally smaller in stature and frame, survivors of domestic violence, and anyone else who is at a disadvantage in physical altercations. This includes displays of physical aggression, like punching a wall, slamming your fist, raising your voice, or slamming doors.

If you're someone naturally smaller in frame and stature, or a child, or elderly, or physically disabled, and someone larger and more physically fit than you is doing displays of aggression such as shouting or slamming doors, it can be very frightening and possibly trigger a panic attack especially if you have PTSD.

But regardless of someone's size and physical capabilities, it's always possible to bring up traumatic memories that trigger a panic attack if you resort to physical displays of aggression, making it never okay.

Unless someone is genuinely making you feel unsafe, such as someone stalking or harassing you or potentially about to attack you, then you have absolutely nothing worthwhile to gain from making someone intimidated/afraid.

Personally I think it's pretty unfair to compare slamming doors to "you mustn't make any loud noise ever in case you traumatize someone". I am a survivor of domestic violence, and my abuser would slam doors while in a rampage. A lot of people I know who have survived domestic violence have said the same. My abuser, like many other abusers, would slam doors for the same reason he would punch or kick the wall, to let me know he was angry enough to use force and wanting to intimidate me. My case is not unique, again, i know many survivors of domestic violence who said door slamming was used to intimidate them, for their abuser to show off how angry they are.

I also think slamming a door is really different than punching or screaming into a pillow. Behind a closed door no one can hear or see you punching a pillow. But a slammed door is something the whole building can hear and feel. It's not a private action the way punching or screaming into a pillow is. And that's exactly why it's something so many abusers opt for, they want everyone in the house to hear the slam and feel the walls shaking, they want everyone in the house to know how angry they are, and to see and hear the physical force of their rage.

Years ago when I was still working food service a woman threw a tantrum at me because the kitchen got her order wrong, and when she stormed out of the building she slammed the door so hard that all the walls shook (it was an old wooden building in the historical downtown district of Reykjavík, not one of the newer concrete buildings). After that I had to dismiss myself down to the staff room to recover because it made me shake uncontrollably, since as mentioned, slamming doors is something my abuser would do when he would go into a rampage.

"but slamming a door is a way of expressing anger that's very much NOT directed at anyone in particular" you could say the same thing about punching the wall. Punching the wall is directed at the wall, not a human being, but punching the wall during a fight or conflict is still widely recognized as common behavior in abusers. Because even if the physical force is directed at an inanimate object, when done during an argument or conflict people (especially with abusive tendencies) will direct physical force at an inanimate object in front of whoever they're quarreling with as a way to try to scare / intimidate them. Slamming doors isn't an uncommon method of trying to scare or intimidate someone during a conflict. Good for you if you've never encountered this, but your experiences aren't universal.

That text post that's been making the rounds that goes something like "Omg you made it to the same red light as everyone else but faster and more dangerously and recklessly, should we call nascar? Do you want a medal?" summarizes exactly what I'm trying to talk about.

It's like when I have to change buses at one of the bigger and busier bus stops, and the people who get off the same bus as me shove and elbow past me to get off before me, and then shove and elbow past anyone even slightly in their way on the way to the bus they're switching to, only to end up on the same bus as all the people they shoved and elbowed, with several minutes to spare before it leaves and plenty of open seats left.

I think this unnecessary urgency a lot of people feel in their day to day lives drives a lot of bad behavior. I'm not saying I'm innocent of this (is anyone's?), I've felt it too in plenty of situations that didn't call for it, and regrettably was less kind than I should have been as a result. But I try to be aware of it, and always try to ask myself it it's really as urgent as my lizard brain is trying to tell me it is, and even if it was urgent, does that still justify unkind behavior?

Is shoving or elbowing another person aside going to make the difference between whether or not you make it to the bus before it pulls away? (hint: at least where I live, most of the time that's a no because the drivers usually won't leave if they see people from another bus heading towards their bus). Is shoving and elbowing people aside in a crowded grocery store going to make any real difference in how quickly you get your shopping done?

- Waiting in line at the store and the person behind you creeps closer and closer to try to pressure you forward, and ends up violating your personal space and making you uncomfortable, because they think creeping closer and pressuring the person in line in front of them will somehow get them through the line faster (it won't)

- Going through a self-serve buffet, and the person behind you keeps creeping closer and closer to try to pressure you to serve your food faster and get a move on. All it achieves is that you can't scoop your soup without elbowing them, and that's somehow your fault

- Crossing a crosswalk when the car waiting for you to cross creeps closer and closer to you to try to intimidate you into crossing faster (because using a 2 ton metal machine to try to intimidate a fleshy little ape you could easily kill with said 2 ton metal machine isn't acting like a bully at all no sir-ee)

- Honestly a huge heap of the poor treatment of service workers is also rooted in this sense of urgency in things that are not actually urgent

Not just getting on the same flight, but the majority of the time already having assigned seats! The plane isn't going to just pull away while passengers are still boarding, your seat will still be your seat, why the urgency?

People have always been like this in airports, and maybe I'm just noticing it more, but I feel like in the past few years this sense of urgency in airports has gotten worse. I get some people might be running late for their flight due to extenuating circumstances, but that doesn't excuse being rude. It's not fair to punish random strangers at the airport if you're running late for your flight. That's your problem, not theirs.

If it's really urgent and genuinely extenuating circumstances, then use your words ("I'm so sorry but I had a family emergency this morning so now I'm running really late for my flight, do you mind if I go ahead of you?") rather than push / shove / elbow / cut in line / violate other people's person space.

I can recall more than once having to stop and look around because I'd lost sight of my partner, and despite having *several meters* to go around me people would still walk right into me while glaring at me.

I made another post about "body checking" (this exact phenomenon of intentionally walking right into someone as a form of aggression) and someone in the notes also said this kept happening to them in Berlin, they'd stop for just a second to look at their map, and despite having plenty of room to go around people several heads taller than them would aggressively walk right into them and/or clip them.

Abortion isn't something that needs to be earned, it's not something a woman needs to learn a lesson from, it's a very necessary, life-saving medical procedure

Birth control has a lot of problems and we deserve better from it, but it has also changed the lives of countless women and gave us an option to control our own reproduction. It helps with symptoms of reproductive medical issues. It is a very necessary, life saving medicine