✨i put the fun in funeral ✨

SONIC'S IMPORTANT PSA

"Dogwhistles" are called that based on real "dog whistles", many of which are pitched too high to be audible to most humans, but are still perfectly audible to dogs.

how do draw good

this fucking post

the sausage i kept on my pillow molded (is that a word???) at some point

was it packaged at least?

did it have a name???

1. no

Very low chance that this will catch on, but I feel it is my duty to yoink this from the notes because this is way too funny

Enter OMEGA SPOON and BORED VOID, two FOOLS, accompanied by JESTERS as they walk through the town.  A few PEASANTS are gathered nearby, listening. SPOON Mold hath crept up upon me while I slept! How long a while it's shadowed my repose, I cannot say. VOID Take care, lest should also creep upon thee the temperament of the village ass. SPOON The mold is not black, 'tis white and gray. FIRST JESTER Pray tell, what’s this? SPOON The sausage that rests upon my pillow has succumbed to the corruption of mold.  I know not when, but it was cover’d well- by this we may assume some time has passed.  SECOND JESTER Prithee, say again, in what manner didst thou keep this sausage? VOID Didst thou preserve it in its casing?  By my accounting ‘tis good and right to let stay a thing on the pillow in sleep; So kept I the company of a stone for seven years. SPOON Aye, I did preserve it.  'Tis a summer sausage, well-wrapped. VOID Didst thou bestow a name on’t? Didst thou place upon it eyes of google, such that it could look upon thee in return?  I beg thee, wherefore? SPOON Nay, aye, and I do as I like. VOID Will you eat it? 'Tis a meal as any other. SPOON The fungus disturbs me. VOID Supper is supper, e'en be it touched by rot. Never have I fallen ill from spoilt victuals. SECOND JESTER You are both mad. SPOON On a separate accounting, yon peasant speaks; an ill portent. FIRST PEASANT (Aside to other peasants) It bewilders that so few are gathered here!  Saw I once a gath’ring of ten thousand who observed a contemplation of water, boiled. By my troth, this discourse doth too merit the admiration of the goodly people. They are here in seeming, if not yet in flesh.  Let it be so. More PEASANTS begin to arrive, merry. SPOON Nay! Let it not be so! VOID Knave, I forbid thee bring the rabble!  I was once trapped with "goodly" such who spoke but naught of toasting forks- By my head, I shall not repeat it. Several PEASANTS emerge from the growing crowd. SECOND PEASANT (Aside, to other peasants, but loudly to be heard by all) Ordinary folk speak of common things! How fares thy health? VOID I shall make a poor cup of thy skull. THIRD PEASANT Thou shouldst wed thy sausage, if it bring thee such joy. FOURTH PEASANT I summon the Master of Post Entities. Enter MASTER OF POST ENTITIES, and TALTALILY, the town crier. The FOOLS and JESTERS are lost within the crowd of peasants. MASTER OF POST ENTITIES Upon this post I do bestow the title of Corruption. Exit MASTER OF POST ENTITIES. TALTALILY Though sure my words will count for naught Duty binds me to convey this letter that I was given thence. LETTER OF BORED VOID Should ye persist repeating thus, beware, for I shall find ye, one and all And lost I shall become, and then I'll surely find ye once again. Woe! Woe! Exeunt, pursued by a sausage.