mental health nerd

every once in a while you need to eat something yummy. or go on a walk. or a trip to the zoo. take a hot shower. cry your eyes out. dance. listen to music. draw for way to long. write. laugh. sit in a cafe with a friend. paint your nails. dye your hair. go on a run. pet a cat

sometimes you need to do things that are cathartic or make yourself feel alive. sometimes you need the reminder of why you’re fighting so hard to stay alive

Everyone weighs their physical and mental/emotional health against one another in constantly shifting balance; inevitably, there are times when we choose to accept consequences to one for the sake of the other.

I also say “thanks for the update” or “thanks for the head’s up!”

“I really appreciate the head’s up!” also a classic

If I haven’t gotten back to someone in a swift enough period (i.e. one work day max) I say “thank you for your patience. after some consideration, I have decided…”

don’t apologize for piddly things! 

Thank you for waiting for me > sorry for being late

Thank you for helping me/for your time/for listening to me > sorry for bothering you

Thanking someone when they do you a favour > apologizing for your existence

i fucking love chihuahuas, man. i think there are a few factors involved, but i think the problem first and foremost is how chihuahuas are treated by humans.

chihuahuas are rarely allowed to be real dogs. they are treated like decorations and accessories and stuffed animals and cute little novelties

so not only are they rarely trained or thoughtfully socialized and taught to be comfortable with different things, but their autonomy and sense of personal safety is very often disregarded or intentionally threatened by the people around them

people pick them up with little consideration for the dog’s feelings, manhandle them at will and physically force them to comply with human desires. sometimes people intentionally antagonize them because they think it’s funny – for a while there was a very popular Tik Tok by some twenty-somethings dedicated to harassing and frightening an elderly, disabled chihuahua because he made funny noises when he was upset and uncomfortable.

it only stopped because the dog died.

the people responsible claimed to “love” the dog.

chihuahuas’ attempts to communicate discomfort are almost always ignored. dogs usually start out with relatively subtle body language that most people don’t ever learn to read. they might have the whites of their eyes showing, or yawn and lick their lips, or look away, or pin their ears down, or get tense. and when chihuahuas do this, it is almost always disregarded.

so they learn that polite and subtle communication of their discomfort gets ignored, and they start to escalate in an effort to be understood. they might start to growl or snap or bite. they might learn that the best defense is a good offense, that people who approach them are rude and frightening and the only way to get them to back off is to try and be intimidating.

and a lot of the time even that doesn’t work. because hey, look, the chihuahua is growling. isn’t that funny and cute and nonthreatening

there’s more involved but fundamentally at the end of the day, the issue is that chihuahuas are often profoundly mistreated for their entire little lives, psychologically and physically, with no way to communicate or be understood or have their boundaries and needs respected.

and as much as people have made ~aggressive chihuahuas~ into a funney meme, i think that’s fucking tragic.

Because little dogs can't do the same level of physical harm as bigger dogs, people tend to laugh off their very genuine distress and anger. It's absolutely not okay, and it's way too popular on social media.

Good article, but it again overlooks the harsh reality that for physically disabled people, most housing excludes them by default, including the cheaper rent housing in most cases.  Typically, even the majority of public housing will not be accessible for a wheelchair user, and the private rent market is even more stark.  Violations of the already inadequate ADA are constant, and the burden of trying to enforce it is put onto disabled people who are already struggling and lacking resources.

Most housing in the US is not wheelchair accessible, or accessible to people who cannot go up stairs all of the time.  You’re physically excluded from the beginning.

Whatever the baseline rent in a city is, people with mobility impairments almost always pay more and face a far, far starker housing shortage.  Take a quick look at places available for rent where you live and ask yourself how many of them are wheelchair accessible.  Not fucking many typically.  

People with mobility impairments, wheelchair users, etc. are excluded from most housing and most public spaces in the US.

Fuck, a lot of homeless shelters and domestic abuse shelters cannot be used by those with mobility impairments (and often other disabilities as well though in different ways), and owners have fought in court before to not have to even follow ADA regulations.  When shelter systems are evaluated, it’s common for not a single shelter in an entire city to meet ADA regulations.  And then unsheltered disabled people are subjected to increased police harassment as well.

If anyone asks “What radicalized you?” my answer is ⬆ this ⬆. We fought so damned hard to get the ADA passed, back in 1990. And when it went into effect in ‘91, I had genuine faith that the lives of ordinary Disabled folk would change for the better.

But then the fine print (written into the law in order to get Republican/Business support) became glaringly apparent, and kicked us all in the teeth, followed by the Business Lobby’s talking points getting parroted by mass media, about how lawyers for disabled people were lawsuit-happy, and exploiting the poor naive disabled people…

Chills. I can't imagine my own high school showing up like this less than a decade ago to protest disgusting legislation like Florida's Don't Say Gay bill. The support Gen Z shows for the LGBTQ community is breathtaking.

The kid who started the walkout at the original school was indefinitely suspended, even though he had permission for the demonstration (their excuse is that he got permission for the walkout, but not for the little Pride flags he handed out). Other participating kids at other schools have similarly been punished.

Teachers who supported students walking out are also being punished, fired, blacklisted from working at other schools.

Homophobic kids are ratting out their fellow students and teachers for supporting the walkout to get them in trouble with school administrations.

The consequences are continuing.