ManiacShipper

the communications team takes the ottawa centaurs to a baseball field to make a funny video for the fans showing if they’re good at any sports other than hockey. and all of them try to play, pitching and catching and hitting (i have no idea how to play this game im not from a country where this is popular so im just inspired by the hockey teams videos i saw on tiktok) and it’s a mess for most of them, they’re clearly hockey players who have never held a baseball in their lives. but then shane and ilya step up and just do everything perfectly, like they’ve been playing their whole lives and the final half of the video ends up being just them going against each other to see who can throw faster, who can hit farther, who can catch more accurately. of course they’re ridiculously competitive about it and the rest of the centaurs is just standing there watching like “okay we get it you’re both freaks”. and people on the internet get so annoyed (affectionately) “wtf why can they play everything?” and “are they even human?” and “of course they’re good at this too, of course”

the communications team takes the ottawa centaurs to a baseball field to make a funny video for the fans showing if they’re good at any sports other than hockey. and all of them try to play, pitching and catching and hitting (i have no idea how to play this game im not from a country where this is popular so im just inspired by the hockey teams videos i saw on tiktok) and it’s a mess for most of them, they’re clearly hockey players who have never held a baseball in their lives. but then shane and ilya step up and just do everything perfectly, like they’ve been playing their whole lives and the final half of the video ends up being just them going against each other to see who can throw faster, who can hit farther, who can catch more accurately. of course they’re ridiculously competitive about it and the rest of the centaurs is just standing there watching like “okay we get it you’re both freaks”. and people on the internet get so annoyed (affectionately) “wtf why can they play everything?” and “are they even human?” and “of course they’re good at this too, of course”

i understand (on paper) why companies are anti-piracy but its funny when random individuals are also strongly anti-piracy. like how does it negatively affect your life if someone you know downloads a cracked torrent of sims 4. you dont work for EA. EA isnt gonna pay you for this. you lose nothing. its fine. chill out.

I think there's a part of Shane that genuinely believes that when he finishes his last game, they will take him out back and shoot him like a sick dog.

chaotic ilya hc i feel like he’s the type of guy to assume that the other person is gonna hang up the phone when they’re done talking so one time he takes a call while he’s with shane in Secret could be sveta he says “okaie bye” and puts his phone down on the couch and pulls shane back into his lap like “sorry moy pomidor you were saying?” and shane gets back to his rant about something hockey-related and sveta’s just on the other line gobsmacked at what she’s overhearing so she hangs up the phone and calls ilya back and ilya answers and before he can say anything sveta’s like “ilya is that shane hollander with you also why are you calling him a tomato” and ilya very quickly learns that his actions have consequences and sveta’s just dying on the other end of the call

unfortunate truth of reality is that oftentimes 15 year olds will say/do/believe some stupid bullshit because they are 15 but telling them that they believe that because they are 15 is probably the most counterproductive thing in the entire universe

After Shane and Ilya get married Ilya is so happy to finally change his pfp to be one of him and Shane. To piss Ilya off Hayden also changes his pfp to him and Shane. Cue different NHL players slowly changing their pfp to photos of them and Shane. It basically becomes and unspoken trend that when you enter the NHL you need to get a photo with Shane Hollander to change your pfp as a right of passage.

at one point harris does an insta post for the local animal shelter like "all of them think theyre lap dogs" and its several slides of like a great dane and several pitbulls and a giant mastiff sitting on ppl and the last pic is of ilya sitting on shanes lap during one of boods bbqs

ilya saying things that are blatantly untrue just to see shane’s cuteiful reaction where his big brown eyes go all wide and sparkle and he’s like “really? no way!” and then getting horny when his eyes get all betrayed and he furrows his eyebrows and pouts “fuck you ilya.”