For a fandom were one of the main characters is bisexual there sure it a lot of biphobia going around
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@bees-reads
For a fandom were one of the main characters is bisexual there sure it a lot of biphobia going around

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Yuna showing Ilya photos of little baby Shane and they get to a photo of a naked two year old Shane grinning at the camera, shirt held up in his triumphant chubby fist. Yuna smiles and tells him how hard it was to keep clothes on Shane and that he’d rip them off whenever they weren’t looking. Without thinking Ilya says “so not much has changed, huh?” and then freezes because he can’t believe he just said that in front of his boyfriend’s mom until Yuna laughs so hard she spills her wine.
I fully believe that Ilya has unironically said to Shane “not here, kitten whiskers. Daddy will discuss it later”
And Shane doesn’t know whether he is turned on or if he wants to shrivel up and die
Rolex invites Shane to the Royal Box at Wimbledon again and this time Shane accepts because Rolex specifically asked if he could bring his husband as well and fuck yes he can and together Ilya and Shane are ready to serve so much cunt. They both get dressed in some sharp, elevated summer suits, Ilya in Versace and Shane in Gucci, the dramatic sunglasses & the bitchiest, judgiest mogging are ON, they mirror each other as they cross their legs; occasionally they're holding hands or sit with Ilya's arm around Shanes waist, they are the epitome of power husbands & this is their playground. Do they have one clue what is going on on the court? Of course not. That doesn't stop them from having a fabulous time showing off each other. They know they steal the limelight looking as devastating as they do, together. Turns out these dreadful PR appointments are actually incredible fun when you have your husband/best friend / soulmate with you and Shane can't imagine how he ever did this without Ilya.
Now picture this, occasionally they whisper into each other's ears, sometimes its just sweet nothigns and sometimes it's some devastating chirps about tennis, and each time a precious smile breaks through, only for each other, but it drives the photographers wild.
(afterwards, Ilya is excited to have the perfect summer with Shane where they fuck their way across europe)
whenever someone draws shane hollander as a twink… describes his muscles as anything but bulging …. his cock as anything but thick and girthy… an angel loses its wings

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As a child Ilya did’t talk much. He was a very quiet kid. He observed the world with his sharp blue eyes, noticing things that others normally overlooked. But he stayed quiet.
Shane on the other hand talked a mile a minute. He was always babbling and bubbling about one thing or another. He was a yapper.
As they got older, Ilya realised that it’s simpler to hide in the spot light and that it’s easier to get away with things when he’s loud. It’s whole another kind of invisibility, hiding in plain sight, everyone sees him, believes they know him, but they only know the parts he allows them to see.
Shane became quiet. He figured out that people didn’t want to listen. He understood people find him more likabke when he’s quiet. So he keeps his thoughts to himself, doesn’t talk, doesn’t make people uncomfortable by having too much information to share and not knowing when to shut up.
Fast forward to the cottage. They’re sitting on the couch, Shane’s legs in Ilya’s lap as he waves in arms around, talking excitedly about something. And Ilya, Ilya just listens. He doesn’t interrupt him, doesn’t tell him to stop talking. He enjoys not having to be the one talking for once, actually. There’s a small smile dancing across his lips as he listens to his boyfriend (boyfriend!!!) yap about beavers, their importance for the ecosystem and how they became the national animal of Canada.
It’s a beautiful day.
“i want shows with more women” deadloch “i want women who are complex and diverse” deadloch “i want women who are gross and weird” deadloch “i want women who are fucking gay” deadloch!!
Concept:
Ilya does love seeing old photos of Shane. Fat Baby Shane™ in all his forms, toddler Shane in his little hockey gear, Shane in elementary school with a big missing-teeth smile, Shane blowing out the candles on his 10th birthday, Shane holding up his brand new driver's license at 16. The list goes on.
One day Yuna finds an old disposable camera. The expiration date on it says 2009. She tells Shane about it; it might have some old photos from his graduation on it or something. She'd gotten a digital camera around that time so she can't remember what she used this one for. Shane is pretty indifferent about it.
Yuna sends the camera off to some company that still develops old camera film. It's about 15 years old at this point, though, so whatever is on it might not even develop correctly.
A few weeks later Shane and Ilya are over for dinner. Yuna tells them she got the photos back and they actually turned out ok. She hands over the stack of 10 photos. Shane rolls his eyes, but Ilya grabs the photos and starts flipping through them. The first two look like they are from some school event; there's Shane surrounded by similarly aged kids in an auditorium. There's one of the three of them on Thanksgiving that year and another of the three of them with Yuna's parents at the same dinner. Two of David asleep on the couch with the family dog clearly taken on different days. One of a Christmas tree in the Hollander's living room. The next two are Shane on the ice in a rink that Ilya recognizes as the one in Regina. The one from their first World Juniors Tournament.
And Ilya freezes. The last photo in the stack is a close-up of Shane. He's in a white hoodie with a black coat over it. He has on a dark green beanie and he's standing next to the door to the rink. He's smiling for the camera and his freckles are crinkled near his eyes. It's the Shane that so awkwardly and so confidently introduced himself to Ilya the first time they met. The Shane that had tried so hard to talk to Ilya then. The Shane that Ilya could admit to himself now that he'd had a bit of a crush on already. His Shane.
His Shane was getting blurry as tears filled his eyes.
Pre-outing both Shane and Ilya get invited on lip sync battle as rivals. Ilya obviously agrees immediately whereas Shane is very unsure about the idea. So in typical Ilya fashion he teases Shane about how he knows he won’t win against him and Shane folds immediately agreeing to do the show.
Ilya obviously bodies the fuck out of his performance. He uses all his best club moves and lip syncs his lil heart out to Ariana Grande or a very popular Slavic rap song. His performance is so good that everyone thinks he’s got it in the bag, there’s no way Shane is going to top that he might as well just go home now.
That is until Tom Holland fucking Jr comes out in a full Liza Minnelli outfit the waistcoat, shorts, garters, bowler hat, wig and even blue eye shadow and gives the most sultry performance of Mein Herr there has every been. It’s safe to say Shane makes Ilya eat his words.
After Shane takes a photo with the girls from the aquarium they post it online mentioning how he was there with his baby.
The post gets a bit of traction and eventually the media gets a hold of it.
At his next press conference one of the reporters decided to bring it up.
Reporter: Shane do you have any comment about the recent post showing you on a family outing with a baby?
Shane: uhhh, baby?
R: yes at the aquarium
S: oh you mean Arthur?
R: yes, sure. Do you have comment on who the mother of the child is?
S: Jackie
R: Jackie Pike?
S: yeah???
Obviously the internet explodes discussing how the Shane Hollander has just admitted to having an affair with his best friend’s wife that resulted in a baby! Until Shane had to clarify that he isn’t the father of the child, he was just fulfilling his uncle duties that day.
Hayden also had to say that he was *with Shane* at the time the photo was taken and that the girls asked him to hold “Shane’s baby” so that they could take a photo him with. The Shayden shippers are very satisfied by this and now have enough content to keep them going for 3-5 years.

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My low stakes heated rivalry headcanon is that Shane 100% had a brief cameo in Crazy Rich Asians. Like maybe he was on a poster or a billboard in the background, or they briefly show one of his commercials or post-game interviews where he’s all sweaty and handsome
hi hi hi!!
what cartoon character reminds you most of Ilya Rozanov? Shane Hollander?
Ugh it feels like such a cop out answer to say Snoopy and Woodstock but they’re literally them!!
I’ve also seen them as Pompompurin and Chococat which is absolutely adorable 😩
Baby Shane's first word was fuck.
David gave himself a cramp laughing about it. Yuna was at first horrified but then also amused.
Later, they tell people it was puck.
I know a lot of you are fans of the Ilya has trouble getting hard/achieving orgasm on his meds headcanon. And I agree, there are sooo many delicious fics and headcanons based on this (but if I‘m honest I don’t trust Miss R with the intricacies of this dynamic and would rather it didn’t appear in book 3…but I digress)
But have you considered: Ilya can’t drink on his meds.
Imagine them at the club after their first cup win with the Centaurs. Shane is absolutely wasted, having the time of his life, and Ilya is also having the time of his life stone cold sober, cause he gets to see his husband let loose and then afterwards he gets to drive him home and bridal carry him to bed and feed him a glass of water and make him a greasy breakfast the next morning because Shane is hungover. Like, that is his baby!
Imagine the Centaurs at the barbecue passing around a blunt and Shane looks kinda interested actually. He has been depriving himself his whole life, he kinda wants to try. So obviously Ilya can read this on his face and is like: Shanya you can try. I will take care of you, don‘t worry I‘m here. So then Ilya gets to witness Shane getting high for the first time and Shane is absolutely trying to crawl into Ilya‘s skin in front of god and everybody and every single one of the Centaurs. Shane and Harris both get the munchies so now they are standing in Bood‘s kitchen a little after midnight arguing over how to make apple pie. Harris is like: I‘m the king of apples! I know this! And Shane is like: Well. I have never baked anything in my entire life but I‘m still pretty sure I am correct. And then they are both giggling and shoving each other and they end up covered in flour. And Ilya is standing in the kitchen doorway arms crossed stone cold sober, has never been more lucid and present, and thinks: this is the best moment of my life. Like, he keeps complaining to Shane that he misses Vodka, but he doesn‘t. He would not trade this for anything and he knows Shane only lets loose 100% because he trusts Ilya to protect and take care of him.
And then the next morning Ilya wakes Shane with little kisses on his face like: Good Morning Shanya *kiss* can you tell me *kiss* why is there so much flour *kiss* in my car? Hm? *kiss* It‘s all over the seats? *kiss* any idea how that happened? *kiss*
And Shane is like: *grumble grumble* Shut uuuuup *hits him with a pillow*

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shane would "he asked for no pickles. ☝️" and ilya would love it. not because he can't stand up for himself or any of that (he most certainly can; hes the worlds most brash and obnoxiously confident man <3) but because no one's ever stood up for him before. obvi its small scale and over a mistake, but ilya eats it up every time. and shane loves it bc he loves to take care of his baby even if they both know ilya is more than capable of doing this himself
The day Ilya discovered UK drill music it’s over for Shane. He hears “how can I be homophobic, my bitch is gay” at least 20 times a day.