listen, idk if this matters to anyone else but when they play Mario Kart, Shane is always Mario and Ilya is always Princess Peach
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
noise dept.

shark vs the universe

romaâ
Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
occasionally subtle
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Mike Driver
wallacepolsom

$LAYYYTER

cherry valley forever
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@lesbianalumni
listen, idk if this matters to anyone else but when they play Mario Kart, Shane is always Mario and Ilya is always Princess Peach

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tbh myshane doesn't like when ilya calls him "Hollander." It takes him back to those early days, but not in a good way. soooOOooo here is switchy shane becoming a power bottom over being called "Hollander" one too many times.
Shane matches Ilyaâs roughness and leaves a trail of little bites and hickeys down his neck. He uses his fingernails to dig parallel lines on Ilyaâs pecs, watching the skin turn white then red under his movement. He licks the manâs abs and then bites hard enough to leave an indent the shape of his four front teeth.Â
This seems to wake something within Ilya, who flips them over in a flash and brings his own mouth down against Shaneâs neck, sucking and biting and moaning into the warm skin.Â
Ilya presses their bodies together, their cocks rutting and spreading the pre-cum leaking between them. Then itâs the normal wind-up, lube and condoms and fingers and moans and âokay please Iâm ready please.âÂ
The moment Ilya thrusts inside of him, he lets out a deep, âFuuuck, Hollander,â and Shane stills. Itâs the third time Ilya has called him by his last name in as many days.Â
âStop,â Shane says, and of course Ilya does. He pulls out and looks concerned.Â
âEverything okay?â Ilya asks, his brow furrowed.Â
âLay down,â Shane demands, gesturing toward the bed. Ilya complies.Â
Shane uses the headboard for stability as he straddles Ilya and then sinks down onto his hard cock. He groans at the pressure. âYou canât-â Shane starts, gathering his thoughts. The clash of anger with horniness is making his brain spin. âYou canât fuck me while calling me that. Okay? Iâm not Hollander to you.âÂ
âShane,â Ilya moans immediately, the name sounding so perfect on his tongue.Â
Shane grinds his hips down, rewarding Ilya for correcting himself. âExactly,â he says. He sinks down until he can practically see the tip of Ilyaâs cock through his own abdomen, so full of him, so content. When he looks down, Ilyaâs eyes are pressed shut in a blissful expression, his arms tense as he holds Shaneâs hips and helps him thrust. Shane uses his own hands to take Ilyaâs off of him and pin them against the headboard.Â
âYou can call me slut,â Shane moans, filling himself up over and over again with Ilya. âOr cumslut, or baby, or hole.â He moves faster, thrilled at the control he has at this moment. âBut not my fucking last name. Okay, Rozanov?âÂ
Ilya nods, his eyes still shut. His moans and the way heâs jerking his hips, the only part of his body in his own control right now, confirm that heâs enjoying this little switch up.Â
âLook at me,â Shane demands.Â
And Ilya finally opens his wide blue eyes, filled to the brim with lust. âFuck, Shane,â he moans as they stare at each other, their bodies moving in tandem.Â
âLook me in the eyes while you cum inside me,â Shane says. His hands are still holding Ilyaâs arms down, but he moves one to cup the other manâs face. Itâs not long before Ilya is crying out, his cock pulsing in a way that makes Shane spill all over Ilyaâs stomach. Read the full fic this is from on AO3
Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 18/25ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10
The day in Honolulu goes by in a haze. Ilya is riding the high of his helicopter ride, his body buzzing like itâs still beneath the giant rotors and soaring through the clouds. The excursion for the day is a walking tour through a farmerâs market where he eats more varieties of fruit than he ever knew existed, including one that looks disgusting but tastes like ice cream.Â
The tiny thoughts of wishing he could share this experience with Hollander are easier to shake. He is sharing the experience with himself, and for once that feels like enough.Â
Hundreds of stalls in the market sell so many unique foods that he wishes he could have ten more stomachs just to try it all. There are drying hot chili peppers hung from the stands, alongside hanging bushels of bananas. The bowls of fruit are endless, overflowing with offerings like mangoes and apples and so many others he doesnât know the name of. Luckily, the excursion includes a sampling menu, giving him small bites of nearly everything. The grilled chicken skewers are coated in sweeter barbecue sauce that gets all over his face and he drinks fresh coconut water directly from the shell. He eats a bite of white fish that is so flaky it crumbles on his tongue. He tries a rubbery sliver of conch and instantly regrets it.Â
He lingers in a large crowd standing in front of a large older man playing a rendition of the song âHallelujahâ on the ukulele and smiles as he bites into a juicy, round stone fruit heâll never know the name of. Itâs bliss.Â
[fic clip from shane and ilya falling in love on a four-month cruise around the world, in an AU where Ilya's not in the NHL]
[minor spoilers if you're reading along on tumblr and not AO3]
âTake my picture?â Shane asks. âJust make sure the ship is in it.â He poses with his drink. Their boat is in the background and Ilya moves the camera to get everything in one frame. Heâd been informed about Shaneâs need to post photos from the trip, and received a short lesson on how to get the angles right when Shane had him take photos of him on the balcony of their room. Shane always looked adorably nerdy, smiling directly to the camera in a fake way and not knowing what to do with his hands except put them in his pockets or on his hips.Â
Ilya snaps a couple dozen, wanting to give him plenty of options, then turns himself and the camera around, taking a selfie with Shane in the background. He looks at it and smiles.Â
âI think thatâs our first photo together,â Shane says.
âOh, wow,â Ilya hadnât considered that. âIt is.â Why does that make him sad?Â
âWe should take more,â Shane concludes immediately. He takes Ilyaâs phone and presses it into the wet sand, tilting it up so that the camera can see their full bodies. He sets it to âphoto blastâ to take a bunch at once, along with a five-second timer.Â
Once theyâre lined up in frame, Ilya puts an arm around Shane, who in turn tilts his head toward Ilya. As the timer goes off, though, a large wave creeps up and knocks the phone over. It slides down the sand before Ilya grabs it.Â
âOh fuck,â Shane gasps.Â
âItâs okay, I have waterproof case,â Ilya pulls it out from the water and shows him the thick box his phone is kept in. âI kept breaking phones while on runs and whatever.â He wipes the sand off on his shirt and opens the photo app.Â
They look through the slideshow together and laugh. You can see their faces drop into fear when the water creeps into the frame, and then itâs nothing but the sky and a corner of Shaneâs head as they run toward the phone.Â
Ilya scrolls back to the very first photo of the set, pre-catastrophe. Both of them are beaming into the camera. Ilya has never seen what his adult face looks like with such a genuine smile on it before.Â
Ilya looks up from his book. Shane has his legs strewn over Ilya's knees, lying back on the couch they bought for the cottage's back patio. The chairs and loveseat that had been here previously hadn't allowed them to get comfy and close enough for long, lazy summer afternoons like this.
"How many hours do you think we have spent kissing?" he asks.
Shane scrunches his face. "Why?"
"A thousand?" Ilya suggests, ignoring the question.
"Maybe." Shane sets to actually calculating it. They're been married for three years, after three years of dating and about ten of... whatever they were doing before that. There are some days when they probably kiss for hours, slow makeouts that aren't even leading to sex. Other days, their sex is hungry and fast and they kiss through it, equaling at least thirty minutes of lip-to-lip contact. 3 years of living together is over a thousand days, so if you were to average itâ
"Five thousand?" Ilya interrupts Shane's train of thought.
"Maybe. That sounds like a lot."
"Is not enough, though," Ilya shrugs. "We need ten thousand."
"Says who?" Shane laughs and moves his right foot to gently poke Ilya's stomach.
"Says me. And Malcolm Gladwell," he holds up his book and then reads directly from it. "In order to achieve true mastery in a field, you must dedicate ten thousand hours of practice to it."
Shane rolls his eyes. "You're an expert at kissing, I promise."
"No, science does not agree," Ilya sets the book down on the wicker table next to him and moves Shane's legs so he can climb on top of his husband. "Let's add one more hour now," he says as he brings their mouths together, and the promise of five thousand more hours of this glows like a ray of sunlight in Shane's chest.

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Anyway here's Ilya experiencing queer joy because it's Pride Weekend in my city <3 [fic clip from Cruising, Ilya goes dancing with his out queer friend Benny]
Ilya has only ever listened to Lady Gaga music while working out, never around other people. The bold, pro-LGBTQ themes in her newest album, Born This Way, plummeted her reputation in Russia and he had to commit a minor crime just to get her songs onto his iPod.
Itâs therefore doubly magical to get to dance to her music with Benny and Shane. It makes the lyrics of the albumâs title song ring that much harder in his heart. Being around Benny, who is so unabashedly queer and unafraid to show it, provides something for Ilya that he never knew he was missing.Â
He feels at once connected to every other queer person in this world, and in the history of this world, like heâs a small part of the ongoing (seemingly eternal) battle for acceptance, fighting on the frontlines with millions of comrades instead of all alone. Images of Stonewall from the 1960s and the AIDS crisis and the brave protests heâs seen on Russian television of queer people demanding change flash in front of his brain. He is here, looking visibly queer, unafraid for once in his life to be seen like this. He is part of something so much bigger than himself.Â
During the lyric âNo matter gay, straight, or bi,â Benny points to himself for âgayâ and to Ilya for âbiâ and they both laugh. Ilya wants to find every single queer club in the world and dance to this song over and over again with his people. He wants to buy the faggiest clothes he can find and strut all over Europe in them, a cigarette in his mouth and Shane on his arm.Â
How had he not known it could be like this?Â
The music ends and Ilya wipes tears from his cheeks. Read the whole fic on A03 (18/25ish chapters)
Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 18/25ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9
Ilya figures he has two options: he can sulk about this information, returning to his depressive cave, or he can accept it and move on. He chooses neither and both.Â
That is to say, he forges on with his cruise routine as though nothing is happening, but the heaviness in his chest lingers without reprieve. He tells himself that he cannot let one person ruin this experience that cost almost his entire life savings. Plus, if he is really going to find the things that make him want to stay firmly in this present reality, on this planet that only seems to throw him hardships, it cannot boil down to one single human being.Â
Using Hollander as his âreasonâ would be the worst idea of all time. He knows this from reading therapy books and watching American romcoms to brush up on his English. He also knows this by the simple fact of having a brain: all logic tells him that itâd be needy and gross to rely on Hollander as his sole purpose.Â
Heâd love for Hollander to have been one of his reasons, but that is beside the point.Â
and if you're not getting off to your fic who will?
u should be Bricked Up while writing
[Fic clip from my WIP â OR Hollanov try to see if they can recognize each other's cocks because they really are just two boys] "I would recognize that dick anywhere,â Ilya whispers into his ear.Â
âThereâs nothing recognizable about it!â Shane protests, sitting up.
âHollanderrrr your dick is so pretty,â Ilya teases as he flips over on the bed and straddles Shane.Â
âYou wouldnât be able to pick it out in a lineup,â Shane challenges, kissing Ilya on the collarbone and moving their bodies together.Â
Thatâs how their evening plans are decided. Shane and Ilya each create a photo album of five dick pics, all collected from old conversations on Grindr or semi-embarrassing Google searches. Ilya finds one that he took of himself a few months ago to send to one of his longer-term hookups. The only thing in the background is a white comforter, not enough to give it away as his own apartment. Not that Shane has seen the place anyway.Â
âYou first,â Shane says, handing his phone to Ilya with the album pulled up. After careful scrutiny, Ilya lands on the third one in the lineup. He thinks Shane would put his own right in the center, as a way to reverse-psychology Ilya out of picking it since thatâs the obvious placement. Plus, there is something so Shane about the cock, something he cannot explain.Â
âThis,â Ilya says, holding it up.Â
Shane frowns, confirming that Ilyaâs answer is right. âYouâve got to be fucking kidding me.âÂ
Ilya beams. His smile pulls his cheeks so high he can barely see Shaneâs angry face because they blur his vision. âI told you!â he brags.Â
âLet me try,â Shane grabs Ilyaâs phone. He carefully deliberates, swiping between the photos over and over again.Â
âThis is less fun,â Ilya says. âYou are looking at so many hard cocks.âÂ
âJealous?â Shane looks up and meets his eyes, clearly excited at the idea.Â
âNo, of course not. Look at all the hard cocks you want. I do not care,â Ilya puts his hands up. He slowly makes his way to Shane and pulls the other manâs pants down, then moves his mouth over his half-hard dick through his boxers.Â
âCheater,â Shane says, not pulling away. âTrying to distract me.âÂ
âMaybe you need a reminder of what youâre looking for,â Ilya says, standing up and taking his own clothing off.Â
Shaneâs jaw drops. âCome here,â he says, putting the phone on the nightstand.Â
Ilya straddles him and pushes their hardening cocks together. He pulls Shaneâs boxers down and off so both of them are naked on the bed together, then starts kissing Shane hungrily, opening his entire mouth to take Shaneâs in.
Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 16/20ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8
Ilya thinks he is maybe, probably, dying. His chest is caving in and his breath is nowhere to be found. He decides this must be what Americans call a âpanic attackâ and what Russians call âa sign itâs time for another shot.âÂ
Shane Hollander had sought him out, followed him downstairs, and all but admitted he was indeed the Grindr guy all along, confirming suspicions Ilya had from early on. He should be relieved, happy, joyful. He should be on top of Hollander right now, making the Canadian so flustered he forgets both French and English.Â
Instead, Ilyaâs heart has a weird darkness growing inside of it.Â
He had slipped into his dominant personality the way that heâd slip into his Russian accent if he tried speaking any other way. Dominating was familiar and easy and made his romantic encounters feel transactional. He hadnât ever had sex without the dom/sub formula. It was just who he was in the bedroom.Â
But that kind of domination cannot coexist with friendship. Itâs safe only with one night stands and meaningless hookups. Heâs never imagined having something more with someone he dominates.Â
Ilya is stuck instead with an embarrassment of riches: choosing between Hollander as a friend or Hollander as a sub. And itâs barely a choice. He knows he would take another smiley, adventurous minute in the back of the rickshaw over a hundred sexting conversations. Hollander the friend was warm, and made Ilya excited for the morning just to have the chance of seeing him. Hollander the sub was simply another person who would use Ilya until he met someone he was ready to take seriously, and then he would end their kink relationship and Ilya would be left alone. Again.Â

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When They Fell (Hollanov cottage one-shot)
Ilya moves so his head is next to Shaneâs, their eyes meeting. âWhen did it become love? For you?â he asks so simply, a tender plea. Read it on AO3
After a week of perfect weather in Shaneâs cottage, the sky cracks open and the lake turns a dark, eerie gray, littered with white caps that always make him worried for the loons. The pitter patter of rain creates a symphony on the copper roof â Shaneâs favorite side effect of the durable, weather-ready material â and Ilya whines like a dog missing his afternoon walk.
âI want to go innnn,â he groans, still wearing his swim trunks from the morning.Â
Shane pulls up his weather app, the one he pays $20 a month for just to get hyper-local updates for the cottage. He sighs. âItâs like this for the next twelve hours.âÂ
Ilya groans more. âSo, what, 2am? We will skinny dip?âÂ
Shane actually considers it for a split second before his logic kicks in. âAbsolutely not.â
Ilya gives up too easily, which Shane knows to mean he will come back to this later. âFine,â Ilya says, taking the towel off of his shoulders and turning to face Shane. âBut if I cannot be inside lake, can I please be inside you?âÂ
Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 15/20ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7
Shane is more relieved than expected once heâs finally off the ship and at the small Mexican town for their next port.Â
Memories of past trips to the coast of Mexico flash through his mind. His parents took him here when he was 12 â an all-inclusive stay in Cabo San Lucas. Later, for Spring break during his first year on the team, a few of the older guys convinced everyone to spend a week in Puerto Vallarta to âbondâ (read: get drunk and party together). Those two memories didnât really do the place justice.Â
Itâs much more green than Shane had remembered, covered in palm trees and mangroves and so many different types of succulents. The beach seems more like a natural occurrence, its sand darker and grittier compared to the soft white grains heâd once played in at some pristine five-star hotelâs backyard.Â
He had been remembering Mexico as the place that gave him his first ever really bad sunburn, after his dad had taken him to a surf lesson. He hadnât realized the importance of putting sunscreen on the backs of his legs before spending a day on his stomach atop a surfboard. As one might imagine, a burn on the back of each leg made it hard to bend his knees, so he had hobbled around the resort for the rest of the vacation, sucking down virgin strawberry daiquiris in the hopes that cooling his throat and mouth would somehow allow him to forget about the heat that was emanating from his hamstrings.Â
His later associations with Mexico were far more connected to drinking light beer with lime at a pool bar and dodging inflatable basketballs that his teammates, forever on the hunt for another way to compete physically, had thrown back-and-forth for hours, ignoring all else the country had to offer.Â
But now, the small cruise ship seems to prioritize a more authentic and less watered down view of the country. Shane can appreciate that. His excursion for the stop is a tour of a chocolate factory that grows their own cacao on an old Mexican plantation. The bus taking him inland to the site is full of the semi-familiar faces of elderly people heâs seen in the hallways. He finds himself looking around for Rozanov, but knows it would be against the odds for them to have booked the same thing three times in a row. He doesnât admit, as he searches for dark blond curls in the sea of graying bobs and bald spots, that he was genuinely hoping Rozanov would be there to accompany him.Â
The entire tour, he also ignores the part of his brain that posits what Ilya would be thinking of the beautiful tiles lining the building and the lush, colorful cacao plants. He starts unintentionally staging fake conversations with the man in his head without realizing it â inventing quips Rozanov might have made about the precarious-looking raw beans or imagining Rozanov lighting up at the smell of roasting chocolate. When the tour guide allows them each to taste a fresh truffle, he wishes he could save a bite to bring to Rozanov without it being weird. When the older woman in front of him asks if she can buy some pods to take home, and the tour guide has to explain customs and immigration rules, he imagines sharing a secret smirk with Rozanov. And, on the bus ride back, Shane even lets himself imagine sitting next to Rozanov, their thighs touching on the gray bus seats the way they had in the rickshaw.Â
But he absolutely does not admit to himself how much of his day is spent simply imagining Rozanov.Â
He also does not admit to himself, later that night, that his real intention for finally attending one of the piano bar soirees is in the hopes of getting to see the other man and maybe even hearing about what heâd done at the port. Maybe theyâd even compare their days in some kind of friendly way that showcased they actually wanted to know how the other was enjoying the trip. Read more on AO3 [this is one of my very favorite chapters and it made me smile re-reading it to post here lol]
Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 14/20ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6
The rest of the week consists of four consecutive at-sea days, and Ilya is surprised he doesnât run into Hollander at all. Well, heâs mostly surprised to learn that Hollander must not be eating any of the 24/7 soft serve ice cream available in the dining room. Ilya frequents the machine, arriving about once an hour to make a little concoction of chocolate ice cream and rainbow sprinkles that he consumes in fewer than 10 bites. And at no time during his frequent visits does he spot Hollander coming or going.
He makes a mental note that he should encourage the man to eat more ice cream now that theyâre friends.
On the second at-sea day, the ship travels through the Panama Canal, which Ilya quickly realizes is less cool than it sounds. The cool part actually comes in when Benny gives him a full tour of the ship, including areas that Ilya hadnât known existed.
The very bottom floor, the one below Ilya, is the staff quarters. The ceilings there are considerably lower and itâs mostly dark due to the fact that the entire section is underwater at almost all times. The red and gold carpeting that looks a bit ornate but still chic on the upper floors seems gaudy under the dim fluorescent lighting here.
At the very bow of the ship, on this floor, there is a small staff lounge with drinks and snacks and a television. A group of line cooks are loudly watching a soccer game on the tiny box of a TV, and Ilya is thankful it isnât hockey. He also gets a peek at Bennyâs room, which is somehow even smaller than his own space. He didnât think it was possible to make a shower even tinier.
Up two floors, Benny takes Ilya into a large, bright piano room. There are pastel leather chairs and white marble tables scattered all around. At the center is a small, wooden stage with a white grand piano.
Benny plays a few notes of âChopsticksâ and a group of elderly women playing Mah Jongg look up, hopeful for a show.
âSorry, ladies,â he says to their disappointed faces when they see him move from the bench. âIâm too rusty to be any good.â
Benny shuffles faster to get out of the room. Ilya makes another mental note to return later or try to find some kind of show schedule.
On their final stop of the abridged tour, Benny takes him to something called the âCrowâs Nest.â Itâs a little area just above the gym. Ilya had never even noticed the small, separate staircase along the back entrance of the gym that leads to the space above the captainâs control center.
âYou are taking me to get murdered,â Ilya huffs as he climbs the stairs.
âYou would be so lucky,â Benny teases.
âNot my kind of kink,â Ilya quips.
He laughs when he catches his first glimpse of the room. Throughout the rest of the boat, thereâs a subtle â almost unnoticeable â lack of nautical decor. Anchors, sails, ropes⊠anything that would remind the passengers they are out on the ocean, seems to be forgotten about. But in the Crowâs Nest, theyâre everywhere, as though the design team was sequestering them just for this.
Each of the ten or so tables in the area is shaped like a large steering youâd use for a ship, with eight pointy wooden handles that seem quite annoying to move around. The carpeting is navy blue with little white anchors. The walls are covered in nautical flags, the ones Ilya learned help sailors communicate various precautions or pleas (Paula did a deep dive on the topic yesterday morning at the gym when Ilya spotted some on her water bottle.)
Benny pours them each a glass of Diet Coke and gets a large bag of salt and vinegar chips from the small pantry room connected to the bar. âThis is the best place to come when you want a view,â he explains, gesturing to the giant window nearby that offers an almost 180-degree view from the front of the ship.
Read more on AO3
Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 14/20ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5
The two days at sea after their Puerto Rico stop go by quickly. Ilya is busier than he expected to be: he has his 9am workouts with Paula, where they talk about travel and teach each other words from their respective languages; heâs committed to taking long, luxurious lunches to make sure he eats enough of the expensive food to make up for the cost of the room; and heâs started to linger around the pool, sometimes reading and sometimes floating, while observing the rest of the guests. Sure, he's avoiding alone time like the plague (per usual), but at least he's having fun doing so.Â
He even learned how to play Blackjack from an old man named Ron last night. That had cost him one of his remaining $50 bills that he should have saved for tipping or eating at the excursions, but the thrilling hope of flipping the right card tugged him into a minor financial downfall. He decides he will not allow himself back into the gambling game tables unless a sugar daddy is financing his plays.Â
Heâs so busy exploring the ship and learning about whatâs to come on this adventure, racking up some simple reasons to throw his mint box of pills overboard, that he nearly forgets about Hollander.Â
Okay, thatâs a lie. He looks for Hollander in every room he enters, hopeful that they will cross paths again. But he knows he cannot pursue the man too openly after coming on strongly during snorkeling. He needs for their next encounter to be by chance, and somehow that chance keeps not occurring.Â
Instead, Ilya decides to begin making more friends so that he can continue his mission of making a better life for himself. Luckily, a few people on the ship seem just as motivated to make friends, probably for more wholesome reasons than his own.Â
On the second evening of the sea days, a chiseled Black man slips into the hot tub next to Ilya with a frozen pina colada in either hand. He offers one out to Ilya, who takes it with a smile.Â
âIâm Benny,â the man says, even though Ilya already knows this from the staff presentation and multiple other announcements the guy has made.Â
âIlya,â he says, accepting the drink with a smile.Â
âThereâs nothing better than drinking something frozen while in a hot tub,â Benny says. âI wanted to introduce you to the joy of the experience, too.âÂ
âVery kind of you,â Ilya nods as he takes a sip. It is, indeed, amazing to have the two sensations at once: the fierce cold sends a freeze over his mouth, up to his brain and down his throat, while his legs and lower stomach enjoy the almost-too-hot warmth of the tub.Â
âWhat made you choose this cruise? I always wonder how people find themselves able to escape life for three months.â Benny takes another sip and kicks his feet around a bit between them, playfully.Â
âNothing to escape from,â Ilya shrugs. âI have nothing going on. And there was a really good deal.âÂ
When They Fell (Hollanov cottage one-shot)
Ilya moves so his head is next to Shaneâs, their eyes meeting. âWhen did it become love? For you?â he asks so simply, a tender plea. Read it on AO3
After a week of perfect weather in Shaneâs cottage, the sky cracks open and the lake turns a dark, eerie gray, littered with white caps that always make him worried for the loons. The pitter patter of rain creates a symphony on the copper roof â Shaneâs favorite side effect of the durable, weather-ready material â and Ilya whines like a dog missing his afternoon walk.
âI want to go innnn,â he groans, still wearing his swim trunks from the morning.Â
Shane pulls up his weather app, the one he pays $20 a month for just to get hyper-local updates for the cottage. He sighs. âItâs like this for the next twelve hours.âÂ
Ilya groans more. âSo, what, 2am? We will skinny dip?âÂ
Shane actually considers it for a split second before his logic kicks in. âAbsolutely not.â
Ilya gives up too easily, which Shane knows to mean he will come back to this later. âFine,â Ilya says, taking the towel off of his shoulders and turning to face Shane. âBut if I cannot be inside lake, can I please be inside you?âÂ

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Cruising: A Hollanov Forced Proximity AU Fic
It's 2013, four years after Ilya left the league prematurely. Shane and Ilya are both passengers on a four-month, around-the-world cruise, each for their own reason. Shane is out for the season due to an MCL tear, and Yuna got him a deal with the cruise ship: their finest suite in exchange for a few social media posts. But for Ilya, the reason is much darker. He left the hockey world before his rookie year to take care of his father, and because a cutdown on Visas made it hard for him to commit to an American team. This cruise is his way to blow his meager inheritance, and, if heâs being honest with himself, itâs to find some kind of proof that life is worth sticking around for. Read it on AO3 (Chapters: 13/20ish)
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Shane wakes up the next morning with aching knees from his PT mobility exercises and a deep emptiness in the wake of Rozanovâs presence.Â
He hadnât been around Rozanov for years, so it makes no sense that the man leaving the gym would create some kind of void. How could he be missing something heâd barely even had? He blames the whiskey ginger for his headache, even though he knows itâs due to the way he clamped his jaw shut all night, full to the brim with tension and fear and, worst of all, yearning.Â
When the alarm clock next to his bed strikes 9 a.m., a soft announcement bellows from the speaker above him.Â
âHi folks, this is your captain speaking,â it says. Shane thinks the voice sounds vaguely familiar, but cannot place it. âWe are about an hour out from our very first port: San Juan, Puerto Rico,â the man pronounces the country with effort, accentuating the âuâ sound and rolling the ârâ slightly like heâs taken Spanish lessons to get it right. âWeâll dock from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and all pre-set excursions will end by 2 to give you some time to shop. Que tengas un buen dĂa!âÂ