yes shane not realising people are flirting with him but also shane not realising that HE is flirting with men he finds attractive shane who naturally flutters his big brown sparkly eyes more often whenever hes talking to a big strong handsome man shane who automatically tilts his head slightly down so his gaze is directed upwards shane whose voice turns soft and buttery while he’s delivering smooth jabs and quick compliments shane whose mouth quips into a glint of teeth and scratches the back of his neck so his bicep strains against the cuff of his t shirt shane who says ‘yeah you’d like that?’ without thinking and hums round and airy ‘mhmm’ in acknowledgement shane insisting ‘i was NOT flirting with him.’ when ilya brings it up later and ilya shrugs and says ‘you cannot help it…you’re super gay…i don’t mind, im the only one that makes you nervous’ and grins wickedly while shane blushes and makes a sound in the back of his throat as ilya descends upon him

When Shane gets traded to Ottawa, Harris posts a pic of itty bitty toddler Shane in an Ottawa Centaurs jersey that he is absolutely drowning in (it‘s David‘s) cheesing like there is no tomorrow, next to a pic of current Shane in his new Centaurs jersey with the caption: welcome home, Shane.

shane would hate golf and he'd spend the entire back 9 wondering why nobody has slammed him into anything

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

You wanna talk EDGY and PROBLEMATIC Ilya Rozanov headcanons?? MyIlya 100% texts while driving.

shane would be so jealous of anya's obedience training certificate he'd googling where can a human get a degree in being a Good Boy

post retirement hollanov but with the jenna marbles n julien solomita vibe where shane completely disappears from the public eye and ilya becomes a twitch streamer and every 5-7 years he shows one (1) picture of shane and tells occasional stories about him between games of rocket league and pubg

I need Ilya to think that turkeys are fake. Not turkey the meat, he knows those are real. But like wild turkeys. He thinks an American marketing company made them up for Thanksgiving. Like they don’t look like that, there’s no way they look like that. And then he sees (and hears) a wild turkey and freaks the fuck out

I need Ilya to think that turkeys are fake. Not turkey the meat, he knows those are real. But like wild turkeys. He thinks an American marketing company made them up for Thanksgiving. Like they don’t look like that, there’s no way they look like that. And then he sees (and hears) a wild turkey and freaks the fuck out

#myilya is the biggest gossip you’ve ever met. He is nosy, yappy, and an instigator. He is pretending he doesn’t know the story so he can get all the sides of it. He is blabbing on voice memos to Svetlana. He is deep in some teammate’s ex gf’s instagram, terrified of accidentally liking something. He is mad at Shane because Shane did not ask follow up questions when Yuna tells him David’s sister is getting a divorce. He is calling Yuna directly to ask follow up questions. When there was that tik tok trend of filming your friends reacting to gossip you’re telling them, he is experiencing a profound level of fomo. He is campaigning for a guest spot on Normal Gossip. This is a man who has never minded his business and I love that for him.

You have 1 new voicemail: Hello Yuna, it’s Ilya. How are you? I am good. So Shane just got home, thank you for leftovers by the way, and he told me that Diana and Rudy are getting divorced. Shane did not know anything else, but I have a feeling you do and I have many questions. Who asked for divorce? I bet it was her, but also when we were at that birthday party last month, she was very quiet, so maybe it was him. Do you think someone cheated? Oh my god, Yuna, do you think she cheated with that coworker she calls her work husband?! Bozhe moi, I cannot wait. Hold on, Yuna. *muffled conversation between Ilya and Shane* Ok, hello, I am back. We are coming over, I will bring wine. We will be there in twenty minutes, see you soon, love you.