EXPECTATIONS
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@medstudyblr
I’m fine.
I’m fine even if I’m waiting for a second diagnosis of chronic illness. I’m fine even if I will never be as good as other students. I’m fine even if my quality of life declines since years. I’m fine because I know what I could loose. I’m fine because I know what I have.
I’m fine because I want to see the light in the dark. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not always fine & it’s OK to not be. I know it's hard. I hope you are fine too ❤
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Sun versus Spoonie #1
Spoonie : Hell no, not today ... *try to run away*
Sun : Hi Sweetie ! You missed me ?
Spoonie : ...
Sun : Nothing to say to your old friend ?
Spoonie : Who ?
Sun : Come on, everybody loves me !
Spoonie : I don't.
Sun : Whaaaat ?!
Spoonie : I swear, I hate you.
Sun : ...
Spoonie : Did you see Rain ?
Sun : I don't want to talk about them.
Spoonie : What happened ?
Sun : Rain won the custody battle of Rainbow.
I just found your blog! You are a fighter !! Good luck !! P.s. I was diagnosed with diabetes type 1 last year . Right now Im almost done with my 5th year in med school.
Thanks ! I guess it wasn’t easy for you either to learn that while your studies and internships. But you are almost done, everything will be fine, right ?We will always find a way to make it to our goals. 💜
I wish I could
... live in a world where people who work or study in health sector (& any others) shouldn’t kill themselves to express how bad the situation is.
Once again, we lost one of us. She just wanted to become a doctor. If you need help, please, say it. You are so valuable you can not even imagine.
In a black and white world, only the stars are coloured
The reason children all want to become astronauts is that they want to get away from this place they’ll have to stay in all their lives.
Then they grow up, forget aboout the NASA because of a bad mark in maths, listen to black metal and throw up after drinking beer sold in 30 packs. They hate themselves without really knowing why. High school teaches them failure, humiliation, cigarettes and suicide. Those who pass their exams ruin themselves on Whisky-coke.
Eventually the sun casts more light on their path, they catch a better glimpse of the future, and see there is none. They psychanalyse themselves, finding out that everything is not just their fault.
So they get interested in politics, an other world is possible; to change it would be so cool. They buy T-shirts with red stars on and find the word “revolution” very appealing. It looks like “revolver”, but especially like “evolution”. They stop eating McDonald’s food, refuse to be French, stop watching the weather forecast.
Anyway tomorrow it’s sure to rain.
Doubt mingles with their attempts, ineviatbly vain attempts. Why change the world, since it’s going to explode. And then, they realize that having a cold beer with a brunette isn’t so bad after all. A girl’s glance is worth more than a foregone lost fight. Love not war; that type of bullshit.
We shout at the society once last bloody time and we resell our El Che poster. The girl becomes our wife, the cold beer becomes our belly. We cram into a furnished flat we’ll have to pay for. A job, then a car, with central locking and optional air-conditioning. We save up for Christmas and a bit of sun on the beach.
We become fat, ugly, bitter. The little brats stop playing on our lawn, and we remember that, before, we used to have plans. We remember... We were young, full of ideas, all that for nothing. Because now, we wait, like everybody, for our TV program.
So, before dying, we go to see our grandson. He wants to become an astronaut. Become one, it’s your only chance.
Source : I’ve been sick in my cornflakes (2004) by Pierrick Servais
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Do what you think you can’t do. ------------------------------------------------------- The Frey Life
My behavior today when the assistant asked for volunteers to show normal neurological examination.
Spoonie student problem #1
Can’t do the finger-to-nose test. Don’t pick me.
I cried in joy when I found your blog. I had just about given up my dream of medschool because of my health problems. Somehow seeing this made it all seem possible. Thank you so much
Ooooh my… thank you so much, I can’t describe how proud you make me feel about this tumblr barely active. I sincerely believe you can find a way to accomplish some of your goals too. You don’t need others people permission, you just need to know what you want and what are your powers now. Anything can happen to anyone at any time, don’t focus on your limitations. Even with declining health conditions, there is a way to be thankful for what your body gives you and to take the best out of it. All the best. ✨
When you’re struggling
Lately, I had a lot of dark thoughts, unable to study. I made a list to boost my mind to think positively. What makes me proud ? → go to bed / wake up early → exercise → take my meds → eat well → go outside → study hard → write for my website → keep my place in order & clean It’s OK if you aren’t able to do everything you wanted. Everyday you have reasons to be proud of yourself.
People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.
Voltaire
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New shy motivation wall.
Doctors talks side effects
" You are really close to have left hemiplegia. "
Maybe if she had tried to explain why she said that, it could have been fine. But she was agressive, authoritarian and screaming at me. For the first and the last time of my life, I cried in front of a doctor (and her trainee). I was 23 and so angry i couldn't talk. It was 3 years ago. Her aim was to convince me to take stronger drugs cause my treatment wasn't working.
It resulted to one year without putting one of my toe at hospital. No doctors, no MRI, no blood test, no treatment.
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I went back at hospital in an other city & a new Dr. One year later, despite my efforts to transfer my medical file, she didn't know my case.
She puts mistakes in my file about the relapses I had before I met her. She was harassing me to know if I was taking my treatment. I didn't fail once to take this one but she never believed me.
When she realized I wasn't reponsive to the new drug. She introduced me the other options I had. But she only told me about what she wants to sell to me. And we didn't have a real talk about the huge side effects that can occur.
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Third hospital, fourth neurologist, I appreciate him.
One day, he explained me that people have different feelings to similar lesions. Like a variable tolerance's threshold. And if I had so much symptoms, it's because I'm payed to much attention to my body. What is suppose to mean? It's the best thing to say to generate guilt.
When I try to act normaly despite my health conditions, it's getting worst.
How can I ignore I need 15 seconds and all my brain functions to close a water bottle ?
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Dear Spoonies, Build a shield and protect yourself the best you can. Numerous people have to go through the same experiences at hospital. You can find support, you are not alone.
Dear people of the medical sector, You shouldn’t speak unless you are sure about what you are going to say. It's impossible to know how a sentence can impact a life. But please don't forget that you have an impact, not always the one you were searching. Also on http://canyoutrust.me/index.php/en/
University Disability Services
Uni Disability Services: How can we help you?
Me: I need a prior access to university housing, like last year.
Uni Disability Services: Ask to the housing services.
Uni Housing Services: Did you passed 75% of your exams?
Me: No, due to health problems.
Uni Housing Services: Priority is for people in wheelchairs.
Me: You have hundreds of housing units.
Uni Housing Services: ...
Me: Please.
Uni Disability Services: Too many disabled students to help them, no prior access anymore.
Me: Remind me, what is your job for?
Health Union Communities
Did you hear about this? In 2010, two former pharmaceutical marketing executives left their corporate jobs to establish Health Union, LLC in an effort to truly help people improve their health. Our founders understood the untapped potential to leverage technology in ways that would enable patients to learn, to connect, to share and to be heard in a much bigger way. - dixit FAQs They built large communities of spoonies that include more and more diseases every year. There is a lot of informations about diseases as diagnosis, symptoms, treatments, surveys, ... you can register, share your story, it’s a participative website. If you are concerned with any of these diseases, you really should check out their platforms.
Asthma ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
COPD ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Crohn Disease ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Hepatitis C ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Irritable Bowel Syndrome ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Lung Cancer ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Migraine ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Multiple sclerosis ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Parkinson Disease ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Plaque Psoriasis ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Psoriatic-Arthritis ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Rheumatoid Arthritis ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Skin Cancer ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
Type 2 Diabetes ( site / twitter / fb / G+ )
These references can also be found on CanYouTrust ! & Big thanks for your support on my last post 💜
He was a doctor.
Today, my first patient died. And I have no words.
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What does it look like to be agender
Before everything else, being agender is to be transgender. Being transgender is when the gender identity assigned at birth doesn’t correspond to who you are. To be trans is to feel dysphoria. Feeling of gender dysphoria is the incompatibility between your identity and your body, your name or how others perceive you when they can’t or don’t want to see who you really are. Agender is a word for which the text editor give us a red squiggly underline. It’s not in everyday language, not yet. To be agender or neutrois means that one doesn’t identify to any gender. This gender, or more exactly, this absence of gender is part of non-binary gender transidentities (neither 100% feminine nor 100% masculine). Being agender, as far as I am concerned, is over all dysphoria since early childhood. Then the inability to find words in my mother language to express my identity. I have a heavy incomprehension and revolt against the statutes of men and women, patriarchy, sexism, education, the invisibility of non-binary and intersex. Basically, to a majority of our manners. My ideal gender expression is an androgynous appearance. Dress, manhood, makeup, abdominal or waxing are words that are not associated with a gender. In any case, not by me. To be agender is to be invisible, ignored, denied. It’s too early to be agender. To be agender is to be the precursor of a revolution for which the world is not prepared. Agender people are not represented on the media or the seventh art. Many other minorities have gone through this, and it’s to be hoped that they will be after an indefinite period. As binary transgender (F/M) people are today in rare and good series. [Not to mention: Orange is the new black, Sense 8, The fosters, ...] Over the years, public figures involved in the MOGAI* brief have been growing. To finally discover an agender person; Angel Haze. Sacred good rap, by the way. Educating others is a selfish, slow, long, painful and often unsuccessful process. But that is the basis. Defining terms; transgender, dysphoria, non-binary, ... Introduce name (Charly), pronoun (they/them), agreements (masculine or neutral) changes, ... Faculties of medicine are teeming with non-concerned students. People deeply transphobic, homophobic as well. Never have I heard such violent speeches about us as told by my future colleagues at university. Being transgender means suffering from incompetence and transphobia of our health professionals. Even those who are supposed to help us will often behave the opposite way to that appropriate in our presence. Except that special someone. Certainly, today, in the eyes of the world, I do not exist. Whether you want to hear it or not. We are what we are, one day, it will be known. We'll have a good scream and then we'll celebrate with Angel. And when I will become a doctor, count on me to be that special someone. Do not hesitate to replace the word agender by other minorities of mogai spectrum. *MOGAI: Marginalized Orientations, Genders Identities & Intersex
Liblrary
Are you studying all the day or at least a part of it? Your relatives don’t understand why you do that. Sometimes, it can be a lonely process. Liblrary is a discord server which will allow you to meet study buddies from the studyblr community or from different horizons. If you need inspiration and want to exchange with other students in the same situation, let’s join us. https://discord.gg/5P2gZht