#asthma

“I’m not” he said calmly, “but that was back-to-back traumas. It was intense.”

“Why aren’t you benching anyone else then?” You crossed your arms and tilted your head at him.

“Because… not everyone’s my beautiful girlfriend?”

“This is the opposite of favouritism.” You said, nothing playful about your tone. You rubbed your chest as you felt it get tight. Your asthma had been bothering you all night but you’ve been too busy and ignored it for way too long.

“W-what? is it bothering you?”

You shook your head at him, “Leave it Jack. I’ll be in triage.”

But before you walked off, Jack pulled you in towards him and slowly moved in for a kiss. He liked teasing you when you were upset.

You on the other hand, walked back to triage, anger filling your chest. You thought that dating Jack would get you privileges, and certainly not being pushed to the side.

After a few minutes you realised that…. he was completely reasonable. He never let the same team attend to three traumas back-to-back. He firmly believed that it clouds someone’s judgement. So he mixed and match the team.

If anything, he was playing favourites by letting you jump on three back-to-backs.

You shook off whatever feelings you had and braced the triage. You thought to apologise later for being a brat.

The moment you stepped in you instantly hated it. It was worse than trauma calls, far far worse.

Too many drunken idiots and apparently, everyone forgot to put on deodorant today.

You rubbed your chest again and muttered under your breath, “fuck.”

“What’s up?” Mateo glanced over.

“It’s nothing” you shook your head.

“You’re looking pale”

“Geee thanks?” you frowned.

Mateo shrugged. “Next one is yours.”

“Thank youuu” you replied sarcastically.

“What’s up with you today?”

“Sorry” you quietly said, “it’s been a bad night, I’m stressed and exhausted.”

“I heard. three traumas back to back”

You nodded, feeling yourself tear up. “No one survived.”

Another nurse knocked on the door. “Your next one is here.”

Your next patient was surprise, another drunken idiot of smelt terribly of BO and alcohol. You tried your best to focus on him but your chest was feeling tighter. With the smell lingering around in the air, you felt nauseous and that made your asthma even worse.

“Excuse me one second”, you muttered to him before leaving the room briefly. You patted yourself down trying to find your inhaler, but you must have put it down somewhere.

You stumbled back to your locker to grab another inhaler, but your brain was foggy, and you couldn’t remember your code. Your chest was no longer feeling tight; it was incredibly tight. You tried to take in a deep breath, but it felt as though you were breathing through a straw. You were starting to wheeze, and before you could get into your locker, you started coughing uncontrollably. Your first reaction was to grab your throat — it was instinct — a survival instinct.

You stumbled back to the pitt, but you couldn’t shout for help; you knew you were about to be the fourth trauma call for the night and you hoped you would survive.

But before you could do anything you hit the floor.

“Shit!” Mateo yelled before running over to you. “I need help!”

Within less than a minute, you were in one of the trauma rooms.

“Unresponsive to pain” Mateo said.

“Lips are grey, scratch marks to the neck. what the hell happened?” Henderson said.

“She’s asthmatic” Mateo replied. “She didn’t look too good earlier.

“HR, 132 bpm, O2 90%” Mateo read. “BP 148/92 mmHg”

“High flow oxygen” Crus said firmly, “We lost three and she’s not about to be the fourth one.”

Parker walked into the room where Jack was in. “Dr Abbot — sorry to interrupt, but you’re needed.”

“We’re almost done in here.” He smiled and turned back to the patient.

“Jack” Parker said firmly, “Now.”

He muttered a quick “sorry” and walked out to see Parker.

“Trauma one needs you.”

“Get Shen and Henderson in — I’ve done three back-to-backs.”

“Jack” Parker said a lot more sternly this time.

Jack’s heart dropped as he saw the fear in Parker’s eyes.

“What’s stats now, Mateo?” Hendreson said as he listened to your chest.

“Oxygen’s improved by 1%”

Jack stormed into the room. “What the fuck happened!”

Crus replied, “Asthma attack. Reduced air entry bilaterally. Significant wheeze."

"Start continuous nebulised salbutamol. I want IV access and two grams of magnesium sulfate." Jack added.

“On it” Parker said.

He looked over at you, voice breaking, “Right sweetheart you gotta stay with me, alright?”

A few minutes passed, which was torture for everyone in the room.

“Let’s intubate”

Crus cut in, “Jac—“

He snapped, “Intubate”

“You could literally kill her — you could literally make everything worse!” Parker yelled. “No!”

“It’s my decision and—“

Shen cut in as he walked into the room, “Sorry, Abbot — it’s mine. We’re not intubating.”

Jack said breathlessly, “What the fuck?”

“You can’t work on family,” Shen said calmly. “She’s high risk for barotrauma.”

Jack was in disbelief. He took a few steps back, eyes bouncing between you and then. He shook his head slowly, almost saying, i don’t believe this.

“Jack” Parker said calmly, “you’re letting your emotions cloud your judgement.”

He yelled, “I’m not!”

“She’s high risk!” Henderson bit back. “Intubating might kill her!”

Jack stumbled back and reality sunk in that his emotions and love for you could have hurt you.

“Mateo, stats?” Shen asked, ignoring everyone’s yells, as he tried to listen to the lungs again.

“HR the same, 130, BP slightly improved at 138/87”

“Push steroids, increase oxygen, and we wait,” Shen said firmly.

Somewhere in Jack’s mind, there was a clock ticking, while he held your hand and watched your shallow breathing.

“This can’t be happening.” He muttered to himself. “You were fine 20 minutes ago.”

The clock ticked, tik tok tik tok tik tok.

Jack couldn’t wait any longer, “Just hear me o—“

“Jack just be her boyfriend for God’s sake, pretend you’re not a doctor for a minute!” Parker was about lose her patience.

“Oxygen’s improving” Mateo said with a sigh of relief.

Jack didn’t on the other hand. He started pacing, waiting for any sign that you were still there.

The clock ticked quicker and louder in his head.

You opened your eyes slowly and blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the bright room.

Jack leaned in, “hey, hey i’m here.”

You said weakly, wheezing, “My chest is on fire”

“I know, sweetheart, I know,” Jack muttered softly. You noticed that is eyes were glassy as if he had been crying. “We’re doing everything that we can.”

You nodded, trying to take in another deep breath but it was still feeling awfully tight.

Shen said, “Keep on the nebulisers — salbutamol and now add ipratropium.”

You gave them a thumbs up. Everyone let out a nervous laugh except Jack. He was quiet, mind still ticking, thinking of many, many worst case scenarios.

“We’ll leave you two to it for a minute.”

“How are you feeling?” Jack said quietly.

“Better than you by the looks of it?” You gave him a small smile.

He let out a nervous chuckle as he shook his head. “That was terrifying”

You nodded, finally letting your tears run.

“You’re okay I’ve got you.” He whispered quietly. “I’ll never let you go.”

You pulled down your mask. You didn’t need to act strong, not here, not with Jack. “I thought I was going to die.”

“I was never going to let that happen” Jack leaned in, resting his forehead on yours, “Never.”

You felt his warm tears drop down on your cheeks.

He grabbed the oxygen mask to put it back on your our face but you stopped him.

“Please you need to wear it. don’t be stubborn, not now.”

“For the love of God just kiss me.” You said softly, “stop being a doctor.”