Please Let Me Sleep

Hey get out of there

noclip is strictly prohibited in my home

#interior crocodile alligator

he’s in the house like carpet

and then what?

hey and then what

stop hitting me 🤕

Okay guys I have the day off tomorrow so I will totally clean my whole house, finish every book I’m reading, do all the stuff I’ve been putting off, and solve world hunger :) so excited

i could never handle immortality not because of any existential reasons but because i know itd make my procrastination so much worse. catch me putting off tasks for decades. catch me putting off tasks for centuries. what do you mean that movie ive been meaning to get around to became lost media 40 years ago. what do you mean that landmark ive been meaning to visit has been eroded. oooh i got PLANY of time..............

Accidentally clicking on an AI assistant feels like clicking on a link that’s going to give you a virus.

midwife? don't say that. a wife could never be that.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

do you guys promise you will keep blogging with me about vampires forever ?

i would but sadly i'm a human with a mortal life. if only there were a way for me to stay by your side, blogging forever...............

haha yeah that’d be cool……. unrelated but can you come a little closer with your neck exposed

Put me back in the water right now or ill die

Right now or ill die

Squirm for me

Unh