I LOVE RIN MATSUOKA!!!

Like on one hand I love living in 2026 where technology allows me to in real time talk and see my family that's thousands of kilometers away. And for the longest time I was like "yeah okay seeing my parents and my sister once a week on sunday for 1-2 hours is enough already we have a good contact and some people don't talk that often".

But now that my sister has a baby I'm like. Well videocalls are not enough are they. I want to actually be there and hug her and looking at the screen once a week (if she's in a good enough mood so that's not always guaranteed, after all it's a 4ish month yo baby) is def not doing it for me. And again I should be grateful that we have a non-laggy internet and the technology that I can see her. But that doesn't really compare to the real thing (seeing someone irl and being able to hug her).

Like I guess I played myself bc I thought videocalls are enough. And like, they are if we think 14 years ago to when I moved from home the phonecalls (only voice) was the more common thing. People wrote letters and weren't able to see each other at all. And like others have it worse. And I'm pretty sure that when they come over in september and I will stay with that half year old baby for straight 24hrs I'll have already enough of it. But like.

It fucking sucks that most of my life is like this. And will be like this. And there's nothing I can do about it bc that's how it is and it's always been. Like the concept having dinner or going "home" for the weekend is so foreign to me it might as well be from another planet.

And I already like saw her twice this year which is more than anyone can say. But it still sucks. Yeah I'm doing that "little sister who stayed behind whining that all my family went away" that's pretty common archetype in this family but like. Damn. I wish I could do something else in life or like at least get some friends or something.