malted-shark

Also being a scientist pretty much gives you a free pass to be as eccentric as you want like you’ll be at a conference and it’s like “is that guy wearing socks and sandals and plaid pants???” “Ya but he was on the team that discovered gravitational waves let him be”

I once saw a highly-respected mineralogist take a slice of watermelon, put it between the two halves of a bagel, and eat it like a sandwich.

I can think of at least one odd personality trait of every single academic member of staff at vet school 😂

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

the absolute fucking height of comedy is scientists and scholars getting into fights over incredibly niche subjects. the idea of nerds in labcoats and suits getting close to blows over something that only like 20 people care about is so funny. 

[ID: text reading ‘The Milton scholars screamed and argued about how the serpent was supposed to move before it crawled on its belly. Dr. Matthews, enraged that Dr. Goldstein could believe the serpent bounced on the coiled end of its tail, flipped over the conference table. “Satan is not a fucking pogo stick!” he howled.’]

King

How does a dude end up with anorexia though? I’m assuming he’s straight…

What an ignorant ass question. Men are not immune to eating disorders, and neither are heterosexuals. Seriously what the hell kind of question is that?

hint: if a person with clinical depression and anxiety says theyre tired …. dont tell them they have no reason to be …. bc guess what….. They Know and Its Shitty

Louder!!!

I needed to hear this so bad that it made me cry

i love ‘difficult’ women

i love insane women and old hags and basic teenage bitches and crazy ex-girlfriends and bitter old ladies and spinsters and whatever the fuck else they want to call us. i love women who aren’t women ‘correctly’ so very much

aesthetic: those landscape photos that look like they were taken on another planet in deep space

you need to give yourself permission to be happy now. not when you lost weight, not when you found your soulmate, not when you have more money. we seek excitement from future events, but once those goals are met, the temporary pleasures will pass and they will be replaced by the next fantasy. devote your full attention to your inner self and appreciate being in the moment. happiness is never external, but a way of living and appreciating life. it’s not reality, just the way you perceive it. so go and shift your focus from the outcome to watching yourself grow.

My upstairs neighbor is having really loud sex at 10:25am. And, while this feels like retaliation, I can only hope it mellows her out and she stops stomping around all the goddamn time

Wow in the time it took me to type up and tag this post, the sex started and ended…… she’ll prolly be vacuuming soon. 🙁

It’s 10:29 and the sex has ended. I am v sad for her

I feel like I jinxed her. Like her nigga follows me on here and saw this post, mid thrust, and got performance anxiety. I’m sorry, Upstairs Stomping Bitch.

There’s stomping. She’s up and moving around. And you know what….. I can’t even be mad anymore. If I was only getting fucked for seven minutes at a time, I’d stomp around too.

Damn I just heard her door close and then footsteps coming down the stairs. He left 😭😭😭 he’s not even gonna try again.

I’m gonna need ear plugs for the level of stomping this is bound to cause. When her feet inevitably crash through my ceiling ima just look through the hole and be like “hi…. sorry you didn’t get fucked down this morning. Even tho you filed a noise complaint on me that one time, I was rooting for you.”

Update y’all: it’s 3:10pm and she is vacuuming THE FUCK out of the hardwood flooring

But then like, that really does sound like something ppl that are in need of orgasm do. Just extremely unnecessary cleaning, to take their mind off the lack of sexual release.

It’s 12:26am and she is getting her back blown tf outttt. Cannot be the same nigga from earlier.

I have the strong urge to knock the broom against the ceiling and holler out “yaaas bitch get some bomb ass dick” but I don’t wanna fuck up the vibe

Nvm. It lasted from 12:20-12:28. It’s the same nigga.

She better not start stomping or cleaning. I’ll file a noise complaint so fucking fast. Imagine getting a noise complaint for shitty sex. Don’t do it, Stomping Upstairs Bitch

what a ride

Not for her, apparently.

this is just a normal waffle house

there is a bloody handprint on the door

There is somethung under the counter with the cups

Blind man reading news paper Skull in the coffee

Milk is $15

Lady’s hand is a tentacle

the bleeding pie, the eyeball and fingers on the blind man’s plate…

I think his face is just tentacles.

The blind man has gills.

Scariest detail: this image was ripped from the creator’s site and vandalized (edited to remove the watermark), then reuploaded for viral fame without so much as a mention of the artist’s name. SOURCE: http://jeffleejohnson.deviantart.com/art/Blue-Plate-Special-661961724 That said, the earlier observation about milk being $15 is off - artist confirms this is based on a 1920’s diner, so the price would be in cents. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4375070065) The table under the journal is lacquered with ants. The person holding the skull-creamed coffee paints the underside of their nails. Either that or their natural nails grow red. The journal’s writing, intentionally made hard to read and partially obscured, is somewhat of a cheat to all the things amiss in the scene. (http://comments.deviantart.com/1/661961724/4372574544) I can make out: “… and eyeball … have to think he is less strange than the horrifying creature that seems to have inhabited the cabinet behind him … all tentacles and teeth … (obscured by cup) … Where in the world can be found such nightmares?!”

Reblogging for the correct source (I didn’t even notice the OP wasn’t the artist oops).

AAAHH, cool, but AAAAAHHHH

every shonen character: i’m 11 and i dont care if i die

I mean have you ever met an 11 year old

11 year olds have the self preservation of someone who has met god and wasn’t impressed