Reflections @malphense - Tumblr Blog

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helenvaughans

zitasaurusrex

kangals

my YouTube algorithm has been showing me a lot of horse racing recently and since the Kentucky derby is today, the last few days all my recommendations have been filled with every middle-ages dudebros podcast about gambling and betting strategies and How To Pick The Real Winner and how to min-max your bet and bla bla bla. Buddy I’ve already got my favorite horsie picked out and it’s because he’s Silly.

kangals

reasons i like the horsie Great White:

he's about 6 inches taller and 200lbs heavier than any other horse in the field. big ol honse.

his record kind of sucks and when an interviewer asked his trainer "what do you think [the horse] will need to do to win the derby?' the trainer just said "get a lot better."

the horse was deadset on eating the landscaping shrubbery during the interview

thats all i need, absolutely sold, go get em Great White.

kangals

this couldn't have ended any more perfectly

kangals

guess which one is great white

krasnoarmeyets

i bet it feels good as fuck to intend to do something and then actually do it

mathematikerin-freyja

The difference between medicated for ADHD me and not medicated for ADHD me is basically that.

phaeton-flier

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

phaeton-flier

The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there

theaudientvoid

centrally-unplanned

Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.

And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.

weaselle

seraphim

middleearthorcseeksspaceorc

No... it's

Nephilim Ursus!!

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badassdemonsword

Heated rivalry shouldve been about 2 ugly old guys that play mahjong then maybe id consider watching it

krownest

i don't remember them playing mahjong but they do other old man things like going to the wet market together and drinking soup and taking walks. anyway go watch suk suk / twilight's kiss

krownest

"ok but where's the old chinese lesbians" go watch all shall be well. it's by the same director and the old chinese lesbians are also at the market

foeofcolor

Only day you can rb this

foeofcolor

This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far

eosphoroz

Not the Spongebob tieeee 😂 I'm dying

zombiesheartwaffles

I know this isn’t going to be canon but I am obsessed with the idea that Lestat’s furious objections to the book are entirely to minor, inane details that no one else cares about.

todayintokyo

Volleyball player Yuji Nishida accidentally hit a line judge. This is how he apologized.

rakkzi

best-of-inspirobot

tearlessrain

this is in perfect iambic meter and sounds like the first line of a weird poem

tearlessrain

Rule #2

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you see one on the street,

For decorum is essential when a lobster you must greet.

You may comment on the weather, compliment his choice of hat,

But crustaceans like their space if one should stop them for a chat.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you’re strolling down the coast,

Simply nod and give a greeting, or a handshake at the most,

For a lobster’s first priority is formal social graces,

And one seemes over-familiar if a lobster one embraces.

Don’t ever hug a lobster when you meet one in the sea,

For a lobster’s spines and chitin make it difficult, you see,

And he might become self-conscious if you bring that fact to light,

So don’t ever hug a lobster, simply put, it’s impolite.

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kinkydorah

troy and abed with the vaaaaaampires 🎵

cartoonrival

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

cartoonrival

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

64mpg

“my friend is ALWAYS sick and cancelling our plans” it sounds like your friends life suuucks and you should check on them

wardwolf

lipsredxasarose

I hate the push that you can quit addictions by pure willpower because it perpetuates the idea that people who can't have committed a moral failing of some kind. We all may know some people who did quit an addiction cold turkey, and with no aid, you may be one of them. And that's fantastic, but it is not the norm. It is more than okay to need help to quit an addiction. Relapse is also part of the process. Many people relapse several times before they are able to quit for good. Let's have compassion.

anarchistmemedistro

not only that but depending on the substance quitting cold turkey can kill you

sileana

ALCOHOL. It’s a very common dependence and cold turkey CAN KILL YOU. A lot of people don’t know this. Doctors can literally prescribe beer in the ER to save a life.

Be careful out there.

anarchistmemedistro

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wardwolf

samcormac

what’s the rush?

rainwasheseverythingaway

The time will pass anyway

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