Best answer

This guy is on a whole other level

ANY SHRIMPS DO YOU HAVE TO EAT

BEFORE YOU MAKE YOUR SKIN TURN PINK

EAT TO MUCH AND YOU’LL GET SICK

SHRIMPS ARE PRETTY RICH

i love it when girls call me diddy

diddy you mean daddy

my blood is glowstick juice. thats why all my bones crack when i move.

Explains how you bring light to everything around you too.

there’s this one girl at school who sends a mass text to the whole year group whenever she sees a dog so that we can go pat it too if we’re nearby and I have petted at least five dogs because of her that I wouldn’t have otherwise and idk I hope you all have someone like her in your lives

i like how writing realistic worlds and characters is so important for so many writers to the point where they agonize over it. meanwhile lemony snicket was just like “death to reality. im gonna write this whole ass series and with god as my witness, absolutely fucking NOBODY is gonna act like a person.”

I am so proud of him. I love Terry so much. He is doing what other men are too afraid to do he is really risking so much by doing this.

Fucking accurate

This is amazing.

why does it need a fire extinguisher 

​"It's​ märìwhüānà alright.“

FOREVER REBLOG

I snorted so hard I was not expecting that

Whoa. The MLA has officially devised a standard format to cite tweets in an academic paper. Sign of the times.

ebooks, Horse. (horse_ebooks). “Leg Butt” 18 Nov 2011, 12:38 PM. Tweet.