Remember to turn on the light.

i think i deserve financial compensation for everything. all of it. i’m not even gonna specify

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

fuck i just remembered i’m fundamentally unlovable

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave

not getting good reports back on your progress with this guys

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

always thinking of that “i couldn’t stop wasting time” quote

I love characters who would die for each other but will not, under any circumstances, communicate a single honest feeling.