m00n4rch

Not only are you not scratching the surface, you don't even know where you're digging

So to preface, a couple years ago I joined a Minecraft server with a big group of friends, where every now and again, they would come over to my House. And I thought it'd be really funny if I changed the House ever so slightly but always insisted that it was exactly the same, so occasionally when they'd come over they'd say, "Is this room different...?" and I would do my best deadpan sincere voice and say "no, it's always been like that! :D". Since I live in Europe it was really easy for me to exclusively work at night time for them, so from their point of view I was never really online. So over the course of probably like a year and a half, I just kept Extending The House. Every so slowly. Excruciatingly slowly. I kept making strange rooms with no purpose. Hallways that connected only to each other. Doors that lead to nowhere. Until finally one day, I logged in and there was a new room that I had Not built, and a new staircase that had definitely not been there before. Eventually I stopped adding onto my House because when I would log on it would be different anyway. Without me even doing it. One time I logged on and there were balloons. One day I logged on and my house was made of netherite. I realise it was my friends finally noticing the tomfoolery I'd been pulling for over a year and doing it back, but I like to believe that I'd committed to the bit of my house Growing for so long that I'd accidentally hexed it and it truly did begin manifesting its self :)

Except. the strange happenings did not stop there. Under the cut is all of my memories of unexplainable, weird and just generally Fucked Up things that occurred in my Minecraft House

The house was lit up fine, but for some reason creepers (and only creepers) would sometimes spawn in there. So I had to be careful whenever I turned a corner because there was a nonzero chance there would be one staring me down like freddy fazbear in my doorway

To combat this I had several cats and a fox named Froyo who wandered my house, but one day every single animal on the server spontaneously died on the spot simultaneously

I had plans to build an exact replica of the house underneath the house, I never finished it though because of time restraints but could you fucking imagine

I really like the farlands, so one day while mindlessly mining out the gaping caverns underneath my house I chiseled a chunk of farlands. So in the dimly lit no-man’s land beneath my home there was (what looked like) a chunk from the farlands just hanging out in there

One day while digging down to look for diamonds or whatever I fell down into an exact replica of the backrooms which someone had for some reason constructed. This thing is genuinely thousands of blocks wide I got lost in there within a minute and it was just Below My House this whole time

At one point I built a house made out of netherite, diamond and emerald blocks on my front yard just because it looked like the kind of thing a kid would make when they first get creative and it made me laugh

Sidenote but my whimsical and goofy reputation meant that I got so much insane stuff for free because nobody was worried about me ever actually using it. One time an admin gave me so many hearts that it covered the left side of my screen and they just forgot to take it away for like a week. I was literally immortal and living in a home made of diamonds and netherite like I cannot stress how rich and powerful I was but all I used my power for was making my house really weird

This goes without saying but there is obviously a herobrine summoner in my basement

The “biome” that started growing in my cavernous mining-area basement was a lush caves biome, which wasn’t actually added into the game yet

On the last day of the server, some newer members were given creative and blew everything up for fun. For some reason they were able to roll back all of the other explosions EXCEPT the ones that destroyed my House

I found a brown mooshroom cow thousands of blocks away, so I lead it back but upon entering the threshold of my Home it literally died on the spot. His grave is still there ☹

One day I logged on and someone had built a giant soulsand Totem in front of my home and lit a bunch of my stuff on blue-fire. Still not sure what that meant

Below my home there’s a box named “containment chamber 1” except why is it called chamber one. That implies that there’s more and I don’t know where they are. Maybe my entire home is a containment chamber

At one point, random blocks in my house started turning into bedrock. This means that you literally could not fully destroy my house no matter what. Also I vividly remember an admin came over to my house to do a HOUSE INSPECTION and get rid of any anomalous blocks, and in a panicked attempt to make my home look normal, I covered all of the bedrock up with trapdoors so they wouldn’t stand out and my house could remain weird. This worked btw. This was also the same admin that PUT THOSE BLOCKS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE

On literally the first day when I moved into the plot of land that would become my House I found an indestructible, invisible floating block right where I wanted to build

I forgot to mention but my house is both a house, a small village and a whole Area called “Sans County” on account of the giant sans undertale statue that appeared on top of my house one day. Anyway through various geo-political disputes and SMP Lore Stuff that I was barely involved in, I somehow accidentally ended up inheriting almost literally the entire server by virtue of being the last one alive. So by the end of the SMP, the entire server was technically my House

"ohh youll probably change your mind when your older"

yeah im not gonna have kids

"but youre so good with kids"

yeah im not gonna have kids

"youre too young to know that for sure"

yeah im not gonna have kids

"you might meet someone that you really want to start a family with"

Because Derek already knows Avery likes him back (because infinite knowledge). While Avery knows nothing. Although an unencumbered Derek would likely confess immediately knowing Hanaki is on the table.

Honestly it would be interesting to see a Hanaki where Derek is in a coma (or dead, depending on how much angst you want) directly following the events of dawtde. A good change of pace from the expected storyline of most Hanaki plots.

ngl this is the funniest procedural thing ive made in a while i saw https://genders.wtf/gauntlet/ and realized that the only way it could be better is if it went forever

And you have your staff play with their kids while you hold them in the tiny restroom as they come completely undone because they just found out that their golden boy husband is having an affair with the someone he's been doing residency with for the past three years.

He confessed that he'd rather be with the other woman but she's of a different faith and it's more important to have kids than to be happy. And no. No he will not grant her a divorce. And he will not stop seeing the other woman - because he's a man. It's his right.

TRUE story.

Also - She was NOT THE ONLY ONE to fall to pieces in our store for similar reasons.

I loath the ideology of "tradwives". It is a false doctrine preach by Patriarchy not a divine being.

It is the nature of evil to hide this way.

Married out of college, 4 kids, he spent 15 years building up his career while she took care of the house and the kids. When he was earning $600k a year suddenly he started to pull away - she wasn't as pretty anymore, the kids were loud, the house was a mess... She wasn't good enough anymore. He got himself a flat. He got her me and my precedessors to help with the kids. No, they can't divorce, that would make him pay her money for the kids and he didn't like that. Every once in a while a bill would be unpaid. My weekly checks would bounce. We lived in a $1,5mil house around DC and our gas or water was turned off more than once.

Somehow he was always out of money.

By accident she learned from a friend of a friend that he was actually seeing a young lady lawyer for a few years now. It wasn't her, it wasn't lost interest. He was just a piece of shit.

Thankfully, she had family that took no shit and they stood behind her and borrowed her money for lawyers to force the divorce now that she had proof of him cheating. She's spent tens of thousands to get there while he was resisting every step of the way - because without divorce he wouldn't have to pay her alimony, he could just throw scraps whenever he wanted and still pretend to be a good dad.

She's spent tens of thousands and two years to free herself from this man, and when she could finally go to work (thank fuck she finished college) she was earning $25k a year.

She only managed to get away with the support of her parents and family. Through the au-pair grapevine I've known other families like that. Too many. Lady down the street tried to commit suicide when same happened to her - she was from Taiwan and had no support to get free. And people around scorned her for being "dramatic" - women who held on to their places with their fingertips talked shit about her, because their own husbands would never...! Right?

This? Is why conservatives want to take away no-fault divorce--because if some dude says no to a divorce and you don't have any (IRON-TIGHT) evidence of cheating? Then you're stuck in that situation and he doesn't have to pay a drop toward you and your kids. He can go get a flat, fuck his mistress, and you will starve with your kids until you can get some kind of proof of him cheating and a judge who likes you.

Now imagine all of this horror movie shit, AND you can't open a bank account without this piece of shit opening it with you. That was what women dealt with until about the 70s when we were finally allowed to open bank accounts with a man's signature.

That is what conservatives and fundies want to take you back to. When this shit was just the fucking norm.

There are old white guys still alive who remember who damn nice it was when a woman couldn't open a bank account without a man's signature and his dad could go live a double life with a mistress with zero repercussions and oh how they slather and drool for those times. And how they have waxed poetic about these halcyon days to their desperate daddy-issues sons now eager to please and without the social skills or emotional maturity to understand the fucked up nature of it all.