So I've seen the post going around that's kind of like "kids should be able to read whatever they want and not have their choices censored by adults" and I largely agree with one caveat which is that children need to be able to opt in. I remember being 12 and sneaking some dirty books, and being interested and excited to read a book with something more sexy in it, and no one died, and everything was fine, and I was not forever scarred. However I do remember being shown a a horror film at seven by a babysitter and not being able to sleep for three weeks, and if I'd known how scary the movie was I wouldn't have wanted to watch it.
Kids can usually know what they can handle. Kids cover their eyes at scary points in films, kids read past stuff they aren't ready for. But it is good to be clear like "Oh that book might have some scary parts you might not like, are you sure you want to get that one?" Or "Oh this book has some grown up things in them that you might have a hard time understanding, I want to check that your okay with that." Like give kids the warnings and options and they will probably make a safe and informed decision. It doesn't have to be either or.
I also think kids should be allowed to be wrong about what they can handle without getting in trouble for it. They should be able to go to the adults in their life and ask for help processing what they saw or read without fear of judgement or punishment.
Tied up in all this is, "Can the child stop engaging with the media?" If a kid is reading a scary book or a smutty fan fic, they have the option to put it down or click the backspace. If an adult takes a child to an R rated movie that's too much for them, the child can't just get up and leave the theater. (Like, they might be able to physically do so, but if they know they'd be punished for doing so, they practically can't.)
Additionally, children don't always have the words/support to tell an adult who has power over them, "I don't want to watch this anymore." And an environment where adults expose children to inappropriate media is probably going to be an environment where children don't feel comfortable speaking up - and where adults aren't going to listen even if they do.























