biological white noise leads to insanity

The year is 2015, you wake up at 2pm and rush to your computer. Your friends are on skype! You message your skype group and say “dgdjfgdfg GOOD MRONGING I OVERSLEP TGDFG”, all your friends reply with a keysmash. They update you on what happened while you napped, two of your mutuals got called out for kinstealing. Tsh- not like you’re surprised. Even if they tagged as “not kin or id”, you knew they were reblogging too much chrom art for them not to be kin. Your friends quickly send you the callout post link and you scroll through it hastily. Looks like they also stole their mutuals theme layout. You close the callout and open tumblr.com, you recently changed your url from bpdayato to ayato2 (score!) and need to reblog the notice post again for your mutuals who may not have seen. You have one new ask! You open your inbox to read it. It says- “were u tumblr user schizogod.” …you delete the ask. You know if you say yes they will bring up old callouts, but that’s not important- your friends just sent you a rabbit invite and you’re going to watch darkweb videos!

is this like satire or did you guys actually live this

you didn't think i'd leave you behind, did you?

"this is too raw of a line to come from—" shut up. beauty and meaning is everywhere

i love how delusional some articles of clothing are, like you read the tag and its like “hand wash only/tumble dry on low” son you are a cotton tshirt. youre going in the warsh and whatever happens in there is in gods hands

my sister works in a restaurant and has taken to saying "do you think that's normal?" every time someone says something rude or is borderline harrassing her. fully doesn't engage except for telling them to Reflect. Look Inward. i'm obsessed with her.

wait americans can just. buy massive bottles of ibuprofen what the fuck

when you’re on here like ‘mmm yummy five ibuprofen make headache go away’ you’re not struggling with little packets you’re just straight chugging that shit what the fuck

i imagine its compensation for not actually having healthcare

my kids are gonna be like mommy what’s an ipad and i’m going to be like we DONT use that word in this house. play with worms.

Just ate an entire pear that was so good and so juicy i started gnawing on it with both hands like an animal and the face my supervisor made when he passed by my desk while I was absolutely consumed by my pear fueled bacchanal was Something i have never seen someone look so tired and also so upset and also also so envious

“i don’t need a list, i'll remember what i need. it’s four things. no need to write it down” thats the DEVIL SPEAKING!!!!!

Every movie should be named like cloudy with a chance of meatballs