the boys are howdying

is 5 too young for the dark crystal? i don’t want to scare my sister but i want to show her

I forgot that was the name of a film when I read this and thought you were desperate to show your 5 y/o sister some sort of cursed artifact

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

If you were really my friend you’d do this highly unethical experimental surgery on me

Pro tip: when you see a brand new slang term, your first question should be how that term has been used in AAVE for the past 20-30 years.

if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends

me n u or u n hello kitty ?

me and you

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

i think if you showed minecraft or fortnite to a little medieval peasant boy he would probably start writing parodies of church hymns. it’s human nature

8/10 but fuck, OW.

8/10 also!