the boys are howdying

what if people over a certain height had a special currency called tall coins that short people didn’t know about. And one day you’re walking with your friend (huge) and she drops something and you pick it up and say what is this and she says oh that’s my tall coin don’t worry about it. But you did worry

My longhouse is perfectly constructed. Every morning when I wake up in bed at the far end of my longhouse, I say my syllable. Then I spend all day sitting in bed. By sunset my syllable has traveled to the other end of my longhouse and back, and as it smacks me in the head, I fall asleep. My longhouse is perfectly constructed.

when people talk bad about cargo shorts i feel so unsafe

like sorry you hate my boxy silhouette and practical pockets

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

happy 10 year anniversary to the puppet master that cursed my dick