the guy with a team of half-baked rwby ocs.

man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.

[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]

man: Rusalki! I don't know where they come from or how they get here, and I can't afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can't let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.

[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]

man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.

[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]

man: You can't drown me, you little idiot. You're too small. Shoo!

[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]

Legolas sees Gimli’s tiddies for the first time at the counsel of Elrond and bursts into tears ‘cause he’s never wanted to be railed so bad in his life. 

Elrond misunderstands and is like tsk we must overcome our prejudices, Thranduilion 8-|

And then Legolas spends the entire quest like,

TYPES OF SHANTIES

If you've any experience in sea shanties, you've probably noticed they don't all sound the same. Some are slow, some are fast, and some are just downright sad! Well there's method behind the melody, and I'm here to tell you all about it!

A shanty frequently contains a CALL, which is what the shantyman would sing out, essentially the verses of the song, and the RESPONSE, which is what the men would sing back. For example in Haul Away Joe: the call is "Louis was the king of France before the revolution," and the response is "heave away, haul away Joe."

One of the first things to keep in mind is that shanties were used most frequently during tasks that required most of the crew. I'm now going to separate these types of work shanties into categories:

CAPSTAN SHANTIES: these shanties were used for repetitive work that was sustained, such as raising the ship's anchor at the capstan. Examples? Randy Dandy-Oh, Drunken Sailor, Eliza Lee, Barrett's Privateers (though this was written long after the age of sail!)

HALYARD SHANTIES: sung during tasks that took a very long time and required a break for a breath before the men started up again, such as hoisting a sail. Examples? Blow the Man Down, Leave Her Johnny, Hanging Johnny (Johnny really took the piss huh)

PUMPING SHANTIES: let's hope you didnt have to do a lot of pumping! Wooden ships were prone to leaking and so pumping out the water was necessary but tiresome work below decks. Examples? Santiana, Pump Shanty (surprise there)

SHORT-HAUL SHANTIES: for quick work, like shortening sails! Examples? Haul Away Joe, Paddy Doyle's Boots, Haul on the Bowline

There's some of our task shanties! Now why don't we go below and see what our off-duty men are getting up to?

Why, they're singing FO'C'SLE SHANTIES! These shanties are stories of life at sea, the work they'd done, the places they'd been, they can tell you a lot about a sailor's life. Examples? Rolling Down to Old Maui, Ben Backstay, All for me Grog

Fun! How about those far away in the polar seas hunting whales? Well I'm glad you asked because this is where we encounter WHALING SHANTIES! And yes, you guessed it, this is where Wellerman comes in! Other examples include Bonnie Ship the Diamond, The Greenland Whaler Fisheries

1.) Intense obsessions that last maybe two weeks but consume your soul

2.) Spacing out in class but loving to learn