let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
will byers stan first human second
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@lotrlighterside
Gandalf: *chilling in Bilbo’s garden*
Tiny Frodo: *softly* hey
Gandalf: hm?
Frodo: I have something for you
Gandalf: oh?
Frodo: *gently puts a snail in his hand*
Gandalf: what’s this
Frodo: a friend :)
Gandalf: I’ll treasure him
I’m picturing Gandalf saying this as like. a solemn oath
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i would be That Guy who throws a rock into the deep dark spooky water with bad vibes that everyone says not to disturb. and yeah obviously i'd die for it but at least i'd die doing what i loved: throwing rocks and causing problems on purpose
I love them ur honour
Bonus Aragorn
hear me out: a lotr game but you play as the ring, throwing yourself wantonly into the path of unsuspecting folk and slowly corrupting their minds as the game progresses
it’s a lovely morning in middle earth, and you are a horrible ring.
*lying in the bottom of river*
press Y to glitter seductively
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The Fellowship gets on the topic of their ages one night and Boromir comes to the dawning realization that he has absolutely no idea how old any of his companions are supposed to be at all
Boromir, pointing at the hobbits: I don’t know how your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Legolas and Gimli: I definitely don’t know how either of your ages work
Boromir, pointing at Aragorn: I thought I knew how your age worked but apparently I was wrong
Boromir, pointing at Gandalf: I especially don’t know how your age works
Gandalf: It doesn’t, but carry on
I just need you to know that with Among Us being stupidly popular all of sudden, there's a gotta be a whole flavor of memes gen z / young millennials make about Aragorn being the imposter.
I mean, Boromir dies, Gandalf the Grey dies, two hobbits go missing for months Denethor dies, Theoden dies, and Faramir and Éowyn on their death bed? All after having close encounters with "Aragorn"?
I don't know Aragorn seems pretty sus to me
@lesbiansforboromir
if you choose to believe that in hobbit culture fat = sexy then when Gollum called Sam a ‘stupid fat hobbit’ from Sam’s perspective he was basically being called a himbo.
what gollum said: stupid fat hobbit
what gollum meant: ur ugly and stupid
what sam heard: you’re a hottie but you’re dumb as shit
sam:
Sam: Mr Frodo sir, he keeps hitting on me, sir, even though I told him to stop, I’m very uncomfortable, it’s creating a hostile work environment, Mr Frodo! Gollum, gesturing wildly at Mordor: WE is creating a hostile work environment?!
Six hours later Gollum is still muttering about how we is NOT hitting any hobbitses. Have not hit ANY hobbitses since master is ordering us not to. Fat hobbit LIES.
Sam is very much interpreting this as “I do NOT think he’s hot, shut up.”
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Happy Hobbit Day!
Gandalf in The Hobbit: You are Took and that makes you absolutely suited for adventure!
Gandalf in The Fellowship of the Ring: Who the FUCK let the Took come on this adventure?
He learned his lesson
I just had a dream about lord of the rings except they all had phones and gandalf kept getting mad at pippin for tweeting during battles
the biggest shock in the Lord of the Rings is not Frodo learning that the ring his uncle left him is the One Ring, nor Gimli discovering that Gandalf survived the fall from the bridge of Khazad-dûm, but Barliman the innkeeper hearing that the dirty old homeless man who used to live in the woods and would come in to bum a beer off him in exchange for a poem had just been crowned king of the entire world.
#and if he has any ounce of sense
#the very next day there should be a big-ass sign out front
#saying INN FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS! KING ELESSAR SLEPT HERE (via @tanadrin)
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Tolkien Pressure 85/? suggested by fate-motif
I absolutely love that hobbits have such a low threshold for weirdness or "not like folks round here" that a Ringwraith doesn't register as more than just a rather odd customer. because everyone is a rather odd customer. you're already tall and dressed funny, sure, you may as well have no face and hiss at people
they don't care enough to look at where their faces would be so they just never know and hissing is better than talking to them
