FIX THEIR HEARTS OR DIE

Happy Send Me On My Way Sunday

The Gaslighting Magician: This is your card

It’s so funny to me that soccer games can end with a score of 0-0 like imagine going to see a soccer game and both teams just run around the field for 90 minutes doing absolutely nothing and nobody scores any points and at the end of the 90 minutes they’re like well. Guess that’s that. Great soccer game guys.

stop tagging your heated rivalry bullshit with “game changer” im tryna look at gifsets of anna garcia beating up demi adejuyigbe while josh rueben fucks a sam reich mannequin in a baby carrier.

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about

Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.

What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.

The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”

The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.

Awfully defensive are we? I think the henchmen are onto something.

You know I didn’t intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator

Enemies to Queerplatonic

No.