big green wall

wow you got to the red stop light faster and more dangerously than anyone else. should we throw a party?? should we call nascar

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

MY cringefail baseball team THATS BOSTON BAYBEE 🦅🦅🦅

Hunters got so cooked they're gonna have to change their name to the Boston Baked Beans

It wouldn't be Boston Baseball if it didn't feel like divine punishment

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

the people yearn for nonplastic fabrics

I must sleep. Sleep is the mind-healer. Sleep is the big-life that brings total ability to fucking do anything. I will face my bed. I will permit the blankie to pass over me and snores to pass through me. And when sleep has gone past I will turn the outer eye to greet the new morning. When the sleep has gone there will be everything. Energy and will to live will remain.

screw bedtime 😈😈 tonight we are staying up until 9pm

Today is the only day you can summon the energy to reblog this.