Floating in limbo

Wizard who got tired of fighting and casts fucked up unethical spells like “super brain hemorrhage” to end them faster

One time I did “Summon Water” inside a guys lungs and the GM allowed it because he had been playing for years and never seen anyone do that

Me “I can raise the temperature of a space by 5 degrees (Fahrenheit) per success” DM “Okay.” Me “And that’s 6 successes, so 30 degrees…” DM “Okay…” Me “And ‘inside the human body’ is a space, right?” DM “…I don’t like where this is going.” Me “So I’m going to raise the temperature inside his body 30 degrees.” DM “Yeah, so he’s dead now. He was fine, and then went through all the stages of heat stroke in half a second before his body went ‘No thank you’ and just shut off to stop it from being so hot. Good job.”

one time i texted my fireman dad saying something was “lit” and he responded “please dont say that”

My dad has a hard time playing magic the gathering with me cause he’s a dealer at a casino, and I see his soul leave his body every time I shuffle my cards.

LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK

For those of you who aren’t going to vote in the 2020 election because Bernie or whoever didn’t win primaries.

Fuck you

i [23m] gave my girlfriend [21f] my discord password and she used it to hack into my account to change my theme from dark theme to light theme the new age of cyber crimes is here

remember when jared leto absolutely terrorized his suicide squad castmates and turned himself into a laughing stock bc he misinterpreted what method acting is, only to have 7 minutes of screen time and be cut from most of the film’s promotional material? i know it was a while ago now but i dnt think anything more satisfying will happen in our lifetime

ok but the full extent of margot robbie’s vindication is frankly legendary. she wanted a better chance to relish her role as Harley so, like an absolute icon, she went to warner brothers and pitched a movie to then. now we’re getting an r rated girl gang movie about harley getting out of her shitty relationship w/ joker and going on a chaotic ass roadtrip with a bunch of other female heroes. it’s going to be the first superhero movie directed by a woman of color and there are multiple major characters of color, including a Latina lesbian. can you believe margot robbie obliterated jared leto’s tired ass joker with one fell swoop?

and two really important updates: 1. all planned future appearances of Jared Leto as the joker (Joker solo movie, Joker/Harley movie, etc) have been indefinitely tabled, including his planned appearances in the Suicide Squad sequel, where he’s pretty much the only cast member of the first movie not returning 2. The Joker is confirmed to have a cameo in Margot’s Birds of Prey movie (likely for the scene where she leaves him). They’ve opted to use a body double for the part rather than inviting Leto to reprise his role

I will always love this.

This is the content I was looking for this evening

A man walked by me while I was working and now the floor suddenly feels wet?? Should I be alarmed??