yaya

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.

I suffer from something that can only be described as "grim postmonitions;" upon succeeding at a dangerous task, such as walking up an icy set of slate stairs, my mind flashes with all the ways it could have gone wrong, e.g. slipping and cracking my skull on the masonry. I become inordinately distressed at these visions, as if they are distinct, imminent threats, despite the danger having already passed

seeing images of Hudson Williams gives me the same feeling as when you’re giving a blowjob and the recipient is about to cum and your thumb on the underside of the dick can feel the volume and the velocity at which they are about to ejaculate and you know it’s too much too fast to swallow in one go so you have to make a split second decision whether to pull off or else it’s going to go up your nose. That’s how images of Hudson Williams make me feel. Like I’m about to have cum in my nose.

my cat fucking rocks she’ll eat a bug or a tomato and she don’t give a fuck about anything

if i gave her crystal meth she’d be like gimme that shit and swallow it raw