LOL CLT

Inflammatory Headline Provokes Heated Reaction

Unread Article’s Provocative Headline Gives Commenters Just Enough to Rant About Charlotte, NC: Based on the content of the headline alone, hundreds of internet commentators somehow had just enough information to form wildly biased and inaccurate arguments today. Despite the article having 0 views, social media users found countless ways to insult, berate and chide each other through the use of…

69 – In Defense of the Only Funny Number

Happy 6/9 everyone!

BREAKING: Comedy Open Mic List Scandal

Host of Open Mic Doctored Sign-up List to Favor Funny Comedians CHARLOTTE, NC: In a shocking scandal that is rocking the comedy world, Corey Robertson, local comedian and host of the weekly amateur open mic night at the Fort Mill Comedy Zone is accused of altering the order of the sign-up list in order to favor comedians that he personally knew were funny. “This is a disgusting perversion of…

I Wasted Money So You’d See This

I Ran Paid Social Media Ads So You Would Read This, But I Shouldn’t Have Today, online media is more crowded than ever. There are literally millions of articles on millions of websites vying for your attention. “Did you see the latest dress this celebrity wore?” the headlines ask. “People are Outraged Over This Thing!!! You’ll Never Guess Why!” they blare. With so much competition in the…

5 Tips To A Healthy Life No One Will Ever Read

If you’re like many of us, you want to get healthy but can’t figure out how! There are so many blogs dedicated to helping find a healthier you, but no one ever reads them and no one will ever read this either so what’s the point? Without further ado, here are the top five health tips that you can do today to make your life better, but you won’t because no one will ever even read this useless…

World So Absurd Parody Impossible EVERYWHERE: Comedians everywhere bowed their heads and observed a moment of silence in mourning as the National Association of Comedians (NAC) today declared satire dead. Satire, the use of irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics, was one of the oldest forms of…

Parenting: EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IS KILLING YOUR KIDS!!!!

LOLCLT Mommy Blogger: Cheryl DeHough You see it a lot: blogs telling you that this food or that toy is going to literally kill your child. News reports on television warn parents to watch out for creeps trying to kidnap their children. Every day millions of people online discuss the dangers of toxic chemicals that are hidden in everyday products. WELL GUESS WHAT IT’S ALL TRUE! EVERY WORD OF IT!!!…

Charlotte Entrepreneur Almost Launches Start-Up

Local Businessman Just Needs Funding, Office Space, Logo, and Business Idea To Launch “Disruptive” Start-Up Founder Promises Start-Up Will Be the “Uber” of Something.   CHARLOTTE, NC: Adam Devonte has a dream: to be the next Elon Musk. All he needs is a little help (and a good idea) and he’s certain his business will rocket to the top of the local business community. “Charlotte is a great city to…

Review: OMG This Yummy Food Is So Delish!!!

 LOLCLT FOOD CRITIC: Ashley Wilson So, like, today I was such a lazy fatty on the couch and trying to think about what to do and I asked my dogs and they were like, “OMG mom, you are totally cray-cray rn srsly!”. So, lacking their help I decided to try out this new restaurant I read about on my friend’s blog that she said was TOTES amazeballs. Guess What ? This Restaurant IS Amazeballs. When I…

#BREAKING: LOL CLT Purchased by Charlotte Agenda

We at LOL CLT are proud to announce our new business partnership as a wholly owned subsidiary of the Charlotte Agenda website. As the newest addition to the CA family, we will be pursuing hard-hitting coverage of all the hot-button local issues that matter to you – in a fun and quirky way. I know that some of our readers may find this move ironic – or even think that we are selling out. “But…

BREAKING: CHARLOTTE BOYCOTTS NORTH CAROLINA

CLT Mayor Bans All Non-Essential Employee Travel to North Carolina CHARLOTTE: Joining New York City, Seattle, West Virginia and many Fortune 500 companies, Charlotte Mayor Jennifer Roberts announced that the Queen City will boycott North Carolina based on the controversial HB2 measure, which removes protection from discrimination for LGBT individuals. “We cannot in good conscience do business…

VICTORY! Hero NC Republicans Ban Gay Poopers; All City Governments

Gov. McCrory Celebrating Discrimination NC Businesses May Now Legally Prohibit LGBT People From Pooping Law Also Bans Cities From Having Governments   DURHAM, NC: In a rousing special session of the North Carolina General Assembly, which cost taxpayers thousands of dollars, Republican leaders successfully banned all protection for lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgendered individuals in the state…

Poll: Should Charlotte Bicyclists Be Beheaded?

Chaos in Charlotte As I was driving home the other day, I noticed a person operating some kind of personally powered machine in the road. It was like a car, but only had two wheels – lined up from front to back and not side to side – with a small seat attached. The man was rotating his legs around at tremendous speed, somehow causing the wheels to be set in motion. The automobiles that were…

90s COMIC’S ACT SUDDENLY RELEVANT

Trump, Clinton, and OJ Jokes From 1995 Dusted Off and Reused; Local Comic Ecstatic CHARLOTTE, NC: Retired comedian “Diamond” Joe Wallace announced his comeback special this week, due to his entire hour-long comedy act from 1995 being culturally relevant again. “First the FX show about OJ and then they find that knife?!” said Wallace, grinning from ear-to-ear, “I have a solid 30 on OJ alone. And…