Whenever I see people talk about all our yesterdays it's always about the homoerotic value of spock throwing McCoy up against a wall, or how it doesn't make any sense that spock going back in time would make him act like a pre surak vulcan. Both correct and interesting and good to talk about.
I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did and now I'm sure". Fucking?? This line puts their whole dynamic in an extremely interesting new light because yeah, doctor mccoy routinely says some pretty racist shit to him, but it's generally seen as okay because spock gives as good as he gets most of the time and they're both clearly having fun bickering.
But in an unguarded moment we find out that no, that part of it is something that spock merely tolerated and there's some (thoroughly repressed I'm sure) resentment that's been bubbling under the surface for god knows how long.
We the audience know that spock has a good deal of baggage about his whole situation but did mccoy know? Was he aware that he even could hurt his friend in this way? I don't think so, and I wonder if there would have been some kind of follow up to this if the show was more serialized (or if it wasn't the sixties).
Ig that's what fanfic is for but I can't find anything that scratches this particular itch. Like, if I was a writer I'd have mccoy get awkward around spock for a little bit, like, their usual banter gets weird and stilted, maybe spock misinterprets this, thinks he's mad at him. But then on a mission, spock like, throws himself in front of a train to save jim or some shit. Whatever, he does something insane without checking with anyone because he's decided it's the logical thing to do and he would never act impulsively, of course not doctor. And then mccoy realizes that this is the most frustrating man who ever lived and there are many reasons to yell at him that aren't xenophobic.
(Boy I sure hope nobody steals this idea and puts it on ao3 and maybe sends me a link, I would hate that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,)
