Haruspex

Don't like that Elon Musk is turner-diary-posting on main.

I think there is a racial angle.

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

Let's all go out for tinis and bruschetta and not invite pjackk

One reason the US is considering acquiring Greenland is to secure access to seafood that could potentially bring back unlimited shrimp at Red Lobster. - US official to the New Yorker

george washington was the first king, and his rule lasted from the year 0 to 1776. he clipped his toenails in the west and the rocky mountains piled up. bored one night, he ejaculated in the headwaters of the mississippi and by the time his sperm reached the delta, they had matured to adult men: the first Americans. during his reign great infrastructure projects were undertaken; he personally oversaw the construction of the brooklyn bridge and the chicago bean. he was succeeded upon his death by little gay bitch thomas jefferson

robbing the peter guy in order to pay the paul guy

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth