can't stop, won't stop groovin'

I am delighted to share the last of my artworks for the 2025 Mo Dao Zu Shi Reverse Big Bang! Here we have two scenes of Cat!LWJ in a conundrum (he’s a cat) and single dad Wei Ying going through it.

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

The 十恶不赦 shi’e bushe / Ten Unforgivable Abominations was a list of the worst crimes a person could commit, codified into law during the Sui Dynasty. The Ten Unforgivable Abominations were the only cases where the Eight Deliberations (a set of principles used to lessen the punishment for members of the imperial family/aristocracy) were not applicable.

The Ten Unforgivable Abominations were:

謀反 moufan: plotting rebellion

謀大逆 moudani: plotting damage to royal temples, imperial halls, and altars for sacrifice

謀叛 moupan: plotting defection to another state

恶逆 e’ni: plotting to murder one’s parents, grandparents, or any elder relatives 

不道 budao: murdering three or more innocents; brutalizing their bodies; using poison to kill

大不敬 dabujing: displaying great irreverence towards the emperor

不孝 buxiao: displaying lack of filial piety by treating one’s parents badly or violating mourning periods

不睦 bumu: causing discord by harming one’s in-laws

不义 buyi: unrighteous conduct, including murdering one’s superiors

内乱 neiluan: incest

(paraphrased from the Wikipedia page and the Baidu-Baike page)

You want my thoughts? Here are my thoughts:

now, instead of maintaining a comprehensive, nuanced, and human-maintained encyclopedia by which to check your document, they have switched to an AI that just compares what you’ve written to what other people write in, say, Google Docs, and use the most commonly used iteration.

ever have it change something like “all intents and purposes” to “all intensive purposes” or “should’ve” to “should of”? that’s why!

I read this! :

@guqin-and-flute expressed a sadness that there aren't more 3zun smooches in the world, so obviously I had to remedy that!!!

based on @lilnasxvevo 's post here because I COULD NOT RESIST. where is the subgenre of 3zun reconciliation fics where xiyao have to fuck nmj back to health???? where is it???? wen qing is here because reasons. don't question it.

doubly hilarious if this is an AU where jgy has already begun to try and use Music Makes You Lose Control - nmj has to go to his sworn brothers and explain that his doctor thinks bottoming might fix him better than music, and whilst lxc is smiling politely and doing worldslongestyeahboi.mp4 in his head, jgy is sitting there frantically trying to figure out how he could poison nmj with his dick instead.

(he doesn't kill nmj because jgy is so fucking touch-starved that after one midweek sex break with da-ge and er-ge he's full of so much serotonin and so de-stressed that he goes back to Koi Tower like :) :) not giving this up :) :) patricide time :) :) ......also the alternative is to try and explain to his dad why he's not playing Evil Music anymore and what he's doing instead, and there is a non-zero chance his dad will respond to this by trying to make him a fulltime sex assassin. so yeah! :) PROMOTION TIME ZIXUAN-GE :) )

and obviously, when the new "treatment" clearly begins to work...

“Nobody in the world has hands this soft.”

“You look like you need a hug.”

“Well, if I tell you, then it wouldn’t be a secret.”

“I need a foot massage, pronto.”

“Wash your hands, then hug me.”

“Can we share the blanket?”

“You’re adorable when you’re mad.”

“Are you sure you’re not cold?”

“I want to spend all my time with you.”

“Ready for our dance?”

“You mean more than anything.”

“You’re cute even when you make that face.”

“Keep it.”

“Your eyes are beautiful.”

“Time for a pillow fight.”

“Is that my shirt?”

“I don’t wanna go without you.”

“Move over.”

“When I’m with you, nothing else matters.”

“I planned the perfect date.”

“Is this romantic enough for you?”

“Stop making me laugh!”

“Take my jacket.”

“That looks hard. Let’s switch.”

“I can’t be mad at you.”

“I love you, but you need to shut up.”

“I love your smile.”

“Gimme your hand.

“You smell fantastic.”

“Thanks for marrying me.”

“I made dinner. Surprise!”

“Don’t touch me while I’m trying to fall asleep.”

“I can’t believe you did this for me.”

“I have never loved you as much as I do right now.”

“I wouldn’t wanna fight you. You’re pretty feisty.”

“Is it weird that was a total turn on?”

“You could always go nude.”

“They’re coming. Kiss me!”

“I’m flattered you’re jealous.”

“I want a baby.”

“Cheers to you and me.”

“Would you warm me up?”

“That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard.”

“All I want is you.”