Hope everyone is jerking off 2day. Dont let Christ win ❤️

you may spank it… once still remains the funniest image ever created on this bitch of an earth

t shirt that says “i used to be worse”

i relate to patrick bateman not because i hate women or gay people or whatever but because i too can sit on my ass and do fuck all every day and my internal monologue will be like "i'm deranged. i'm inhuman. i'm a twisted fucking cycle path

why does cooking takes like six hours and eating like three seconds and washing dishes like seven days and seven nights

Me, still insane: I used to be sooo crazy

i wish cleaning the dishes was more fun. specially the bottles

after seeing your friends for a few hours sometimes u walk away and return home with a little ball of glowing golden light in your chest

I miss when things used to be a bit ugly…. That’s when people had so much fun… now everyone is beautiful and untouchable and boring and sterilized…. Maybe fashion was weird back in the day and no one took proper care of their skin n whatever but at least people were having fun, at least people tried to be original and weird and fun instead of just being online . Maybe Sumtimes U have 2 go out on a summer day and have so much fun that u forgot to reapply sunscreen…. Maybe that’s what life is about ! Hmm….

what is it about pussy that needs ice. like it's a match made in heaven. even if it was in the fridge before i still pour it over ice

so i meant, and fully thought i typed, pepsi