Made of Ticky Tacky

i just came back to my desk after feeling really frustrated by an instrument in the lab that broke and ruined my data for the day, and found a churro wrapped in tinfoil with a sticky note on it that said "bucket list: ☑️ churro" and i'm

You're telling me the mail service is handing you this highly accessible Akira Toriyama-esque piece of gold and you're spitting in their faces?!?!

Not only that, they have more cargo space for mail, have a larger front front windshield so they'll be able to see better as they drive, and they're electric!

Plus, you know how old the previous trucks were? Half of em didn't have A/C.

I'm glad they're investing in the postal service, especially considering they've been trying to nerf it for years now and pushing us to use private delivery companies that are worse and for-profit.

In fact I want MORE cars that look like this! I hope every car in the future looks like this!

*they designed it for the extremes, not the averages.*

Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)

The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)

The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.

Web page reads "you last visited this page on 10/8/22"

mfw

Me: yeah... whatever idc