Mendacious Thot

Drives me genuinely insane that kids-only spaces on the internet like Club Penguin were destroyed because companies realised that there’s only so much profit you can squeeze out of children with no disposable income, so now kids are being forced into adult spaces on the internet where the profit model is to find the most viewers you can passively expose to ads that nobody is clicking on so all online media is slowly turning into Mr Beast Elsagate nightmares, and for adults this means giving your ID to companies owned by businessmen with Epstein connections to keep the kids “safe.” Clown internet.

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

Delete this account immediately.

boobs up my ass

And out

I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

stop trying to make every single drawing a magnum opus. you cannot unleash your art ult until you charge it up with a bunch of shitty little doodles first.

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

i miss everyone

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

her eyes were the sickly green of the sky before a tornado, and to his horror he discovered she could throw cows around just as easily

to his horror? weak shit. outta my way gayboy im boutta get it

Basically I like when there’s garlic and onion