Deploy the bits

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

you would think, like, "oh, we've already thought of all the metaphorical ways we can say penis/vagina. we've already come up with the full list of nicknames. we have exhausted the list of innuendos. there is nothing else new to be said about this" and then you'll open a random explicit fic and make the most improbable linguistic discovery of all time

would you like to share with the class 🤔

saw the term "gummy walls" last night and had to sit alone with god for a minute

would you like to unshare with the class

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

a quirk of sexting while british is switching from arse to ass. i would never fuck someone in the arse. its impolite.

If you're one in a million but there is 8.3 billion people in the world there's like. 8 thousand and change of you

i love queerplatonic relationships where one of them is aroace and the other isn't. i love when the allo character has a crush that fades over time. i love when they don't care what they are to each other as long as they're together. i love when romance is an option that they don't choose. i love when both aros and allos feel fulfilled without romance or sex.

pop health science is so annoying bc it'll be like "did you know? eating strawberries will give you mega cancer" and you're like pfft whatever begone influencer. but sometimes then you'll see a reasonably credible article like "Study Shows Possible Link Between Strawberries and Mega Cancer" and you're not usually the type to follow that kind of thing religiously but idk maybe you should consider not eating strawberries? but then there's another article saying "Strawberry/Mega Cancer Study Debunked" and it turns out the original study had a sample size of 3 and was funded by Big Blueberry, and strawberries may have a small connection to mega cancer but only if you are genetically predisposed to mega cancer and eat 50 strawberries every day. so you return to your strawberry eating life. but whenever you eat strawberries in public someone tells you about the mega cancer.