Deploy the bits

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

[steals your baby immediately after his birth][raises him][trains him in the ways of an ancient martial art invented by cormorant fishers in 700 ad for 13 years][enters him in a tournament][he loses in 4 rounds] ok whatever. you can have him back

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

oh, did I ever tell you about [thing I've told you about no fewer than four times, opening on exactly this sentence every single one of those times]

(with the intention of ordering grapes from the lemonade stand) hey

Stop saying “do it scared” i do everything scared I sleep scared Boy i’ll kill u

coming up with sexual roleplay scenarios about growing up Upper-Middle Class

Hey, it looks like your parents aren't home because they're still at their Well-Paid White Collar Jobs...why not stop playing with that New Videogame Console and come have some real fun with me in your Bedroom You Don't Share With Any Siblings ;)

Currently boiling Three count em Three baby carrots to feed my bugs because one person on reddit said their bugs liked that 👍

do you fuck with my unwritten story

do you fuck with the weird guy i made