"americans do [thing]?!!?! 🫨😧" and it was smthg one person saw a single us-american do and now theyre somehow all convinced its true, despite all the us-americans telling them otherwise
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@linogram
"americans do [thing]?!!?! 🫨😧" and it was smthg one person saw a single us-american do and now theyre somehow all convinced its true, despite all the us-americans telling them otherwise

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train A is already here, but it leaves 5 min after train B (which is not here yet and keeps getting more and more delayed) is supposed to leave and will get to your destination 20 min after train B is supposed to (including the current delay) and it is 10C out, do you go to train A to get out of the cold and have a guaranteed train or do you wait for train B and hope it comes before train A does and gets you home earlier?
Gotta catch em all
you don't even have a dog
everyone jokes about Gardevoir trainers being horny freaks but I think Gardevoir trainers would actually be posting like irl doll collectors
They’d be posting ”An exquisite day for a most elegant lady” and then a picture of the cutest tea party you have ever seen for a Gardevoir wearing a lovely little hat
the real horny freaks would be posting shit like “go my loyal minions” and then a video of them siccing 6 Galarian zigzagoon on a dumpster
These tags are too good to be transitory

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[Image description: a tweet from user @derpswan that reads: "the fire department are trying to show they're supportive but I'm fully dying at the implication that we will simply just all burn". Attached is an image of a firetruck with the progress pride flag painted on it; the outline of a lavender cityscape adorns the bottom, purple stripe. In the middle of the flag is a white rectangle with black text superimposed on it that reads "FIRE DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE". End description]
Lets hear it for Malicious Compliance
*filming literal mold* “There is a bit of a damp problem…” The signs saying “DON’T BUY THIS” are a beautiful touch.
Official silly sign(s)
being anti-divorce is so fucking bonkers to me like yeah i think you're morally obligated to stay with some shithead who you hate forever. this is a normal and healthy thing to believe. let's have kids together and force them to grow up being raised by two people who hate each other. yeah this might fuck them up mentally during the most formative years of their life but it's the morally righteous thing to do. if there's one thing god loves it's traumatized children. i'm getting into heaven for sure
went up to each meet and greet w a simple 3 step plan and was unable to stray very far from that, so it was just "hi, how are u?" -> "this is for u" -> "would u sign this?" -> "thank you" + photo

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cleo scolding ppl for not signing / including their names on their art, which like i did sign my stuff, but i didnt include a name so its just a heart w a "K" next to it
Id fuck tigress from king fu panda
but would she fuck you? humble yourself
happy pride to all my aspecs and arospecs out there
happy pride to asexuals
happy pride to aromantics
happy pride to aplatonics
happy pride to aroaces
happy pride to alloaces
happy pride to alloaros
happy pride to het aces/aros
happy pride to demi romantics/sexuals
happy pride to grey romantics/sexuals
happy pride to ace/arospecs in platonic, romantic, and/or sexual relationships, or relationships that dont fit into any of those categories
happy pride to ace/arospecs who aren't in relationships and never want to be
happy pride to people who use microlables to describe their ace/arospec identity
we are all valid and we belong in this community no matter what anyone says. we deserve pride too.
Any character can be aromantic if you try hard enough. Be the change you want to see in the world.
I only identified as a lesbian for a very brief period but straight girls do this realllllly bizarre thing where they ask you if you have a crush on them or who you think the hottest girl in a certain group is and get offended if you say no or refuse to answer. It’s like walking on a tightrope over a lake of fire, there is no good answer to give. Inside, you know if you were to say “Yes, I think you’re very attractive, I’m into you.” they would definitely weaponize that against you or treat you like a perv but if you say “No, you’re not my type, I’m not interested in you.” they act soooooooo wounded. And I’m sure some straight girls who do this are not entirely straight and were interested in feeling me out but I do think there are a lot of straight girls who do this as some form of power play. Anyway, it was so weird. And they have the audacity to act like lesbians are sexually inappropriate bullies.

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open tumblr, see something that pisses me off, write a snarky post, delete it, write a slightly more earnest post, edit it for 5 minutes, delete it, close tumblr
rocky always yells “enrichment for grace! enrichment for grace!” when he has a new invention to make the humans time more interesting on erid. grace, while appreciative, replies ‘I know I’m in a zoo enclosure but could we maybe not call it that? I feel like a bear getting thrown a pumpkin covered in peanut butter.’ rocky simply gives him a thumb, not wanting to explain that a significant amount of the population sees grace as the celebrity savior scientist who rocky keeps as a controversially young trophy wife and publicly lavishes in gifts
Love this bc Grace's age by their standards is very very young despite Grace being mature by his species standards
I keep imagining so many Eridians secretly calling Rocky a pebble snatcher lmao