Bachoi

this is so kind! sometimes I worry that what I'm doing is more akin to treating my blorbos like a math equation I can solve by simplifying my fractions to the smallest possible denominator 😅

i think he is angry at her for not holding up her end of the contract. i don’t see him being mad at her for using grigori for his money, but he considers relationships to be contractual in nature. there’s a ledger (and thus anyone mistreating him is either a result of his failure to perform or their duplicity). so with polina, she’s trading sex for security, he has no issue with that; but then she abandons grigori when he is sick. that is not the contract. and her absconding means it falls onto HIM so he has very real resentment. ilya is really really against exploitation, by which i mean he views everything as an exchange. duty is paramount. relationships have prices to him. he will sign on the dotted line and despite everything else about him he really does view his word as binding. he’s very traditional and conservative in some ways.

so so so true

no that totally makes sense they’re coming from like… an asking vs telling cultural divide except it’s a personal psychological culture not like a broader culture

we need to EMBRACE delusional shane. post fanmail he has EARNED a surveillance state paranoia breakdown. the cameras are everywhere and they are watching everything. i think he should also have an escalating case of dysmorphia where he is CERTAIN there is something wrong with his body he can FEEL that something is wrong and nobody else can see it why the fuck can’t anyone else see it. give him delusional parasitosis. it would be enriching. like i am sorry but suicidal shane is not only out of character it’s also boring. there are far better things to do to that man.

and then the sexuality thing, i think they’ve discussed that shane is obviously gay, and yuna says it’s his business, he’ll come to us when he’s ready, and david knows that’s probably not true. but david also doesn’t want to talk to shane about being gay. david would be fine if shane never brought it up. he’s from a very don’t ask don’t tell generation, where a man’s business is his business. it’s notable that once pasta dinner occurs yuna is like, okay boys game on, let’s discuss You Being Gay. what’s the plan what’s the deal what’s happening. and david is like. “well i buy that shane is gay, we all knew that. but i don’t for one second think the epitome of masculinity ROZANOV is a fairy.” david get it the fuck together. can you imagine coming out to your parents and they believe YOU’RE gay but NOT that your boyfriend is. yet another mark in the Everyone On Earth Knows There’s Something Off About Shane Hollander column. like the audacity. his own parents just quietly accepting that there’s something wrong with shane that nobody ever needs to talk about.

idk i always come back to the sasha scene where ilya gets yelled at by his very traditional dad and then immediately in the following scene pivots to parroting that rhetoric and attitude. sasha ought to be grateful. it’s immature for sasha to live his life doing whatever he wants bringing shame to his father. sasha doesn’t know loyalty. sasha is a child. sasha is pathetic. you can really see the self-hate being regurgitated.

i think shane is just such a fundamentally private person who has been given so little privacy throughout his life that he was planning to never come out and just start appearing at NHL events post-retirement with his Business Partner ilya rozanov. yes shane hollander brand corporation and ilya rozanov brand corporationare registered to the same address. what’s the business. it’s. housing. well. one house. no further questions at this time.

ilya does not really believe in individualism or the self-made man or meritocracy in the way that shane does. he’s got that um. what’s it called. i guess you could call it an honor culture actually. his personal value and worth are defined relationally. this is why somebody smarter than me should write about shane&ilya and individualism&collectivism.

anyways i think ilya would have been a side piece for life RIP to that man born to be a mistress he has the low self esteem and mania to pull it off. shane would be like well i just don’t think we need to cheapen things by defining us. we know what we are to each other. and ilya would nod and say of course solnyshko. and then he would be so good at losing his mind when shane wins third stanley cup and doesn’t text or call him all night and ilya drives to montreal to key shane’s car and break his tv while wearing a big fur coat, mascara metaphorically running down his face.

like not to put too fine a point on it but suicidal people with untreated PTSD can do terrible things, and that’s usually a sign that they are in urgent crisis, that you need to act immediately, because pushing everyone away from you as hard as you can and crossing the line that (you think) you can never come back and finally being fully doomed and damned and unforgivable and provably evil is the last step of the process. so like now shane can’t tell anyone about literally any negative aspect of their relationship because then ilya is left without any support system at all, so instead shane is stuck going no baby it wasn’t that bad it’s all fine, because otherwise ilya is taking a header off the nearest ugly ottawa bridge!! this is why couples need separate friend groups.

toil and trouble by thathastu