Stories Are My Life

take me to church

Running into this on my dash was like running into an old friend

Thats just what theater kids are like

I can but aspire to the level of expressiveness Cosmo Brown has with his face.

for some reason the idea of a caveman stubbing his toe and going “oh fuck oh shit” is so funny to me, like people have been experiencing little agonies like getting hangnails or burning their fingers while stoking the fire for hundreds of thousands of years, a dude 40,000 years ago rolling his ankle chasing a mammoth and absolutely eating shit and falling face first in front of all of his buddies and then standing up and trying to play it off…..so embarrassing

The idea of ancient children going to play with their parent's tools and breaking one only to panic and set it back in place like it never happened? Amazing. Dude getting a bruise from hitting the ground too hard after falling from a tree and lying about it? Incredible.

This is a bit more recent but I’m reminded of the archeological find of a 3000 year old pot somebody burned cheese to the bottom of and they just threw the whole thing away. Were they worried their mama was going to be upset they fucked up the pot? Was cleaning it too much work? Were they really embarrassed? I’ve totally been there. I’ve thrown away a pot I scorched too badly in the past year.

People with 3D printers who make prosthetic fingers and limbs at home are about to come out with some truly wild DUNE ass shit

My toxic trait is thinking I would recognize Tony Hawk if I saw him in real life

When I complain about increased surveillance, control, and infantilization of older kids and young adults, it's often a level of surveillance and control that wouldn't have been possible, or at least practical, in previous generations. At minimum, it would've been escapable.

Coming from the kind of community where most people still live near their parents and still see them most days, when I was growing up it was hard to tell straight away whose children-that-moved-away had just got a good job in a city, and whose children had just needed to leave so much that they took the first train south and never looked back.

I can’t even begin to imagine how many episodes would be improved just by Picard giving a stumbling, awkward exposition of the episode’s plot to the crew

ALL episodes could be improved if we saw Picard’s awkward, stumbling exposition to the crew of what’s going on that episode. In fact, I really wanna see that.

“Attention crew, this is your captain speaking. You may notice my voice sounds different, and uh, long story short, I’m 12 again. Another transporter thing, we should really get that looked at. Anywhooo if a little blonde kid starts ordering you around, don’t ignore him, because it’s me. Ok. Bye.”

“Okay so, you may have noticed large parts of the ship transforming into some kind of Mayan temple, and Commander Data running around and talking in several different voices. We are aware of the situation and taking steps to restore things to normal.”

“There will be a flute recital this evening in Ten Forward, performed by your Captain. All officers are requested to attend. No, he didn’t play the flute yesterday. Yes, he is now a life-long expert. No, this is not the result of a transporter incident. At least, not ours.”

‘Cave Johnson here. Due to a multidimensional mix up involving portal technology and something you idiots call “transporters” I’ll be temporarily taking over these announcements. Captain Picard is presumably fine and will assume control over the ship once we find all the bits. In the meantime, who wants to do some SCIENCE?”