☭w☭

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

Yeehaw yall. Gracie is on the run.

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

Imagine if a like 8 foot tall guy that looked kinda like an alien species just kinda showed up at the house you rent a room in and crashed on the couch and at first everyone hated him but you kinda just accepted this weird massive kinda-human alien species thing as a part of your group even though he's like twice the size of everyone else there

Cuz that's literally happening to sea lions in San Francisco right now

just saw a deactivated mutual's post on my dash. that's my dead wife's corpse you're all dragging around

I also reblog this guys dead wife.

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

Btw this was all because I was looking for information about the toothpaste I buy and I found a subreddit where people are posting pics of their collections of the toothpaste tubes

cream cheese bagel ending explained

cream cheese bagel ending explained explained

Across tumblr no one owns a truck for clout and that’s quite a good thing.

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck