LetsGetBrave

ilya is rolling and having the time of his fucking life covered in neon paint and body glitter and also a nasty fucking sunburn and getting hauled into shane’s emt tent because his dumbass doesn’t think he needs water to live and shane cooling him down with a towel on his head and getting him water

“Are you an angel??”

“No. Drink some water.”

“Mmmm no. I think you are angel.”

“If that’s what it takes to get you drinking water then sure. Whatever.”

they met at some sort of fundraiser or event and she strikes up a conversation with him, and at the end of the night she oh so subtly asks if he wants to grab dinner (food at tthe event sucked) to finish their conversation about the technical differences between mens and womens professional hockey, an offer shane takes very literally because he's very invested now and actually enjoying this conversation, and at the time has very firmly drawn the line in his head that there is absolutely nothing possibly romantic about hockey.

when her teammates ask her how the night went the victorie player is like "he was really nice, listened intently to everything i had to say, laughed at my jokes, paid for dinner, didn't tell me about how much more difficult mens hockey is. he treated me like the best conversation partner he's had in a while. he's gay. he just doesn't know it yet."

it becomes a thing that anytime the montreal mens and womens teams are at an event together, all the women love talking to shane, and his teammates (who don't know about the not-date because he's never mentioned it) tease him about how he's such a ladies man and he should ask one of them out, they'd definitely say yes. meanwhile the victories all like him because he's actively not hitting on them or talking over them and he really just wants to talk about hockey.

like they're so used to every conversation with an nhl player ending his him disrespecting the pwhl in some way and acting like they should be impressed he's a professional athlete (like they aren't professional athletes too!!) meanwhile shane starts conversations with "so i watched the documentary you recommended on the first womens olympic hockey team and-"

And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.

You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho

If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.

10-pause-10-pause-10-long pause, lean down to kiss-10-pause-10-pause-10.

This is a man who is VIOLENTLY aware that when it comes to conservatives, he is a Muslim first, a Brown Man second, an Immigrant third, a Socialist fourth, and a human a very distant fifth, if considered at all. He was also a young adult during the Obama Years and will have seen Republicans rip Obama to shreds for wearing a tan suit instead of a dark one and use literally ANY excuse they could to try and degrade his image.

complicating this is that shane IS a little bit in love with melissa. NOT romantically or anything, but he went in already SO apologetic because he knows firsthand that having to work around his needs is a pain, and her job is just supposed to be optimizing nutrition to make sure he can deliver a good performance, and and and-

and melissa's eyes instead lit up because this is her SHIT. she fucking LOVES THIS. like shane went in expecting annoyance or at least frustration and instead got enthusiastic "let's fucking GOOOOO" energy because melissa fucking LOVES her job, and shane is a fun challenge that pushes her skills in research and creativity and adaptation.

and in my head, melissa is one of the dieticians who goes into the field because they themselves had experience with disordered eating, and so in my heart, melissa was a varsity athlete who knows firsthand how fucked up the culture around food gets in sports, so optimizing nutrition AND promoting healthy, balanced ideas around nutrition are very important for her. so also seeing shane get more comfortable over time contacting her and asking questions and even making requests (!! requests!! yay!! he has preferences beyond requirements!!!) is extremely personally satisfying in how it is fucking EXACTLY what she got into this field for.

also: melissa has been in sports nutrition for 10 years by the time she first meets shane after she transfers in from another team's nutrition department. she has met plenty of shitty men in this job who either don't respect her expertise or even try to fucking mansplain HER OWN GODDAMN FIELD TO HER. like yeah some of them listen and ask questions and respect her degree, but some of them are also assholes because this is Macho Man Sport. shane, though?? fucking LOVES outsourcing decisions. he LOVES that shit. so shane with her?? respectful, always listens, defers to her as an authority on the thing she's spent years of her life studying, and is genuinely appreciative of her. so polite. so genuinely relieved to have her make choices for him.

so like. yeah. shane and melissa?? CONSTANTLY in touch. 100% looks like he might be in love with her even though she is about 15 years older than him (and unknown to anyone else in the workplace, a lesbian). and for her part? melissa is very fond of shane. he is a very rewarding client and she also has a soft spot for the fact that food specifically is very difficult for him. he's literally a fucking perfect case of why she got into this field.

this does lead to the EXTREMELY funny gossip in the montreal rumor mill that shane is "cheating" on melissa with boston lily, thus having a woman in two cities, and tbh? it gets him cred with the guys that he doesn't know he has. they respect the game. and then he starts dating ROSE LANDRY????

shane??? IN FRONT OF MELISSA YOU'RE DOING THIS???

NEARLY because Shane Hollander catches her with his professional athlete reflexes. With no room to move on the crowded steps, he pulls her into a bridal carry like she weighs peanuts and twists and shuffles her to a seat. He places her down gently and gets on one knee to ask if she’s ok. She is truly swooning. Everyone in the stadium is swooning.

Shane rights himself and to his surprise a grown woman and girlfriend of his teammate is requesting “uppies”. He tries to laugh it off. Dr. Lisa Hayes announces “You guys are amateurs, watch this!”

She sprints up a couple of steps, turns, and jumps. Shane catches her immediately, but flops her into a fireman carry. He goes full captain about how unsafe this is and they should all know better. He then puts Lisa down just as gently and she high-fives the new girl with no remorse.