College advisors speak to you like you’re both in a dream

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

men will say “princess treatment ❤️” and then it’s just how i normally treat the cashier at the store

if I’m president first thing I’m doing is banning artists from releasing slow acoustic covers of bangers

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

everythings a joke now and its all funny as fuck too but sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach

the enlightened pervert can look beyond kink to find meaning. and then get horny about the meaning instead.

*looking in the mirror* You are not morrissey. You are a friendly, charming, driven young woman. Not morrissey. Do not think, "I am morrissey"

up yours woke moralists. we'll see who cancels who (disembowels myself)

i hate seeing men happy. cancel the world cup