ahh h.. .

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

Just so you know, you can go to TACO BELL and eat TACO to replenish your health in between battles. Here, I've marked it on your map for you.

“are you ok?” lol fuck no

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

Computer loves to be like "fuck! You sure you want to shut down? Youve got volume mixer open"

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

28 is the oldest you can get in your 20s. 29 is crazy young like leave them alone weirdo. 30 is old 31 is super young

has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

i dont get the appeal of tomodachi life miis with their entire face drawn on. yeah whatever they look cool but now theyre cardboard. that dude is cardboard forever. she cant emote. she cant blink. she cant smile. she cant cry. does she feel joy? sadness? anger? we will never know. all because you needed hyperrealistic junko enoshima