Not today Justin
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@lesbianismst
Bisexuals don’t have straight privilege because bisexual people aren’t straight. To make this argument is to argue that trans men aren’t really men. Why are y’all sooooo desperate to invalidate your own gender just to argue that you have Super Special Baby Boy Oppression. It’s embarrassing
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I'm just going to say it - body hair (and beauty standards in general) is truly one of the final frontiers of women's issues in the West. Too many women just love their gilded cage too much. It shocks me how virulently women will defend it. I barely open my mouth and the "well I like how it feels. it just makes me feel cleaner. sensory issues. I do it for me. feminism is about choosing (to conform)." brigade come rushing in by the dozens.
Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.
You genuinely can't even point out that hairlessness is a man-made standard without women losing their shit and acting like they are totally immune to propaganda they've been exposed to from birth. I'm so tired.
Personal Ads for Pride!
Okay dykes let's do it! We're going to host personals on here. The goal is to get you connected with each other in fun and fabulous ways! Whether you're interested in something friendly, flirty, romantic, sexy, or something else more creative, send in your personal ads via the submission box.
I've updated our submissions page with some quick info and more tags. Use that link or type it in at farmerlesbian.tumblr.com/submit to create your personal. You can request to make your personal ad anonymous, just make sure to include some method of contact information for interested parties to reach you.
If you see a personal ad that you're interested in, you can comment on the post or reach out to the poster to express your interest. If you do not hear back from someone you messaged, please do not repeatedly message them.
Everyone - be gracious, be respectful, have fun!
This is a work in progress so if you have issues, ideas, or feedback, please let me know, I'm happy to hear it! If you experience any problems or there is any harassment that I may be able to help with, please do not hesitate to let me know and I will work with you.
Judith Butler, philosopher: ‘If you sacrifice a minority like trans people, you are operating within a fascist logic’
really losing my patience for any 'feminist' statement to the tune of 'we need feminism because women fill a fundamentally different and necessary role than men and will be better at doing x y or z'. like actually i think we need feminism because it is an unbearable death of the spirit by inches to exist in a world where you are not seen as a fully realized human being because of a single cultural determination, and because a world that enshrines such things creates systems that are fundamentally sick to the core
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whether or not men benefit from feminism has no bearing on whether feminism is worthwhile
put another way. i dont care about how men are impacted by feminism
already have people mad about this. okay here's another take. men should be feminists for no benefit.
just as white people should be anti-racism for no benefit, and cis people should be pro-trans for no benefit. the only "benefit" that should be required is the creation of a more just world, not because you, personally, actually do get something out of it.
Let me settle the 'is it fetishism and is it bad?' debate once and for all:
Being attracted to any kind of body is normal. Fat bodies. Trans bodies. Disabled bodies. All normal. Being extra attracted to a specific kind of body is normal too. Totally normal to have a type.
Not unlearning the societal stigma attached to those kinds of bodies, the people who inhabit those bodies, and the people who fuck them, to the point where you do any of the following:
Only want to date/fuck the person in secret.
Reduce the person to the feature that you desire and ignore the rest of who they are as a person.
Expect the person to be a walking porn fantasy instead of a real person with their own sexual preferences and boundaries.
Would no longer love the person if the stigmatized aspect of their body changed.
Consider yourself superior to the person, think the person should be 'grateful' that you love their body, etc.
See the person as a temporary adventure while planning to eventually settle down with someone whose body isn't stigmatized.
Is bad and harmful and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you've worked on your shit, because this makes you a very terrible partner. This doesn't mean you are a bad person with bad-fetishist-desires who can only desire people badly, it means you need to unlearn societal stigma so you can be a better partner to the people you desire.
Thank you for coming to me ted talk.
you cannot make a post about how men put women in certain boxes without someone going "but what if i love the box? what if i've decided that it's comfortable in the box? are you gonna tell me i'm not ALLOWED to like the box? not very feminist of you to police a woman's decisions... maybe you'd be less ugly and miserable if you stopped talking about the box LMFAO #Girlboss #MyBox<3"
#and its like. 'what if ive decided its comfortable to be in the box' it is always going to be more comfortable to be in the box #they will reward you for staying in the box and punish you for trying to leave it #that doesnt mean the box is like. a good place to be — @butchfaith
"a woman who's willing to fuck men is actually more queer than a lesbian" actually i think you just hate women
i'm not interested in making space for trans men in lesbianism. there's no reason they have to suddenly give up their lesbian friends, their "community", but Lesbians do not need to make a special little bioessentialist seat at the table for straight men. it does not ever need to happen. this shit pisses me off so bad
yknow what post i hate? that post about how "sometimes a dyke will mistake a twink for another dyke and vice versa and they'll make out and it's not actually straight it's Extra Special Queer, even more Queer than usual!" no what you just described is at best a silly mistake. it's not More Queer for a lesbian to make out with twinks. it's not Extra Special 5D Gender Chess for a lesbian to kiss a man. why are you so obsessed with making sure every lesbian knows she should really kiss men? why is making straightness Queer the hill you want to die on? why do you hate lesbians so bad
I think the thing transandro bros fundamentally do not understand is that, our worst case scenario as trans men is being seen as ugly weird women. And yeah that sucks. But trans women’s worst case scenario isn’t being seen as men. They are never viewed or treated as cis men are. Their worst case scenario is that they are completely unpersoned.
Reversing that, a trans man’s best case scenario is being perceived and treated as a cis man. Which is to say, receiving an immense amount of privilege. A trans woman’s best case scenario is being treated as a cis woman, and facing the brunt of all the misogyny implied there within.
Of trans men and trans women, only one group ever gets the privilege of being seen as men and navigating through the world that way. Not all trans men get that. But trans men never get unpersoned the way trans women do on the basis of gender.
In the narratives of transphobes, trans men are never the perpetrators, never the problem. We are always victims of “the trans cult,” autistic women lead astray. Think of Irreversible Damage, of their obsession with our reproductive organs. This narrative is awful. It is dangerous. But it is just flat out not what trans women get stuck with.
Trans women are stuck being called groomers and rapists and too strong for sports while simultaneously, because transphobes are fascists, framed as pathetic effete weak unpersons that they want to enact physical, sexual, and structural violence against under the belief that they cannot fight back. Because fascists paint their enemies as unfathomably strong and pathetically weak at the same time.
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The way tboy mras use "bioessentialist" to mean "criticizing men whatsoever" is crazy. Like when nobody said this was biologically determined. In fact You are doing some Man Shit right now. Assuming you aren't included in this sentiment & implicitly calling (usually trans!) women terfs for Basic Feminist Takes is telling on yourself more than them
While fat is frequently used to insult people of all sizes, many fat activists--those of us who are undeniably, indubitably fat by any measure--reclaim the term as an objective adjective to describe our bodies, like tall or short. It is used accordingly in a matter-of-fact way throughout the pages ahead. Fat stands in contrast to an endless parade of euphemism--fluffy, curvy, big guy, big girl, zaftig, big boned, husky, voluptuous, thick, heavy set, pleasantly plump, chubby, cuddly, more to love, overweight, obese--all of which just serve as a reminder of how terrified so many thin people are to see our bodies, name them, have them.
Fat hasn't become a bad word because fatness is somehow inherently undesirable or bad--it has fallen out of public favor because of what we attach to it. We take fat to mean unlovable, unwanted, unattractive, unintelligent, unhealthy. But fatness itself is simply one aspect of our bodies--and a very small part of who each of us is. It deserves to be described as a simple and unimportant fact.
-Aubrey Gordon, What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat
i'm actually really tired of being lumped together like this. i don't find it empowering or validating. why don't you just say "people i assume were afab" & save yourself some space.
somebody replied "what about straight trans men." on an account called butch_fever. who then replied "we love them too!" why. why are we required to make space for men whenever we talk about women. can anything just be for dykes? can we stop acting like cis dykes & trans dykes have nothing in common & aren't in community with each other? i wouldn't be offended by trans men being included in lesbian spaces if it didn't seem to always be at the expense of trans women.
maybe it's me, maybe i'm not butch after all because i don't like all the assumptions it causes people to make about me, & maybe that means it's not the label for me. every community i try to find a home in ends up telling me i don't belong there.
for the record this is the same dude who wrote an article about how autogynephilia is real
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I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?
Don't become a housewife.
Recentering women in feminism is the only way to go. If men have problems atp they could easily create a political and social movement to fix that shit themselves but you notice how they blame women and not other men. Women have always been the focus in my politics, especially Black women and Especially ESPECIALLY Black transgender women.
Also we've gotta go back to being mean. The bimbo movement or whatever was dumb. Unironic girlboss is stupid. Y'all gotta realize that playing into a gender role will never free you from or destroy the patriarchy. Makeup does more harm than good, the fashion industry and it's expectations for the ideal woman are extremely harmful, the body positivity movement was still based in a desire to be attractive rather than a demand that we not even be defined by racist, sexist, etc standards of beauty in the first place.
Like I'm sorry but insisting feminism as an ideology is about ~gender equality~ and not the specific patriarchal oppression that women of all kinds go through is partly what got us into this mess. Defanged bc some of y'all were too worried about men's opinions. Defanged because you couldn't let go of the comfort of the patriarchy. Defanged because you couldn't let go of white supremacy and transphobia. Defanged because you liked the aesthetic of feminism more than the action of it and THAT is because you let capitalism take feminism and sell it back to you as a cutesy pink logo with some tshirts and shades.
We're in a massive conservative reactionary swing on all fronts right now. I know obv not all feminists are giving into the pressure to be political in name only while still upholding legiterately everything feminism is meant to be against, but this is scary and frustrating.
If your feminism doesn't have the teeth of hatred for patriarchy and a love for women INCLUDING trans women, then it's useless and I don't want it.
What baffles me to this day is that people called me a terf over this
