i ruin everything. i always do.

croissant: timekeeper, there’s a dead cookie in our house.

timekeeper: oh.. hey, how did they get here?

croissant: ..timekeeper, what did you do?

timekeeper: me? lost for words i didn’t do this.

croissant: timekeeper.. timekeeper, explain what happened timekeeper.

timekeeper: i’ve never seen them before in my life!

croissant: why did you kill this cookie timekeeper?!

timekeeper: i-i do not kill cookies, that is my least favorite thing to do.

croissant: tell me, timekeeper, exactly what you were doing before i got home.

timekeeper: well i-i was upstairs.

croissant: okay..

timekeeper: i was sitting in my room..

croissant: yes?

timekeeper: reading a book.

croissant: go on...

timekeeper: and uh, well, this cookie walked in..

croissant: okay........

timekeeper: so i went up to him.

croissant: yes.

timekeeper: and i uh, stabbed them thirty seven times in the chest.

croissant: timekeeeeeeper, that kills people!

timekeeper: oh wow, i, i uh. i didn’t know that.

croissant: timekeeper.. how could you not know that?

timekeeper: yeah i’m in the wrong here, i suck.

croissant: what happened to their hands?!

timekeeper: what’s that?

croissant: their hands.. why. why are they missing?

timekeeper: well i uh, i kind of. cooked them up. and ate them.

croissant: timekeeeper..

timekeeper: well i was hungry, and well ya know when you crave hands.

croissant: why on earth would you do that?

timekeeper: i was hungry for hands! give me a break.

croissant: timekeeeeeeeeper.

timekeeper: my stomach was making the rumblies.

croissant: timekeeper.

timekeeper: that only hands would satisfy.

croissant: what is wrong with you carl?