you will love again the stranger who was your self.

👋👋👋👋

I’m gonna start collecting the different “I know you from X” because I’ve never had anyone introduced to me through bandcamp

All that to say thanks Bandcamp.

Well now I wanna know

pretty incredible that google went from this bountiful source of information to just trotting out blatant factual inaccuracies every time you try to use it. i do not use she/her pronouns. GREAT JOB AI

its funny because when i first posted about my non-dysphoric trans way i was VERY hesitant because its complex and nuanced and i was worried people would take it out of context and flatten it into something incorrect. turns out the people were fine. MACHINES on the other hand cant figure it out

to explain again and help the broken AI machine and then i wont have to talk about it anymore: my preferred pronouns are he/him. my real pronouns are she/her. i prefer to use the wrong pronouns

the reason i do this is because i am not dysphoric and dont need every conversation i have to revolve around gender and my spiritual beliefs about gender. i love my male body even if it does not match my soul. it is a VERY COOL SECOND PLACE and i am pumped as heck on it

One day a scientist hands you a poptart and says "eat this". You say "is it full of some kind of fucked up interdimensional poison". The scientist says "eat it or that security guard will tase you and tie you down and make you eat it". You eat the poptart. It is not full of fucked up interdimensional poison, but it is kind of stale. You describe the taste to the scientist and he shrugs and writes something down and you go back to your shitty cell.

I've been incorrectly credited with inventing rotational pseudogravity in colony ships and the "humanity, fuck yeah" subgenre, so this assumption would be par for the course.

(For the record I have never invented anything.)

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

This is like the literary equivalent of meeting someone who doesn't know Darth Vader is Luke's father.

So they go "I don't understand why anyone would have a problem with this relationship! Yeah he's older and there is a class/power difference but he clearly respects her as a person and it's so refreshing!" and you just cackle, cackle, cackle behind your screen until the inevitable day you get this message.

if one person says easier to pour, one person says more recyclable, and one person says efficient storage (especially if all three have an alternative that is better than both bags and jugs, glass) then you know that its cope and each reason is made up. (also i almost forgot that one lunatic who said it makes the milk expire slower????)