why are we here? just to buffer? @coquelicoq - Tumblr Blog

also forgot how much the latter half of The Vor Game breaks my heart for Gregor, because. CHRIST.

slowly being crushed under the weight of having to be The Emperor since he was five years old (which is clearly a lot of pressure even though Aral and Cordelia seem to have done their best to shield him from the brunt of it when he was younger), finds out his dead father was a monster, is terrified he's going to turn into a monster too, tries to kill himself, runs away, ends up in indentured servitude in the middle of a tangled political mess and soon-to-be war zone, gets found by Miles (tries to help Gregor out with his emotional issues, Bad At It) and has to tell him what happened, gets captured, has to honeypot the evil opportunistic mercenary holding him prisoner so she doesn't just slit his throat, and then after finally getting out of that...has to go right back to being Emperor and help stop a war.

meanwhile Miles is like "wow Gregor's always been so serious." yeah man, can't imagine why.

#vorkosigan saga #i love you gregor

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wait did julien just become a chevalier of the légion d'honneur in the most understated way possible. it was so offhand i had to look up a translation to see if i was right and i'm still just guessing on context clues. so his boss (who is a marquis) gives him a cross after he returns from a business trip, and a couple pages later a baron addresses him as m. le chevalier. was it the cross of the légion d'honneur?? was i supposed to be able to tell that immediately? i thought there would be a ceremony or something, i didn't know your boss could just call you into his study one day and say "thanks for going to london on business for me for two weeks. here's a thing for you to wear" and bam that's it you've been knighted????

#i'm still not sure that's what happened because stendhal does not tell me anythingggggg #he just assumes i always know what he's talking about and the guy writing the endnotes also does because he almost never #gives me useful historical information. but that was 200 years agoooooo throw me a boooonnnnnneeeeeee #literature #my posts

necromycologist

im still not over the bit in acc where ivan is grumbling something like. whats dono gone and worsened the ratio for. we should be sending vor lords 2 beta and turning them into hot ladies instead

#vorkosigan saga

fascinating how in the bijou game mihashi's accuracy is actually a downside for nishiura. if you know the data from past games are the result of the pitcher following the catcher's calls exactly, your data are all directly about the catcher's pitch calling (none of the pitches are the result of the pitcher accidentally doing something other than what the catcher called, so the data are all signal and no noise) and you can use it to identify patterns to predict how the catcher will call pitches going forward.

and furthermore, even if you could predict what pitch a catcher will call for, which might be possible for a catcher you had a lot of data on even if some of the data were noise, if the pitcher isn't as accurate as mihashi, there's also a level of unpredictability because on any individual pitch the pitcher might not manage to do what the catcher calls. but if you know how accurate mihashi is, you don't even have to worry about that. they are predictable because mihashi is so good at pitching exactly where he means to.

it's also of course because he's not shaking his head (if he disagreed sometimes with the call, that would also introduce a factor of unpredictability for bijou, because they couldn't just rely on what they know about the catcher's pitch calling patterns), but if he weren't so good at putting it exactly where he means to put it, that wouldn't matter. they're losing not just because the catcher is domineering and the pitcher doesn't think for himself (character flaws) but also because the pitcher is really really good at pitching (which you'd think would be a good thing, but apparently there is such a thing as too much of a good thing). really interesting way to create conflict based on character extremes.

#like i get that the main thing at issue is that the battery has a messed up dynamic where mihashi has no confidence & abe's a control freak #and they have to learn to trust themselves and each other #so that's like the obvious thing happening. but then it's also the case that this hasn't caused them problems vis-à-vis winning games #because no one has figured out how accurate mihashi is. once a guy who lost to them tells a guy who's about to play them #about mihashi's accuracy...they're fucked. at a baseball game level. in addition to their character and relationship problems #now they have a baseball problem. which is exacerbated by mihashi not shaking his head (which comes from character/relationship #problems) but if mihashi weren't so accurate that wouldn't matter #i'm trying to figure out if the baseball thing is meant to reflect the relationship thing. ummm excessive control is bad #controlling mihashi is bad because he needs to think for himself. controlling the ball is bad because. it needs to think for itself #mihashi how could you remove the ball's agency like this. it needs to grow and self-actualize #four runs be upon ye #oofuri #my posts #like mihashi's accuracy is an extreme. because he pitches obsessively. and why does he do that? just because he happens #to be really interested in pitching? or is it also because of relational trauma?#i think he associates baseball with positive connections with other people. because of hamada et al. when he was little #so when he had a bad middle school experience where everyone hated him he thought it must be because he was bad at baseball #but even then. negative attention was better than no attention. he was lonely. he thought if he got better at baseball he would have friend #now he still thinks he isn't that good but as long as he can be a tool in the hands of someone who can use him to win #he will be appreciated and important in that respect. and if he can't be that tool then he's useless and no one will want him #so he NEEDS to have good control of the ball. so that abe can control the ball through him. so that they can win and he can be liked

the-prince-of-the-ravens

aral vorkosigan really is one of the most characters of all time. he’s bisexual. he watched the dismemberment of the emperor and the killing of most of his immediate family when he was eleven years old. his first wife cheated on him so he challenged both other men to a duel and killed them both. it looked as if they’d killed each other so nobody ever investigated and he got away with it. his wife then killed herself. he went on a years-long bender and had a very public affair with his dead wife’s brother. he dumped his dead wife’s brother thus initiating a ~20 year long toxic yaoi situation. he helped lead the invasion of the nearest planet and was dubbed "the butcher" of said planet after a subordinate initiated a massacre against his orders. he killed said subordinate with his bare hands. he met his second wife after his crew mutinied on a near deserted planet, and also after her entire party was killed. he fell in love with her at first sight because she was throwing up in the dirt while wearing pants as a woman. she helped kill his ex boyfriend. he proposed marriage to her in the middle of a war while she was considered a POW. he plotted with the emperor to kill the heir to the throne and all his significant supporters. he’s an adrenaline junkie who enjoys drunk driving his lightflyer through canyons at night and definitely has a death wish. and he's bisexual. all of this is information available in book 1 of 17

#vorkosigan saga

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decided to pull the trigger and text my sister's boyfriend some questions about baseball, but since i didn't have his number before and only asked my sister for it after i learned he might be able to answer questions about baseball, i've sent him a preliminary text to say "hello, we know each other, but i only recently acquired your phone number and learned what your last name is. here's my phone number, and this is my last name. how are you today?" i'm very normal

#maybe i should call him my sister's fiancé because they're planning to get married? which is why i feel a bit awkward about #only having just learned his last name. like they've been together for a few years i feel like i should know more about him #baseball: it may be the most boring sport in the world to watch but it's the most interesting to think about and it's bringing people #together all over the world (e.g. me and my sister's boyfriend/fiancé/future spouse)

coquelicoq

i just got to the part of the manga with the pitch diagrams and i am so confused. i am so confused. i know higuchi-sensei says you don't need to understand this to understand the manga but then why did you show it to me. now i'm fixating on how confused i am. i went to wikipedia but that confused me more because half of it seems to be in direct contradiction to her diagrams. i'm not even trying to understand the spin diagrams and magnus force etc., i'm just stuck on the ballpath and whether it changes in the horizontal and vertical axes. i don't understand if pitches are named according to velocity or break (which i think is the same thing as change in ballpath in one of the axes?) or spin or the pitcher's form/grip and maybe some of them are named for one thing and then shift over time so that that thing isn't really an accurate description anymore? and what the hell is the deal with a change-up. is mihashi's "fastball" just a change-up??

coquelicoq

@joelletwo because i still can't reply T_T diagrams are at the end of vol 11 ch 22!

[trying to figure out why mihashi's "fastball" isn't just called a change-up while knowing nothing about anything] fastballs and change-ups are both defined by speed but maybe a change-up is only defined in opposition to a specific pitcher's fastball. it's when a pitcher makes it look like he's throwing his fastball (because he uses the same "form", whatever that means) but he just throws it slower than usual. it's a pitch that confuses batters because the batter knows that that pitcher has a fastball and they think they're getting (that specific pitcher's) fastball, and then it turns out to be slow. whereas if a pitcher cannot throw the ball any faster than that while using the same form, they are just throwing a fastball that is not all that fast?

but if the sort of definitional thing about a change-up is that it's confusing because it's slower than expected, i think we should still get to call mihashi's "fastball" a change-up. because it does confuse batters. because no one expects him to be that bad at throwing fast. right?? and he does actually now have a pitch that is faster than his "fastball", so even if we go with my first definition above (that it has to be slow in comparison with another pitch), the original "fastball" should still meet the definition of a change-up...

but then kanou describes it as having "more speed and rotation than a changeup" and from context and his handy diagrams in the dirt i think he's saying that the initial angle of the trajectory matches that of a "slow straight" (WHATEVER THAT MEANSSSSS), but it's faster than a slow straight. which makes it sound like the OPPOSITE of a change-up if a change-up is the anti-fastball. it's the anti-slowball? but then why does everyone say it's hard to hit because it's slow???

#[still doesn't know anything]

necromycologist

thinking about ivan&gregor... very interesting dynamic to me. hi my names If I Stay Real Quiet They Wont Put Me In The Family Torture Nexus and this is my cousin Trapped In The Torture Nexus Forever. normal!!

#obsessed with both of them #vorkosigan saga

#i don't understand enough to make sense of the diagrams. is the fastball breaking to the right in the diagram and the change-up #breaking to the left just at random? like could you throw both pitches breaking either direction and she just wanted to show #one of each? or do the fastball and the change-up definitionally have opposite ballpaths? from what i read on wikipedia it sounds like #a change-up is similar in all respects to a fastball except that it's slower and therefore it drops more in the vertical axis #but i don't see why that would affect spin or break in the horizontal axis #i also don't understand where the 'spin as seen from first base' is supposed to be represented #there are only two drawings in that box and three separate types of spin it's supposed to show. is it the <1>? but what does that mean?#i thought the ballpath diagrams for the shoot were switched because it says 'doesn't drop much‚ turns from left to right'#but the arrow for the path as seen from above (which should correspond to the horizontal axis. right???) is perfectly straight #and the arrow for the path as seen from the side (which should correspond to the vertical axis) shows a curve from L to R #but then if those are switched the arrows for the sinker which is described as a 'dropping shoot' don't really make sense #because they don't show any L to R movement #and if a forkball breaks and drops right in front of the batter...why is the path as seen from the side perfectly straight? shouldn't it ha #e a sharp downward turn at the end??#plus it's confusing me that these diagrams are meant to compare different types of pitches but the fastball is shown with a break #surely the quintessential platonic ideal of a fastball (if you're comparing it with other pitches) has no break?#isn't a fastball basically the only kind of pitch that it's possible to not have a break? then why not have that diagram be the only one #with two perfectly straight ballpath arrows? which makes me think i must be fundamentally misunderstanding something #about fastballs. i did just learn that my sister's bf played baseball as a pitcher and i made her give me his phone number #so maybe i could ask him. but i feel like i don't even understand enough to know how to ask a question about it #what's my first question. is the following statement true: every pitch is either a fastball or a breaking ball. but fastballs can also be #breaking balls if you want them to <3 #but see then you look up the mlb's definition of pitches and they sort pitches into 4 categories: fastball. breaking. change-up. knucklebal #BUT these can overlap because they're all being defined by different aspects of the pitch (<-my understanding anyway)#a fastball is a ball defined by speed while a breaking ball is defined by movement. but a ball can be both fast and breaking #so really that seems more like saying 'there are three ways to characterize pitches (and the knuckleball is an exception to this #paradigm)' rather than there being four TYPES of pitches #but actually fastball and change-up are BOTH about speed (mlb says fastball is about velocity and change-up is about timing but #aren't those essentially the same thing......). so then really there are two ways of characterizing: speed and break #(and the knuckleball is still a special ungovernable princess)

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echo-bleu

Jingyan had to be on the next page :)

#okay wow????#the colors are soooo #nirvana in fire #mei changsu #xiao jingyan #art #described in alt

memoryisaneventhorizon

thinking about the people who are being held in suspension waiting to be made into ancillaries by the various ships in the two systems… i can’t imagine that breq isn’t going to wake them up and free them as soon as it’s politically feasible for her to do so but god that is going to be a lot of terrified, traumatized people with nowhere to go suddenly waking up in a place at least partially run by the entities that were up until recently going to murder them and hijack their corpses.

#oh shit #imperial radch

charles-francois-bienvenu-myriel

Fred Cavaye's 2026 Les Misérables movie teaser trailer

#omg they've got fucken. albert from cmc playing marius. that makes sense. that makes sense.#les mis #video #undescribed

sapphling

"drug seeking" as a patient label one of the most dogshit stupid concepts of all time. fuuuck everybody look out this guy came in here expecting medical treatment. better watch out in case he goes to a restaurant and starts food seeking

#drugs #stigma #access to care

closet-keys

as a teen, i was constantly harassed by adults enforcing ''dress codes'' on me. I very much experienced this as sexual harassment. I think this is one of many cases where people would more easily understand this as sexual harassment if I described it as if it happened to an adult.

imagine being on your lunch break, and your supervisor comes over to your table, tells you to stand up in front of everyone. they draw everyone's attention to your thighs. they tell you that you have broken the dress code because of the length of your shorts. they tell you to go change (so you do not get the rest of your lunch break). they do this every single day at lunch. every day. so you read the whole dress code front and back, and you choose your clothing carefully to not break it. you bring a cloth tape measure with you to work because they will not believe you. this time when your supervisor tells you that you're breaking dress code, you pull out your tape measure and show that you are within the limit. your supervisor says "I bet you wouldn't want me to bring you to the boss and let him measure it, would you?" it's clearly a threat: if you don't obey then you will be put alone in a room with your boss and he will touch your thighs. you don't know how to respond. you're taken out of lunch again.

this was my experience at school. replace supervisor with "teacher" and boss with "principal." this was sexual harassment. fuck dress codes.

#sexual harassment #youth liberation

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"aren't i the one who is xyz?" okay so we've got a first-person subject for two instances of the verb be and it's conjugated in the second person one of the times, in the third the other time, and at no point in the first person???

#english: the language where we conjugate basically nothing EXCEPT the verb be and even there sometimes we just do whatever #syntax #my posts #we know amn't doesn't work but why does 'who am' as the beginning of a subordinate clause feel so wrong #is it actually possible to say 'am' without it being immediately preceded by 'i' (or immediately followed by‚ in a question)?#i feel like you could put it after 'and' in a parallel construction like 'i feel bad and am sorry' but even that sounds awkward to me #i feel bad and i'm sorry would be more natural #i guess 'who are' also feels wrong. like *'you're the one who are xyz' vs. 'you're the one who is xyz' which is totally fine #but 'you feel bad and are sorry' is also totally fine #'are' can survive some distance from 'you' in a way 'am' cannot #but like i guess what's happening with who is that we're treating 'who' as the subject of the subordinate clause verb?#and 'who' is third person singular so it takes 'is'? but that's fucking wild. isn't it? now i'm questioning everything #have i just gotten too used to french???#or no wait it's because 'the one' is third person singular isn't it. well okay hmm. 'it's me who does the laundry around here'#or more formally 'it is i who does the laundry'. but okay then 'it' is the subject. isn't it.#okay. okay. trying something else. 'you‚ who knows me of old'. but 'you‚ who know me of old' also sounds fine #i who knows you of old vs. i who know you of old. They Both Sound Nice #right?? i'm questioning my instincts. maybe they don't sound equally natural. i can't tell. i'm thinking too hard

i hate emotional maturity it's hard and awkward and it gets everywhere. wait no that's the sand monologue from attack of the clones.

#though i think it's safe to say anakin also hates emotional maturity #or maybe he just doesn't know what it is. he's not familiar with its game #when it fucks it fucks. but when you're trying to be emotionally mature with someone who is a lil bit allergic to it #it feels really really awful #also lol just the timing is funny bc less than a week ago my 20something sisters were sitting on my couch #congratulating themselves for how emotionally mature they are #and they are! but i was kind of sitting there like. you aren't uncomfortable enough about this #i remember being 20 on the phone with my friend congratulating ourselves on how good we were at relationships #spoiler alert: we were two of the most immature people on the planet but had no self-awareness of this fact

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why are we here? just to buffer?