why are we here? just to buffer?

worsties from this fic // this post

The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.

And I am not going to mince words here:

A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.

That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.

"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.

📩 your order has been confirmed! 😍

📩 ORDER UPDATE. you made it ☺️

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📩 your seller looked at the item 👀

📩 your seller packaged your item! 🎁

📩 your seller looked at the item again! 👀👀

📩 postman got it 📬

📩 IMPORTANT. your postman is called luke! 💁

📩 courier facility thinks your item is nice 🥰

📩 sorry we missed you! we know you were home luke didnt want to go there ❤️

📩 hi

📩 we got it again. see u soon 🙏

📩 URGENT. COLLECT YOUR PARCEL FROM THE SHOP NOW OR WE WILL BURN IT.

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When really it is "I find it unnerving how fast people make fun of physical disability and equate it to moral goodness when you make it slightly ok to do so in context."

Do you have medications which will be destroyed if exposed to excessive heat, like insulin? How are you gonna carry them and keep them cool? Do you have to carry your entire day's worth of belongings with you at all times, or do you have a friend's house or something where you can stash them? How much extra time are you gonna have to waste traveling back and forth? An extra hour this way, an extra hour that way. Gotta factor in the time. What if it's chilly overnight? Do you have to carry your jacket with you? What's for lunch? Can you bring food, or will the heat ruin it?

All sticky and sweaty from the sun, just wanna peel your clothes off and cool down in the shower? Designated times when showers are available at many shelters are periods of maybe sixty minutes, maybe twice a day if you're lucky, 5:30-6:30 AM and 9:00-10:00 PM or whatever. No other accessible times. Can't make it because you're at work? Too bad. Get off work later than that, and just wanna quickly bathe? Too bad.

Do you work full-time, clock out exhausted, and wanna take a nap in the afternoon? Find a park with shade, I guess, because you're only allowed inside the shelter between 10:00 PM and 5:30 AM. Did you get off work a little late? Too bad, you missed the strict curfew of 10:00 PM and now you're not allowed in the shelter. Can't hang out on the bus, can't linger too long at the coffee shop, can't doze off at the library. Many cities went out of their way to explicitly criminalize falling asleep--or merely sitting in one place for too long--in a park, too. Are you sick? Can't take a nap. Are you disabled? Can't take a nap. You're forced to be awake, all day. You're forced to be upright, or moving. No loitering. No sleeping. No taking your shoes off. All day. Every day.

Do you need even a quick momentary escape from the heat? Well, you'd better have money. Even if you do, you'll have to doctor your appearance, go stealth-mode, don't attract the attention of petty middle managers. The coffee shop now locks their bathroom. It's for paying customers. Maybe you bought some tea. Well, don't overstay your welcome (the boss saw your backpack and perceived that you're homeless, which means you're essentially an intruder now, so you better get out and move on soon). The university campus added card-swipe readers to all the doors, so now you can't visit the library or cafeterias. Oh shit, you spent money on the tea, so now you can't afford lunch.

You don't have a pantry, you don't have a refrigerator. No pasta, no rice, no meal-prep, no stovetop, no oven, no leftovers. So you pretty much have to eat out all the time. You'll bleed more money.

And during a heatwave, during summer in general in some climates, each day brings the same challenges and anxieties again.

Where are you sleeping? Outside? What are the cops gonna do to you? What about the sneering homeowners, skeptical of your presence in their neighborhood? Staying at a shelter? Every morning, you enter a lottery, hoping your name will be randomly selected, giving you one of the available spaces to sleep indoors at the shelter. Maybe 300 people competing for 75 available spaces. And these aren't even necessarily 75 beds, might simply mean 75 available spaces to sleep on the concrete floor. So all day long, you commute, you hide from the sunlight, you go to work. And you wonder. You worry. You don't know if you'll even get to sleep on the floor later tonight, if they don't draw your name. Should you make alternative back-up plans, identify an outdoor space to sleep in? You line up single-file at the shelter door. Required. Can't be late. Is it still hot outside? Do you need to pee? Better hold steady. (In seasons other than summer: Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is there frigid wind? You've gotta stand in line for thirty minutes.) You find your designated inch-thick cheap plastic mat on the floor. No phone charger, no power outlet. Better not lose track of your phone, your bag, your cards/cash. Leave it unattended for a minute, and not only might it get snatched, but the shelter staff themselves will toss unattended items in the trash. Stepped to the bathroom for a couple minutes? You left your water bottle next to your floor-mat, now it's gone. In the same room with you, maybe 50 people, maybe more. Some crying, some conversing, some feuding, some coughing. All night. Next morning, 5:30, the lights are on, you've got ten minutes to get up and get back outside. Oh shit, did you take off your glasses? Anything you accidentally leave behind, you'll never see it again.

mirror clattering as kitty paws it, human gasping ohhhh and saying "chippy get down from there."

clink of spoon in bowl, human gasping ohhh and saying "chippy don't drink that!"

crinkling of bag, human gasping ohhh and saying "chippy don't lick that!"

scratching noises against wood, human gasping ohhh and saying "chippy don't scratch that!

cardboard and plastic rustling of cereal box, human gasping ohhh and saying "chippy get out of there!"

human saying "Chippy get back in here!"

scrambling noises and claw clicks against metal and human saying "get down from there - ohhhh -"

human gasping "ohh" at chippy standing on tv

human gasping "ohhh" at chippy chewing on bananas

creaking of bathroom cabinet mirror opening, human gasping "ohhh"

human gasping "ohhh" and saying "Chippy get down from [there!"] [the balcony screen door]

general rustling as chippy attacks toilet paper, with the human saying "Put that back - ohhh!"

rustling of bag as chippy sticks head in and human going "ohhh"

This is the body that was in charge during the Terror, the bloodiest period of the revolution, and that tried and executed Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette for treason. (Which they had done. One can argue--people did argue! a lot!--over the proper response, but they had 100% conspired with foreign powers to invade France.) Conventionalist G was not a regicide--he did not vote for the death of the king--but he was still in the body that signed off on a lot of war crimes.

I'm going to give a little more historical context at the end of this post, but what all the context means for Myriel is that the Conventionalist represents parts of the revolution which dealt significant harm to Myriel and people he cared about. Economic harm, at minimum--Myriel was an emigré, and whatever property he left behind in France would have been confiscated by the state--and in the conversation at dinner with Jean Valjean, we learn enough to know that some of their relatives who stayed certainly ended up poor and may have been in hiding in fear for their lives. Given the circles he moved in, it's very likely he knew people who were executed. That probably underlies some of his uneasiness around the guillotine--he probably has some survivor's guilt.

In this conversation, he comes to understand the Revolution as a moral project--something undertaken to find larger and more lasting answers to the same problems that he can only address one person at a time. He comes to see the harms of the Revolution within that framework-- "you condemn the thunderbolt." He comes to understand the Conventionalist as a deeply moral man, from whom he could have learned a lot, if he had only been willing to lay aside his prejudices long enough to do his duty as a priest and reach out to him.

(His asking the Conventionalist for his blessing was HUGELY controversial at the time, btw. It was one of the reasons the Catholic Church placed the book on the Index for decades. The book comes down heavily on the side of the Revolution being Correct and True, and the bishop's acceptance of this fact as the last step of his moral arc.)

So, additional historical context--the opening chapter establishes a couple important facts about where Myriel was coming from:

1.) He was part of the noblesse de la robe. These were nobles with newly-created titles, who held those titles in consequence of a civil service position; as opposed to the old noblesse de l'epée, whose titles came from long-ago military service. These titles were purchased; this whole class of nobility was new money, who had used that money to buy into the aristocracy. And in consequence they tended to be deeply invested in maintaining the class system that they had staked everything to claim a part in.

2.) And Myriel was exactly that, because he emigrated to Italy in 1789. This means he was part of the very first wave of emigrations--he left the country at the same time as the Comte d'Artois (the future King Charles X). These first emigrés were not leaving out of immediate fear for their lives, but out of absolute refusal to engage with any aspect of the revolution. They were ultraconservative.

So before he became a priest, Myriel wasn't just an aristocrat, and rich, and a playboy--he identified strongly enough with the system that let him be those things that he saw any challenge to it as an existential threat.

(Side note--there were liberal nobles who supported the Revolution! They were an important part of the Revolution, especially in its early stages--people like the Comte de Mirabeau and the Marquis de Lafayette. They were a driving force behind the abolition of feudal privilege--giving up privileges they themselves enjoyed. But they almost all came from the old money noblesse de l'epée. These were people whose fortunes were secure enough that they were willing to exchange tax exemption and significant personal power for living in a modern country with a functional government.)

...and I feel like an explainer on the Terror would probably also be useful here but this is already very long, so I'm going to stop here, but I can come back with a French Revolution 101 post later if you want!

She just looked more certain. "You're Peri's SecUnit." Oh, ART's humans had a cute pet name for it. I saved that to permanent archive immediately. I said, “I am not Perihelion's SecUnit."