Whatever

seeing clark divorced, struggling with money, no friends, sitting and drinking and festering in his own self pity brought tears to my eyes faster than anything ever had before.

I saw him out of breath hopping around on the peg leg with the pirate impression talking about how you don't even need credit to buy from him and I was so close to sobbing it wasn't even funny. putting on a face when you're breaking down inside with no hope is terrifying to me.

I was so sad during the kitchen table scene because everything Mary said was true, he was lost now. It's like seeing someone you wished would succeed just give up and fall asleep in their grave.

Clark truly felt helpless in life, and as a result, he would continuously find blame in external factors. This gave him a false sense of control, without realizing that doing this only fed into the cycle of him being perpetually stuck in life.

He desperately wanted agency over his life, yet he feared the uncertainty that comes with that agency. He felt trapped by the various circumstances, but in reality, he was the one trapping himself by remaining stagnant.

Clark is a deeply flawed person. The role-play scenes make this very clear. His behavior is destructive towards his wellbeing, it hurts those around him, and he only falls further down into his ways (it's just the way he's "wired", as he claimed). It's a downward spiral.

And in the end, when it came to the choice to change... he rejected it. This unhealthy coping mechanism of his... it feels safe, it feels familiar, and it makes him *feel* in control... and when Clark finally made that decision to continue this cycle... that decision ate him alive... literally.

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There was one episode with a trans woman getting different gender-affirming operations, including breast implants. It showed the procedure, and (what I found so fascinating that it's stuck with me for decades), as soon as the doctor put the implant in, a censor blur popped up on the nipple.

And you just know there was a meeting between the TLC lawyers and the editors and producers of the show to discuss what the difference was between a "man nipple" (can be shown) and a "woman nipple" (no no must obscure, 'tis naughty). And they decided that as soon as the implant goes in and the nipple has more mass behind it, that's the moment when it becomes a woman's nipple and must be hidden to comply with TV rules.

But it's the same nipple. On the same person. I know what it looks like; I just saw it. But TV and obscenity rules are rules, and the rules say woman nipple = sexual and therefore explicit, but man nipple = neutral, just fine.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

here's mickey, goofy, donald, and chip & dale. yeah they turned mickey & friends into anime boys. they're an idol unit or something. they're technically not anime boy versions of the source characters, they have different names. mickey's guy is "Neo Michel". not michael, michel, like he's french. chip & dale are "Ruska Moncrief" and "Ranka Monk", they have different last names, they're not brothers anymore so that they can be yaoibait instead, anyways this post isn't actually about these guys I'm just setting the stage for the actual humanizations I wanted to show you

They also did monsters inc. And. Well it's obvious from the designs who mike and sully are. but you will also notice. the blonde one on the left. with glasses. monsters inc is kind of famously about just the two guys so they didn't really have a lot of other non-villain characters to take anime boys inspiration from, I guess, so, well,

v.m.o: @dazzkat

c.a.: $dazzkat

for HER mother, it was a large section of her nose (again, reconstructed, but still)