Tired Salamander

I kind of miss the impulsivity that certain spaces used to allow. oh you want a hair cut today? hairdresser in the corner can fit you in before her 2 o’clock. tattoo of a cobra… sure leg or arm? even concerts, back when you could go to the box office thirty mins before any show. not saying these things don’t exist at all, but everything feels booked five months in advance and 10x more expensive

personally I am of the opinion that vegans who are like “the way our food system currently works under capitalism on a large scale is exceptionally cruel to all animals including humans and is not sustainable, so I’m doing what I can to make the most ethical choices available to me about what I eat and encourage others to do the same” are generally very reasonable people who I agree with in spades. but vegans who seem to think human beings are not themselves animals who are ultimately also part of the food chain but instead some kind of other paternalistic higher entity that can never engage in ethical and sustainable hunting practices (and especially the fringe I’ve seen who think other carnivorous animal predators are also evil and need to be eliminated) are people I regard as foolish at best if not actively anti-indigenous and racist

this pride month, keep the disabled queer people in mind who can't celebrate pride the 'regular way' aka by going to parades and lots of events. keep the homebound, bedbound, and other disabled queers who can't go in mind. those people who see everyone else party and are unable to attend. text them, wish them a happy pride, visit them and celebrate in a way that works for them. it's already hard not to be able to go to all of these events, it's even harder to be left behind because of it.

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

my neighbour stopped me when I was taking out my recycling, and said "when I park in front of your driveway and block it, and you leave a note on my car that reads 'please don't block my driveway', it makes me really mad." and I was just nodding like oh okay. yeah? huh.

he brought up that I should feel indebted to him bc he ‘cleared my driveway’ with his leaf blower, but what actually happened is that he gathered every leaf from both of our properties and piled it in a calf-high mass at the bottom of my front steps, which I had to wade through to exit my house. I genuinely thought he did this as a calculated attack. it did not occur to me that it was a good deed.

there has been some change in behaviour for the positive, though. like he hasn’t parked in front of my driveway lately, which is nice. and he stopped banging on my windows when I asked him not to. and he doesn’t go in my backyard anymore because I said “please stop doing that” and he said “I don’t do that,” and I said “I was literally watching you,” and he said “I only wanted to look over the fence into the other neighbour’s yard.” and he’s stopped going on to my porch at night to borrow my shovel (mainly because he broke the shovel and threw the pieces into my backyard), and he hasn’t taken my ornamental chicken statue and placed it in his garden again because I said “please don’t steal my chicken statue I can literally see it in your garden”. and he also hasn’t broken my recycling bin again, presumably because the lid can’t split in two any further. so we’ve had some positive improvements.

important context to this is that the guy yells at his wife a lot, and yells at the female tenants living in his basement, and because he perceives me as a woman, I am slotted into the 'should cower in fear of his testicles' category. but I'm also 6'2 and constantly on the verge of a mental breakdown, so I can't really manage more than a dead-eyed stare when he tries this. just standing out there in my house slippers going "oh okay" until he pauses long enough for me to slip in a firm "but please don't bang on my windows anymore."

Also just to clear up any further confusion, cerebrospinal fluid (as the name implies) is contained to just your brain and spinal cord. The rest are protected by mucous

imo the way you feel about groups it's fully socially acceptable to hate (like children or polyamorous people, among others) is the canary in the coal mine for underlying bigoted beliefs. if you're only supportive of marginalized groups when it's cool to do so, probably you don't actually care about marginalized groups, you care about other people thinking you care

there are 1 trillion people in the notes of this post saying "yeah! i mean i hate kids but they should have rights!" you hate kids? you mean you hate all members of an oppressed group solely for their membership in this group? right. why do you hate them? because they can't take care of themselves and need help? because they don't understand social norms and can be "annoying" and disrespect boundaries as a result? because they can be messy? because they don't understand things in the same way as you do? that's awesome. how do you feel about disabled people btw

Anon bb come back i can change for you

Pond horsey

Chip used to escape into the pine barrens and go in ponds to eat yellow pond lilies. This brings back memories.

Apparently today is Loving Day, named after Richard and Milford Loving, the interracial couple whose lawsuit against the state of Virginia resulted in interracial marriage becoming legal in the United States. And so this day was made as a holiday for interracial relationships. I think that's very cool and deserves a tumblr post. Happy Loving Day to everyone in interracial relationships!

These are genuinely great! If I can add a small comment it would be to try to change scenery every now and then, take a different route home and go for walks. And make appointments to meet your friends!

ABSOLUTELY. anytime I feel myself descending into a slump where everything feels wrong and bad and gross and hard, I go on a Weird Walk. I choose a familiar destination (the dairy, the beach, a specific hill) and intentionally choose a route I've never tried before. it's crazy but it makes me feel better almost instantly, even if the new walk is worse than my usual route. your brain CRAVES new stimulation! you are a member of a species with one of the most active brains in the animal kingdom. please try not to live like a hamster.