I'm not real

i think they shouldve taken me on a polar expedition not because i would be useful or especially resilient but because my preexisting mental health conditions would have made me an interesting wildcard

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

InsNe that dishwashers are more efficient and easier than just washing them manually but they also use less water. It’s a win win situation

They ALSO sterilize dishes, due to operating at a far higher temperature than human hands could ever tolerate. It's a win every way.

man half of my mutuals are named some shit like Snooble at this point im doing some poob as bullshit in my life

like yea you shouldn't expect anything out of being a nice person, you should be nice because its a good thing to do, but i can't emphasis enough just how many perks you get by not being an asshole.

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

it's usually morally correct to make fun of the usa but whenever i hear british people do it it feels kinda tone deaf. idk if we have the high ground here guys. its like your mom making fun of your mental illness like ma'am where do you think i got it from.

me when im so sweet and beautiful monday