š¤ i dont like this emoji. this is not a hug to me. this is someone doing condescending jazz hands in my general direction when i am in need of affection. not comforting.
š« i love this emoji. this is a hug. we are hugging and its nice. and as a special bonus they appear to be my old friends from the msn messenger logo? very comforting.
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Oh my dear, sweet children. The Commodore 64 came out in 1982. This was produced on a typewriter and probably mimeographed. And while it may seem funny now, it took more courage to write and distribute this than you will ever Ā know.
Children, in the olden days fanfiction was written on a typewriter, copied and sent by snail mail. Getting one one of those letters from across the world was every bit as exciting as getting a notification that your favorite writer posted a new fic.
Itās been said before, but the fact that this fic begins with the dialogue assertion āWeāre by no means setting a precedentā is endlessly amusing to me.
Diane Marchant changed all our lives. May she rest in peace.
The precedent line is especially amusing when you bear in mind that āA Fragment Out of Timeā is not only the first Star Trek slashfic to be published in a widely distributed magazine: itās believed by some to be the first slashfic of any kind to be widely published.
In 1974 it was illegal to send pornography through the USPS. So distributing fic like this via mailed newsletter was literally dangerous. And they knew it.
Can we include darebee.com with ao3 and wikipedia on our list of really good nonprofits with excellent services that we stan?
It's a free, no sign-up, no ads fitness resource created by professionals who view this as activism (fitness should be accessible to everyone), and it's very thoughtful and thorough.
Features I really like:
- all instructions for workout routines are diagrammed on single pages with a clean, easy to read layout
- there's 30 or 60 day programs you can follow if you, like me, don't know what to do. they take you through a rotation of workouts so you're working different muscle groups on different day for a specific purpose
- there's so much variety and there's a filter so you can find the level and your goals and type of workout you wanna do
- you don't need any equipment
- some of the programs are RPGs or adventure stories! How's that for motivation. There's also badges and achievements or something but I haven't looked that closely at how that works yet
- they're nerds. they name workouts after D&D classes. There's a Lannistrr workout, a batcave workout, a witcher workout
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He'd been to gay bars before, both on purpose and accidentally. This one was an accident. It looked perfectly normal from the outside. Maybe there was stuff on the walls to indicate what kind of establishment it was, but the light was too low to see. The other patrons were dressed ā maybe an excess of leather jackets, but again, the light was low.
It was his second bar of the night. The first one wasn't a vibe at all. Buck was having a nice time, sitting by himself and people watching. When the lack of women started to sink in, it was already too late.
A very handsome older man approached his table and started talking. Buck liked to talk, so that was fine. But then came another. And another. Soon his table was crowded and he wasn't sure who was talking to who. It got overstimulating very fast.
Right before he started to panic, he felt hands on his shoulders. āGive the kid some air, yeah?ā The whole table erupted, but the guy at his back stood firm. Before he knew what was happening, the guy had him by the armpits and pulled him to his feet.
Buck was led to the bar, by firm hands, and deposited on a barstool. āHints are a foreign concept to these guys, you gotta be rude about it,ā his rescuer said. āWhat were you having?ā
Buck turned and looked, but his abandoned glass wasn't visible. The guys didn't seem too torn up about him leaving. āUh, beer?ā
āI'll get you another one,ā he said and patted Buck on the back.
āI'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, Iā ā He got a good look at the guy who just manhandled him. He didn't look dissimilar to the others. Big guy, a little older, broad in every sense of the term.
āDon't worry about it. Once they smell blood in the water, you're out of luck,ā he smiled. āI'm Tommy.ā
āI'mā ā Oh, dear god, he couldn't introduce himself as Buck at a gay bar. āI'm Evan.ā
āHi, Evan. First time here?ā
Buck laughed a little and looked around, before sitting properly at the bar. āFirst time,ā he nodded.
āNew to the lifestyle?ā Tommy asked, and pushed a glass into his hands. āYou have that look about you.ā
He had to bite his tongue, before his mouth had the chance to ask if he looked gay. āWhatā What lifestyle is that?ā
Tommy's eyes were twinkling. āYou're in a leather bar, kid.ā He pointedly gave Buck an up and down look.
Maybe the lightwash jeans had been a bad choice. He squirmed a little. āI didn't know.ā
āBring a friend next time. I might not be here to save you from the daddies.ā
Instead of turning around, Buck looked at the mirror behind the bar. Daddies. The men looked nice enough, but it was a lot, all at once. Flattering, though.
āYou're not a daddy?ā
Tommy laughed. āYou got me there.ā
āSounds like I'm not safe with you either,ā he grinned.
āI guess that depends ā do you want to be?ā
Buck gulped half of his beer, before even attempting to answer that.
Tommy interpreted his hesitation as something else. āThey're alright. They wouldn't have hurt you. Most of them have partners at home, they just enjoy the chase.ā
Buck licked his lips. āAnd you?ā
Tommy's glass halted halfway to his mouth. āMe, what?ā
āWhy are you here?ā
āBeats drinking at home,ā he smiled, but it fell short of his eyes.
He didn't know what it was, but something about Tommy made him want to be honest. āI didn'tā I didn't know this was a gay bar,ā Buck said. āI was walking by and it looked nice enough. I didn't come here on purpose.ā
Tommy looked at him for a beat. His eyes specifically, which was tough to endure. Tommy's smile went a little tighter.
Buck was desperate to return to the ease of just a moment ago. āDoā Do you have a partner at home?ā
The smile went a little softer. āIf I did, I wouldn't be here.ā
āRight.ā Buck ducked his head. āThat makes sense.ā
āDo you?ā
āNo,ā he sighed ā a bit too deep, judging by the height of Tommy's eyebrows. āMy friends keep telling me I need to figure out how to be alone,ā he explained. āWhich is stupid, because I've been alone my whole life. I know how to do it.ā
Tommy's eyeline shifted from Buck's face, to a distant point behind him. āNothing wrong with wanting to have someone.ā
It was a bit too maudlin to share with a stranger, but Buck found himself saying, āI want someone to choose me, you know? And keep choosing me.ā
āI do,ā Tommy said softly.
āI don't think that's a crazy thing to ask ā or to want.ā
āIt's not.ā
Buck moved his glass around on the bar top. He didn't really feel like drinking anymore. āIs the gay dating scene better than the straight one?ā
āGod, no,ā Tommy grimaced. āNo.ā
āSo jumping ship would be a bad idea?ā
āWell,ā Tommy thought on it, then shook his head. āNo, I can't in good conscience recommend dating men.ā
Buck laughed. āMaybe it'd be easier. It's not like I haven't thought about it.ā
āā¦About dating men?ā
Buck shrugged. Why wouldn't he have thought about that? āBeing the same gender is a big thing to have in common.ā
Tommy looked bewildered. āI thought you said you were straight?ā
āI didn't say it, I implied it.ā
āAre you?ā
Buck looked at him for a second. His face, then his shoulders, his arms, his hands. Tommy shifted and Buck's eyes fell to his thighs. āIf the answer was yes, I probably shouldn't have hesitated, right?ā
āMy eyes are up here.ā
Buck's eyes snapped up. āI was looking at your thighs, I promise.ā
Tommy giggled. āThat's the gayest fucking thing you could've said.ā
Buck's face was burning hot, but he was making Tommy laugh, so it wasn't all bad. āHow are thighs a gay thing?ā
Tommy shook his head. āYou are surprisingly comfortable flirting with men.ā
Buck looked at the table of daddies. āI think it's just you.ā
It was Tommy's turn to blush. āEvan, are you leading me on?ā
āLeading on implies a lack of follow through.ā He bit his lip. It was a nervous thing, but Tommy didn't seem to see it that way.
Tommy put his head in his hand. āEvan. I can't bring a straight boy home. I'm too old for that.ā
An hour ago, he hadn't considered having sex with a man. An hour ago, he hadn't met Tommy.
āWe could go to my place?ā
Tommy looked at him through his fingers. He closed his eyes for a moment and faced straight ahead. Buck wasn't sure what he was doing, but he didn't want to interrupt. He jumped a little when Tommy's hand clamped down on his thigh.
Tommy leaned into his space and asked, āAnd do what?ā
Buck went a little breathless. The hand was already high up, but he wanted it higher. āYou're the daddy,ā he said. āMeans you're in charge, right?ā Tommy's fingers dug into his inner thigh.
āI need you to tell me what you're doing.ā
There was barely space between them, but Buck leaned in closer. āYou made me curious.ā One of Tommy's eyebrows went up. āBesides,ā he told Tommy's mouth. āIt's not like I haven't been pegged before.ā
āWillingly?ā
āI asked for it. Begged for it, actually. There was this article I read and I couldn't get it out of my head.ā
āAnd?ā
āI liked it more than she did.ā
Tommy shook his head. āEnjoying anal and being into men are two separate things.ā
āI'm not talking about men, I'm talking about you.ā The hand on his thigh was starting to feel like a tourniquet. There was a small furrow between Tommy's eyebrows. Buck couldn't tell why it was there.
āIt's mean to lead an old man on.ā
Buck put his hand on top of Tommy's. āYou can't be that much older than me.ā
āDon't do this to me.ā
āWhat am I doing to you?ā Tommy huffed. āWhat am I doing to you, Tommy?ā Buck asked again, but lower. Buck wasn't insistent. If someone needed him to convince them, they clearly weren't feeling it ā but Tommy's hesitation felt different. āCome home with me.ā
āEvanāā
āI don't know what I'm doing, but I'll try so hard, I promise.ā
When Tommy leaned in, Buck knew he was trying to scare him, to call his bluff, but Tommy wasn't the aggressor here. Buck met him more than halfway. Tommy's surprised little mm! was almost drowned out by wolf whistles.
Someone yelled, āGet it, Kinard!ā and Tommy pulled back abruptly. He glared at the guy, but he was flushed all the way down his neck.
āShut your mouth, Dennis!ā
Buck got a hand around the back of Tommy's neck, so he could pull him back in. They weren't done kissing.
5 facts about an AU where...BuckTommy are soulmates in a universe where you see color when you meet your soulmate and they meet the night of the cruise ship rescue
(Imagine that somehow this did not affect Tommy becoming a pilot lol)
(we are absolutely breezing RIGHT PAST the pilot of it all, donāt even worry about it)
1. Buck has seen color his whole lifeāMaddie was his first soulmate, after all, someone who loved and cared for him even when his parents wouldnāt. He saw yellow: saffrons and golds and lemons and ambers and buttery soft blushes of color.
He met Bobby and saw blue. The sky and the ocean, calm and tempestuous bothāthe color of their uniforms, the color of his own eyes.
Eddie introduced him to brownārich, earthy soil, the bark on the trees, the color of chocolate, Eddieās eyes big and bright, the soft dark fall of Maddieās hair.
He had never had any reason to imagine he was missing anything.
2. Tommy was nearing 40 and his world was still gray. He might not know what color looked like, but he knew exactly what he was missing.
3. āEvan,ā the man shaking his hand said. āIām. Evan Buckley. You can, uh, you can call me Evan.ā He was still shaking Tommyās hand. There was something about it that was⦠captivating, maybe. Something that felt different. Tommy wasnāt too concerned, though. Heās met pretty guys before. They had a cruise ship to find.
*
Oh my god, Buck thought. He flexed his hand after Tommy released it. The edges of his vision were limned in white.
4. The fake mouth static was. Well. Even in the circumstances, it was kind of charming, wasnāt it? Something about it pinged something in Buck but he couldnāt out his finger on what. Something was different, but⦠he didnāt know what it was. And it didnāt matter, did it? Not until Athena and Bobby were safe.
They flew through intermittent showers, landed on a capsized cruise ship, and Bobby and Athena were safe. They were okay. Buck felt his whole body unclench in relief.
He and Eddie stood with the pilotāwith Tommy. He was the one who made it all possible, thank goodness he was willing to listen to Henās hunch, was willing to let Chim cash in a favor. Buck put a hand on his shoulder to thank him. Tommy turned, a little surprised.
But before Buck could say anythingā
The world burst to life.
Buck had seen color his whole life, but he had never seen this. Everything had been shadowed, muted like the dregs of paint washed off a brush. Cast over by a specter of gray. It had never been so bright. Vivid. It had never been this.
Buck sucked in a breath and looked around a while new world. And thenāTommy. He wanted to see the man who had brought new life to his world.
5. Tommy could hardly look at him. He was slack-jawed, so shocked it sat on his face like fear. He swallowed a few times and took a halting step back. His mouth opened but he couldnāt speak. Tears ran down his cheeks.
āHey,ā Buck said. āAre you⦠are you okay?ā
āYour eyes,ā Tommy said hoarsely. āTheyāre. Are they⦠blue?ā
Buck nodded. āYeah,ā he said. āYours, too.ā
āI, uhā¦ā He laughed wetly and wiped the back of his hand in a rough swipe across his cheek. āI never knew it would be like this. The⦠All the colors. Iāve neverāā
Buck took a step closer, but this time Tommy didnāt step back. āHey,ā he said again, softer. He hoped he made Tommyās world as bright as Tommy had made his. He put a hand on Tommyās cheek, and Tommy sucked in a breath through his nose and closed his eyes. āYou must have been waiting for a long time. Iām⦠Iām glad Iām finally here.ā
Eva Stratt does NOT need a redemption arc. Eva Stratt did EVERYTHING WRONG so that no-one else would have to. Her hands are permanently stained with blood so humanity gets to keep on living.
Thinking about it, Iām pretty sure my ancestors would be horrified with me.
Not because Iām lazy or unworthy or anything like thatā¦
ā¦but because one of my distant uncles was among the eight survivors of the Essex, the ship that inspired the ending of Moby Dick and sank after being rammed by a whale, and what do I fuckin do after my bloodline has this Ordeal at Sea?
I get a fuckin degree in Marine Science and go back the fuck out there.
Someone said āThe slow burn of becoming yourselfā and I think that might be one of the most beautiful things I have ever heard. Itās such a good reminder of how much it takes, how much character development, how much change, and beauty and courage it takes to reach your soul and I hope no one ever gives up on becoming themselves because itās a never ending journey that only gets better.
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The Mermaid That Ate My Best Friend's Boyfriend by Paryton
Rating: Explicit
204,114 words, 28/28 chapters
Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Tags: Into The Drowning Deep AU, Alternate Universe - Mermaids, mermaid Steve Harrington, Siren Steve Harrington, Monsterfucker Eddie Munson, Human/Monster Romance, Getting Together, Meet-Ugly, Mutual Pining, Developing Relationship, Alien Cultural Differences, Awkward Conversations, Language Barrier, Sign Language, Misunderstandings, platonic hellcheer, Platonic Stobin, Survivor Guilt, Homesickness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Speculative Monster Biology, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy, mild pregnancy related body horror, I got a little weird with this one ngl, Animal Death, Minor Character Death, the antagonist trifecta of Jason-Billy-Brenner, Blood and Gore, implied/referenced cannibalism regarding the mermaids not the humans, although some humans are killed and eaten, mermaids in this au are hungry monsters š„ŗ, Porn with Feelings, Fluff and Smut, Skinny Dipping, First Time Bottoming, Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Anal Sex, Hand Jobs, Oral Sex, Penis in Cloaca sex, look the biology gets weird I don't know how to tag for that, Sex in a lake, Switching, but mostly:, Top Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Queer Eddie Munson, Queer Steve Harrington
Summary:
In the night the merman was painted monstrous by the act. Jaws that cracked open on too many teeth, a voice between its lips that wasnāt its to take, red blood on its face and its claws and staining the ends of its hair and chest. Almost human. And entirely, dramatically, undeniably nothing human.
By the daylight, though, Eddieās merman is something else entirely.
Eddieās kind of scared to sleep now. Not because of the usual horror show of watching people get murdered and eaten right in front of him. But because his merman is quite possibly the most beautiful thing heās ever seen in his life.
Thereās gotta be a special hell for sexualising the thing that ate your best friendās boyfriend. If not, they should probably make one for Eddie.
***
Or: The Hawkins National Laboratory is up to some shady shit. Not that Eddie's paying any attention, not until he finds something trapped in Lovers' Lake. Or, more accurately, not until something trapped in Loversā Lake finds him.
This rec is a part of Theme Weekend. The theme this weekend is Platonic Hellcheer.
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bucktommy, past buckabby and abbytommy | 3.2k | rated t
inspired by this gifset by @angels-all-sin
Abby is in the kitchen of her and Sam's home in Phoenix, mixing dough for a focaccia. It's going to be a great focaccia, and she works the herbs into it with only a bit of spite. Some of Sam's college friends are coming to visit that evening.Ā
It's not that she dislikes them. It's uglier, more complicated than that. They're good, warm, kindhearted people, but they knew a version of Sam that she never will. She knows on some level that it's a ridiculous thing to be jealous of: she knows who Sam is now, and she wouldn't have it any other way. There are parts of her that he will never know either, and they're both better off for that. That doesn't mean it doesn't get under her skin when Sam's friends make him snort and wheeze with uncontrollable laughter as they recount the exploits of a man with Sam's name who bears no resemblance to the kind, gentle man she's been married to for four years. Abby doesn't think she would have fallen in love with that other man, or that he would have fallen in love with the person she used to be.Ā
She loves her life now, and so she chafes against any reminder of how unlikely it was that she would have ended up in it. She met Sam at the exact right time for both of them, completely by chance: fellow Americans travelling alone in Europe. What were the odds? How close did she come to never even catching sight of this version of her life, nevermind actually grabbing hold of it?Ā
Abby's phone rings, breaking her concentration. The name that appears on her screen makes her blink.Ā Speaking of long odds and past lives.Ā Curiosity gives way to worry as she wipes the oil off of one hand and answers.Ā
"Well this is a surprise," she says, tucking the phone between her cheek and shoulder. "Hi Buck. Is everything okay?"Ā
A wet laugh comes through the speaker. "Depends on your definition, I guess. Do you, uh, do you have a minute?"Ā
"You're never gonna believe this one. Uh, so, it turns out I'm bisexual."Ā
"Oh." Did her ex-boyfriend really break years of amicable silence just to come out to her? "Okay. Well, congratulations. I take it you figured that out recently?"Ā
"Yeah, uh, about- about six months ago. I didn't have the word yet, but I met this guy, and, uh- well, this is the part you're not gonna believe."Ā
Now Abby is intrigued. "I'm all ears."Ā
[keep reading on ao3]
tags under the cut
tagging some mutuals and people who have recently tagged me in games!
Chapters: 8/9
Fandom: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson
Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Jim āChiefā Hopper, Joyce Byers, Robin Buckley, Nancy Wheeler, Eleven | Jane Hopper, Maxine āMaxā Mayfield, Dustin Henderson, really everyone is here at points
Chapter Summary:
People keep trying to get him to eat. Dustin is here. He is aware that he is not alone, that he is surrounded. He is aware that these people love Steve very much and he thinks they must hate him. He hates himself. He should never have told Steve how long they drove him to get to that warehouse. If heād delayed a little longer, he would be dead and Steve would be all right.
El sits across from him. She is quiet and she is alone. She will not meet his gaze.
Eddie hates her and he hates himself and he hates Jim Hopper. They should have kept Steve home. They should never have tried to save Eddie at Steveās expense.
Doors burst open and Eddie looks up. Heās on his feet. He thinks it is a doctor with bad news, but it is so much worse.
Robin Buckley runs into the waiting room with glassy, swollen eyes, crying, and Eddieās knees hit the ground because he is so, so sorry.
and would it be too mean if I said that when it comes to discovering new books to read it seems like of people would rather just act willfully helpless and blame tiktok for "ruining literature" instead of putting in a very small amount of effort to find the damn books?
whenever this conversation comes up a lot of people start saying something akin to "just read older books" and while I do agree that humanity has an absolutely staggering backlog of books big enough to keep anyone entertained, it often seems to come with an unspoken implication (or, sometimes, ca very clear statement) that this is necessary because all books published now are Awful and Bad. to which I would like to say, respectfully, Shut The Fuck Up. the books that annoy you are not the sum total of everything being published.
personally I think best results will always come from just wandering around a library or indie bookstore and picking stuff up, but variety is the spice of life so here are some other places where I like to learn about cool new books coming out
BookBrowse is a great resource that includes readalikes, new releases, and the option to filter fiction and nonfiction by genre, subgenres, time period, setting, page count, debut books, and small presses.
Discover books that entertain, engage, and enlighten. Reviews, excerpts, reading guides, reading lists, info for book clubs & more.
BookPage publishes small monthly magazines that can be found in many libraries and bookstores, but all of their lists, author interviews, and reviews can also be found on their website. each month spotlights new releases across a variety of genres and age groups.
Find expert book recommendations for the best books to read in all genres
Electric Literature publishes short stories, poems, novel excerpts, interviews with authors, and even the occasional book list
Books by Katie Kitamura, Angela Flournoy, and Susan Choi are among the year's most celebrated novels
the Indie Next List compiles a monthly list of titles recommended by independent booksellers across the US, with an archive of lists
Lit Hub publishes lots of great pieces and literary news, in addition to book lists
over at Paste we've got, you guessed it, reviews, recommendations, and author interviews
Paste Magazine is your source for the best music, movies, TV, comedy, videogames, books, comics, craft beer, politics and more. Discover you
like sci-fi, fantasy, and horror? check out Reactor Mag! among other things, they have monthly compilations of all the genre fiction coming out
Reactorās regular book reviewers talk about notable titles they read in 2025
and for my podcast heads check out The Stacks, where host Traci Thomas is dropping weekly interviews with authors about their new books and the podcasts' monthly book club reads
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Hot air balloons. Those things don't have engines or controls for him to play with, he can't steer it, the physics involved is basically Hot Air Goes Up, and all he gets are the burners
They're on a little mini vacation getaway together in California and Buck tries to arrange a special balloon ride date with Tommy as a surprise -and it's like the one time Tommy hands down flat out refuses to go along with it. Just stalks off back to the car - no discussion possible he is NOT going up in that deathtrap he's not even going to be piloting and Evan had better not be going either, he's serious Evan get back in the car we're leaving.
Even funnier, Buck was about to propose - wanted to do it up in the air because he knows that's where Tommy feels truly free but he can't propose when Tommy's flying so he planned the balloon thing and has this whole beautiful romantic speech ready about wanting to spend the rest of his life making sure he's part of what gives Tommy freedom etc.
But Tommy is serious. Buck cancels the tour and goes back to the car and Tommy's feeling bad with how hardline he was and how crestfallen Evan is so he's like, hey, look, it was a nice thought, sorry. And hey, I know you had this all planned out but - we're in wine country - in fact a buddy of mine has an in at a very exclusive winery around here, we can still salvage the day!
So Tommy calls in a favor and takes them up to some perfect niche spot where they can sip on wine and decadent charcuterie and such, he orders them the best treats, gets them the most romantic little side nook to sit in looking out over the beautiful rolling hills of the vineyards below.
Meanwhile Buck is fully in his head spiraling out - honestly he has barely slept for days between busy shifts at work he doubled up on to get the vacation days and nerves over-preparing for this - and now all he can think is Tommy must've sensed that he was about to propose -
Which means oh god Tommy's taking the offramp trying to spare them from the relationship-nuking option of refusing a proposal directly - and like, he should be grateful Tommy's doing that, right? Instead of breaking up with him for going Full Buck on things again and giving them a chance to get there, keeping him from jumping the gun.
But. Like, he thought they were good, they've been hinting to each other about marriage, haven't they? They had the "would you ever get married" conversation in the early days of getting back together along with the kids conversation. They live together, they've adopted a pet together, but... if he's not ready yet then maybe he's never going to be ready because they've been together again for like two years and what if-
Evan is so quiet so he's trying to explain how he loved the intent but all the reasons why balloons are just such a nightmare and Evan just keeps sitting there not touching his wine or the honeycomb or his whipped goat cheese that he usually loves looking sadder and sadder as Tommy keeps trying to explain harder until suddenly Evan blurts-
"I have to break up with you!"
Tommy blinks, his mouth hanging open, "What."
"You - you deserve to be free to live your best life, and if you don't want to marry me by now then you're never going to want to marry me so that means you're just staying with me because you feel bad for how things went last time or maybe just because you haven't found anything better yet but you won't if you're busy with me all the time so I have to break up with you so you'll go find the person you can be happy with."
"What," Tommy says. "The fuck."
"You probably hate the ring too even though I spent so much time picking it out even though it's - well you'll see," Buck says as he pulls the ring box out and opens it and puts it on the table, and it's this classic unpretentious yellow-gold ring with just the tiniest little gems inset into this simple subtle geometric design. "It looks like I didn't put any effort into it at all because it's so simple but I promise I put so much effort into it, I went way over the top with like meteorites and dinosaur bones and rare metals and then all the way back to like - is he even a ring guy at all? - and then back again but it doesn't matter anyway because you don't want it and-"
"Hey!" Tommy yelps, jamming his fingers in the lid and then pulling the ring box away when Evan tries to snap it closed again.
And he's pulling it out of the box and there's an inscription on the inside - something about the sky and storms but he can't read it properly because his vision's blurring with tears because the ring is so perfectly what he's secretly always wanted and beautiful, and he knows he should wait for Evan to do it but he can't wait he can't and he slips it on and of course it's a perfect fit. Of course it looks like it was always meant to be there.
Evan finally falls quiet, looking at him with this broken-hearted expression.
"It's perfect," Tommy says.
"They're lab grown," Evan confesses in a whisper.
"Of course they are," Tommy says, because he would never expect Evan to buy natural diamonds ever again after that documentary they watched.
"They're not even diamonds," Evan presses, brows furrowed like Tommy isn't getting it.
"They're moissanite," Tommy says, looking at the faint blue tint to the stones, "I know. They're more brilliant than diamonds. They refract rainbows instead of plain white and anyone who thinks diamonds are better jewelry is a sucker for diamond-industry propaganda. You told me."
"Right."
"You picked ones that are the color of the sky."
And Evan nods, looking confused and still heartbroken somehow.
"I went more green for yours."
"Mine?"
"Your engagement ring," Tommy says, sighing a little contentedly as he sits back and holds his hand up to the light to watch the sparkle when it catches the glory of the sun. "I doubted myself a thousand times but the fact is you're anything but plain white. It's back at our hotel, though. I wasn't sure what your plans were for today so I didn't want to risk it on - you know, if we went whitewater rafting or horseback riding or something. Couldn't afford to lose it, since I was going to ask you on the last day of our trip."
"Ask me what?" Evan says, still like he isn't quite comprehending anything because he's staring at the ring on Tommy's hand, halfway forlorn.
"To marry me, sweetheart," Tommy says, and he really doesn't mean to laugh at him, but it's cute, and he knows the path of a full-blown Evan anxiety spiral by now and how it's going to be a minute before he really gets his equilibrium back from catastrophising and his brain comes back online.
"You're going to ask me to marry you?" he mumbles, and there's finally hope starting to overtake the panicked dread in his eyes.
"Yeah."
"I'm gonna say yes."
Tommy runs his thumb along his ring, a thing he's going to probably do a million times a day for the next, oh, forever, and says, "I figured, considering."
And he can't quite help but laugh at the pout he gets because he's pretty high on relief right now, and the perfect disaster of a proposal that's both everything he wanted and nothing he could have predicted.
"You're gonna marry me," Evan says, staring at him.
"Yeah," he says, taking his hand and running his thumb over the spot where he's going to put the ring he picked out as soon as he physically can. "I am."