A Terrible Mistake

thinking of inventing a new type of person to get mad at on here. maybe people who carry too many keys around.. i dont know yet

DAD: i just heard on t he news that teens are taking the "Kick My Ass" challenge. please dont do this ME: you have no power over me, odl

horny does'nt exist

the words "yugioh angel" reverse burned into my flesh after attempting to pose shirtless on the hood of my modified car during a heat wave

building a casket from my babydaughter in minecraft in lieu of a real casket which i can not affort.

SOup is not lunch. Soup is a condiment

chiropracty is real and it works on swords also.

i may not know "jack shit" , but i know my friend "Jack fists" and he would like to come to knock the shit out of your teeth,

rubbinb hand sanitizer all over my loud mouthed pet birds

im going to get shit on a lot for posting this but i dont care

the human mind... perhaps the most powerful weapon. second only to the "GUN"

the Law Man surveys the room, and is able to locate me hiding behind a potted plant thanks to my tail of miserable , fucked up turds

WHO SUMMONE D WRESTLERS TO MY YARD. I DESPERATELY NEED STOMACH MEDS AND IM AFRAID TO GO LEAVE HOUSE. MY BIRDBATH HAS ALREADY BEEN SUPLEXED

sheriff's department transmission decoded by anonymous: "Please Keep Rowdy Beasts Away From Mayor During Dog Show" --what could it all mean??

id like to report an error of the googleglass please. if you accidentally wear it backwards it send a video of a big horrible eye to everyone

looking at some picture of dracula.

looking at pictures of rotisseries chickens i wish i could maul with my bare hands