It's koriitime!

highlights include:

killing the lights and fucking booking it when you defeat him, and then just straight up deserting the garlean army with absolutely no remorse or hesitation

leaving the praetorium and almost immediately posting up under a streetlight in a stupid outfit in revenant's toll like some kind of clown hooker, waiting to direct wol to the crystal tower questline JUST so he could involve himself, too

showing up in the middle of a major city not even slightly in disguise to walk up to a meeting of world leaders and say "now it's clear the problem you're having is that you haven't involved MEEEEEE"

accepting wearing an ironworks uniform but dying it red because #aesthetics

magical girl armor transformation

bonus: cid keeping his sunglasses and then just silently handing them back afterward as if they do this all the fucking time

getting attacked and injured but just refusing to tell anyone about it until he literally collapsed

sneaking out of the infirmary but not before forging cid's signature on his expense report

telling his fellow garleans that if all they were gonna do is whine and refuse any solutions to their problems they could just fucking die for all he cares

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: "I need you to pretend you're in church." [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]

Anaethetist's new reg with big, horrified eyes: "You mean we should start praying???"

7. Panicking rad tech: "Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am not paid enough if I break it. Can you - "

Surgeon, casual as: "Yeah, sure."

:violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:

8. ODP to theatre assistant: "Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you."

Theatre assistant: "Thanks! it grew on me :)"

9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I'm having barbeque tonight.

Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli's getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?

Me: I mean. There's a pretty long wait list

Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight

Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff